


The Commander's Boudoir

by darkchakram



Series: The Commander's Boudoir [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ambassador Clarke, Angst, Clexa, Erotica, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heda, Light BDSM, Polis, Sex Toys, Smut, grounders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 62,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10017719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkchakram/pseuds/darkchakram
Summary: The Commander’s Boudoir is a collection of Clexa erotica chapters. They imagine a world in which Lexa does not die in episode 3X07 but instead, she and Clarke begin exploring their relationship more fully. Peace has been reached between the Grounders and Skaikru with Skaikru being considered the 13th clan and Clarke their ambassador. Also, Raven helped Lexa defeat Alie, therefore the chip storyline is not in play. In other words, there is peace on Earth and our girls can finally play!





	1. Language Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> All stories will be Clexa centric and NC-17 for mature audiences only. Some. but not all, will contain graphic depictions of BDSM. There will never be any portrayal of non-consensual sex. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em. If I did, well let’s just say, Season 4 would be a hell of a lot sexier.
> 
> Without further ado, here is the first installment of The Commander’s Boudoir. .
> 
> Edited to add: So, when I started this series, I had intended them to be stand alone vignettes but as it has turned out the story has taken a life of it's own and a narrative had been threaded through each story. Therefore, I will be changing the format of this story. Future installments will be uploaded as chapters rather than individual stories.

Language Lessons

“You wanted to see me, Commander?” Clarke asked formally as she entered the Commander’s personal chambers. 

“Yes, Ambassador,” Lexa answered. Clarke could see that her girlfriend was working hard to suppress a grin. Very few people knew about their budding relationship and both women were more than happy to keep it that way. 

“Skaikru will be sending over those supplies we discussed later this afternoon,” Clarke improvised political chit chat to make it seem as if their meeting were political rather than personal. 

Lexa nodded then turned to her guards. “Leave us,” she ordered. They quickly complied.

Once the doors were shut. Clarke walked toward Lexa but Lexa held up her hand to stop her.

The move surprised Clarke but she stopped where she stood nonetheless. Her brow furrowed. She hoped nothing had gone wrong with the alliance. Their peace had always been tenuous but the past two weeks had been so blissful that Clarke was beginning to hope that calm would become the new norm. 

Lexa finally cracked the smile she’d been holding back. She hadn’t meant to scare Clarke. The blonde's pouty, worried face was so adorable she wanted to throw her in the bed and have a go. But she restrained herself.

“Is everything okay?” Clarke asked. 

“Yes, but I have called you here on official business. What were you expecting, Clarke?” Lexa couldn’t resist teasing her a little.

“I think you know what I was expecting.” Clarke's voice dropped low, laced with desire.

Lexa nodded and pointed to her couch, “Let’s sit.” 

Clarke walked past the Commander, purposefully brushing her as she did so, and sat on the far end of the sofa. Before joining her, Lexa poured them two cups of tea from a pot that sat on the round table in the sitting area of the Commander’s chambers. “It’s a bit sweet but I think you will enjoy it. It has a relaxing effect.” When Clarke had first come to Polis she'd been surprised to see the more delicate side of Lexa. But now that she'd been in the capital for some weeks, the shock had worn off and Clarke was simply happy for even the slightest glimpses of Lexa's graceful femininity.

Clarke took a sip of the steaming and fragrant brew. Letting the tea play on her palate, she tried to guess the flowers. Lavender maybe. Too sweet to be chamomile. The exercise brought back memories of the Herbs, Flowers, and Leaves lecture from her Earth Studies class in high school. That seemed like a completely different lifetime. She looked across the couch at Lexa. For the first time since she’d come to Earth, she was truly grateful that the Council had decided to send the delinquents to Earth. If she would’ve stayed on the Ark, she’d never have met Lexa. And although she would have likely found love, she couldn’t imagine that it would have ever compared to what she felt for Lexa. 

“You’re deep in thought.” Lexa relaxed her back against the sofa.

“Yes. The tea is good, I like it.”

“Good. But you looked like you were a million miles away. Wanna talk about it?” Lexa was curious about what was going on in Clarke’s beautiful mind.

Clarke shook her head. She knew that Heda didn’t like to talk about love and emotions. Clarke was afraid if she told her what she’d been thinking that Lexa would see her as weak, maybe even pathetic. “No, it’s nothing. So, what did you summon me for?”

“Language lessons.”

“Language lessons?”

“Yes, I want you to teach me more of your language?”

“You are actually much more fluent in mine than I am yours. In fact, most of your people seem to understand us much better than we understand you. I mean obviously your language is derived from Gonasleng. I don’t think you need any lessons.”  


“Would you deny me, Clarke?” 

“What? No, it’s not like that?” Clarke saw a twinkle in Lexa’s green eyes and realized the Commander was toying with her. 

“Then let’s begin.” Lexa edged closer. “Sit very still, Clarke, okay?”

Clarke nodded.

“Now, wherever I touch you, say the name and only the name of the body part. If you say anything else, you will be punished.”

“Punished?” Clarke flinched.

“Oh yes, I am a very strict teacher, Clarke.”

“I bet,” Clarke smiled as she finally realized where things were going. 

“Shh,” Lexa warned. “Only what I touch, remember?”

Clarke nodded.

Lexa reached first for Clarke’s hand, letting her fingertips stroke softly along Clarke's knuckles. 

“Hand,” Clarke answered.

Then Lexa started petting Clarke’s index finger with smooth strokes. 

“Finger.”

“Finger,” Lexa whispered then inched her own digit up Clarke’s sensitive inner forearm. She lingered over Clarke’s firm upper arm and squeezed the muscle gently. 

“Bicep,” Clarke leaned in to Lexa as her body responded to the Commander’s touch. 

“Arm, Clarke.” Lexa corrected.

“Yes, but that muscle is called the bicep.”

Lexa pulled back. “Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, Clarke. You’ve broken the rules. You will be punished.”

Clarke opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it. If she dared explain herself, that might be cause for more punishment.  
“Now, give me your jacket.”

“What?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa shook her head, “Looks like it’s gonna have to be the shirt too.” Lexa shot Clarke a look that said keep talking and I’ll take all of your clothes. 

Clarke stripped out of her jacket and tossed it into the chair that sat near the couch. Then she lifted her shirt over her head revealing her bare breasts. Her nipples pebbled under Lexa's stare.

Lexa took the time to properly appreciate their beauty. “Wanheda,” she swallowed, “you are so gorgeous.”

Clarke leaned in hoping for a kiss but Lexa returned to teacher mode. “Let’s continue, shall we?” She squeezed Clarke’s arm again. 

“Arm,” Clarke responded.

As Lexa moved her hand up Clarke’s arm toward her shoulder, the back of her hand grazed the fullness of Clarke’s left breast. Clarke quaked at the contact. Lexa leaned in and whispered. “Control yourself, Clarke.”

The urge to throw Lexa down and fuck her hard was overwhelming but Clarke bit her bottom lip and took a restraining breath.

“That’s good,” Lexa praised, as her finger had reached Clarke’s chin where she stopped it and let it rest in the dimple she found there. 

“Chin,” Clarke answered.

“You passed the first test, but just barely. Three out of four, for a 75% score. I would have thought you a better student.”

Clarke wanted to defend herself but saw the taunting for what it was--bait. Lexa was trying to get her to go off on her so she could punish her more. Well, she wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. 

“Phase 2. Instead of using my hands and fingers, I will now be using my mouth and tongue. Otherwise, the rules are the same. Nod if you agree and understand.”

Clarke nodded as her core clenched anticipating Lexa’s hot mouth. 

“Lie down.” Lexa ordered as she moved off the couch and onto her knees next to Clarke. Once Clarke got comfortable, Lexa pulled the blonde's hair back and brought her earlobe into her mouth.

Lexa’s breath on her neck was warm and the suckling of her earlobe was doing all kinds of crazy things to Clarke’s belly. She nearly forgot to answer. “Earlobe,” she blurted out. 

Clarke turned her face toward Lexa hoping that Heda’s next stop would be her mouth. But Lexa went straight for Clarke’s right breast. She laved at the pearl pink nipple and then took it into her mouth.

“Mmmm,” Clarke moaned and reached up to pull Lexa’s head in closer to her bosom. 

Lexa pulled away. “I didn’t say you could touch. I was very clear. I told you to be still. I’m afraid you’ll have to be punished.”

Clarke arched her back in frustration at Lexa pulling her mouth from her. 

Lexa grabbed Clarke’s shirt. “Give me your hands,” she ordered. Clarke presented her wrists and Lexa fashioned a rope form Clarke’s top to bind her hands. She then pushed Clarke’s arms up over her head. Then stood up. “Now, keep them there. Gives me better access to your. . . .what do you call them? Oh wait, you never told me. Guess you’ll have to be punished again.” Lexa pulled Clarke’s boots and socks off. Then made quick work of her fly. “We will just leave that open. Maybe you won’t miss anymore answers. Now, where was I?”

“My tits. You were kissing my tits.”

“Did you like that?”

“Yes. Please kiss them more.” 

“Well, you know you just misspoke right now. But I’m a generous and forgiving person so I’m gonna let that one slip. Don’t make me regret it.”

Clarke nodded.

With Clarke’s arms raised above her head, her breasts jutted proudly skyward. Lexa returned to her knees and resumed kissing Clarke’s breasts. As Clarke wriggled and squirmed, Lexa could feel her own restraint breaking down. “Hold your hips still or I will have to punish you, Clarke.”

Clarke did her best to stop moving but Lexa’s mouth was driving her mad. Lexa was only starting though. She moved down Clarke’s belly and stopped at her navel where she licked the circumference before dipping deep into the hole. 

“Belly button,” Clarke cried.

Lexa smiled against Clarke’s warm belly. She could hear the frustration in her girlfriend’s outburst. She moved lower down Clarke’s torso until she reached the open zipper. She pulled the flap back by taking the button between her teeth. Clarke’s baby blue panties peeked back at her. Lexa moved off the floor and onto the couch between Clarke’s legs. She looked up into the eyes that nearly matched the color of the panties. Clarke’s look begged her to keep up the torture. Lexa placed a tender kiss on Clarke’s mound through the soft garment. Then she opened her lips wider and pressed a harder open-mouthed kiss lower toward Clarke’s clit. Clarke’s hips bucked and writhed. 

Lexa pulled back. “You haven’t answered Clarke. You haven’t told me what this most delicate place of yours is called.”

“Pussy,” Clarke panted. 

“I’m afraid it is too late. You will have to be punished.” Lexa ripped Clarke’s pants from her legs, leaving the blonde in nothing but her underwear. Lexa reached down into her boot and retrieved her boot knife and made quick work of the panties. 

“Hey, those are hard to come by down here,” Clarke complained.

“Clarke,” Lexa snapped. Clarke realized quickly that she’d spoken out of step again. 

Lexa looked at her naked lover. “Well, you have nothing left for me to take. So what am I to do with you?” Lexa paced the floor theatrically. “I know,” she said as she started taking off her own clothes. When she was fully nude she walked over to Clarke and put her throbbing center next to Clarke's face but just out of her lover's reach. 

Clarke could smell her partner and ached to take her into her mouth. She licked her lips and tried to move her mouth closer but her arms above her head restrained her movement. 

“Oh fuck it,” she said and ripped her hands free. Clarke sat up on a mission. Lexa jumped back. The tables had turned quickly. Clarke pushed Lexa back into the chair. Lexa could feel the leather of Clarke’s jacket beneath her. “Put your feet up, on the arms” Clarke ordered. Lexa worked quickly to obey. The angle put Lexa’s wetness on full display. Clarke was pleased to see how ready the Commander was, as a trickle of fresh juices hit the chair. “And you were going to teach me about control. You can’t even control your own cunt.” Clarke smirked before she devoured Lexa.

Later as they lounged in the bed together, Clarke’s hand over Lexa’s left breast, Clarke could feel Lexa’s heartbeat. She drummed her fingers in rhythm with it. 

“Tombom,” Lexa whispered, “And, Ai tombom ste yun.”

Clarke didn’t even fight the tears. She let them flow freely. “My heart is yours too.”

The end.


	2. Good Vibrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke brings Lexa a gift.

Good Vibrations

Clarke was waiting in the Commander’s chambers when Lexa arrived. She sat in her favorite chair sketching the sunset scene that had painted the view outside Lexa’s window with shades of dark purple, rich persimmon, and bright salmon. 

“It’s beautiful,” Lexa looked over Clarke’s shoulder.

“It’d be more beautiful if I had some colored pencils or crayons.”

“Did you have those things? In the Sky?”

“We did. They were scarce but we did have some basic art supplies. Mostly pens though. Once my dad bought me a box of colored chalk for my birthday. It must have cost him half a day’s pay.”

“You loved him.”

“Of course I did,” Clarke chuckled. “He was my father.”

Lexa swallowed and looked down. She reached to her shoulder and unclipped the red sash she’d been wearing, leaving her in a long grey tunic and leggings. She sat down on the couch and started working the buckles of her boots. There was something in the jerkiness of her movements that told Clarke that she’d somehow upset her partner.

“Lexa. Did I say something?”

“It’s nothing Clarke.”

“It’s clearly something.”

“Nothing you’ve done.” Lexa kicked her boots to the side and settled back onto the couch.

“We can talk about it.” Clarke put aside her sketchpad and moved onto the couch with Lexa.

“Pointless.” Lexa pulled Clarke into her lap. “Was that Raven Reyes I saw you talking to in town today?”

“Yes, but how did you? You weren’t at the market with me.”

“Bird’s eye view.” Lexa pointed to the window.

“Oh,” Clarke hoped desperately that Lexa hadn’t seen what she was up to with Raven. 

“What’s she doing in Polis?”

“Buying tech scrap from one of the vendors.” Clarke lied. 

“You’re lying, Clarke.” Lexa cocked her head at Clarke.

“What?”

“You’re lying. You have a tic, you know. A tell.”

“I’m not lying. And I do not have a tell.” Clarke stood up.

“You do too.”

“Then what is it?” Clarke demanded.

“Why would I tell you? Then you’d be conscious of it and stop doing it and then I wouldn’t know when you’re lying. Like you are right now.”

“Ok fine. But I’m not really lying. It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, for you.”

“I don’t like surprises, Clarke.” Lexa poured herself a drink from the decanter that sat on the table. “You want a glass?”

“Would love one. And you will like this surprise. I promise.”

“And it has something to do with Raven?” Lexa was looking more skeptical by the minute.

“Indirectly,” Clarke took a cup from Lexa and drank a full mouthful of the intoxicant. She coughed. “What is that?”

“Jazz.”

“Jazz?”

“I think your people would call it Hooch or White Lightning. Out with it. Where is this surprise?”

“It’s for later,” Clarke put the cup back on the table. She was afraid if she took another swig, she'd grow a beard.  


"It is later, Clarke," Lexa smiled.

The smile was Clarke’s undoing. Heda smiled for no one, but Lexa smiled for Clarke and it always broke Clarke’s resolve. “Very well.” Clarke held her hand out. Lexa took it and let Clarke lead her to the bed. “Get comfortable.”

“Do you want me to take my clothes off, Clarke?”

“Well, I sorta thought that was implied in the comfortable part,” Clarke playfully pushed Lexa down onto the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

Clarke grabbed her bag from where it sat under her chair. She glanced down at her open sketchpad. The sunset scene was actually very beautiful even if it did lack the color to really bring it to life. The drawing brought back the conversation that Lexa had dodged, something had upset her. Clarke filed the memory away underneath the heading, “The Mysterious Heda.” She’d reopen the file on one of those days when Lexa was in a talkative mood. For now, she had other plans. 

Bag in hand, Clarke returned to the bed to find Lexa nestled under the furs, her clothes pooled neatly on the floor. Clarke tugged the fur from Lexa’s naked body. “What was the point in taking off your clothes if you were going to hide all of this from me?”

“I wasn’t hiding.”

“Hmm,” Clarke mumbled. In some ways, she felt that Heda was always hiding. She felt like that she’d been an open book but Lexa was always guarded. There were more layers to her than she wanted Clarke to see. 

“What?” Lexa raised up on her elbows.

“Nothing,” Clarke wasn’t about to get into a serious discussion about openness right now. Not when Lexa was displayed before her in all of her glory. “Scoot over.”

Clarke crawled into bed and the two started kissing, gently at first but before long hunger took over. Clarke took the top position and Lexa was more than happy to let Wanheda take the lead. She kissed down Lexa’s long throat to the hollow between the collarbone. She teased butterfly kisses along Lexa’s clavicle while she moved her hand to the Commander’s most secret place.  
Lexa was already so wet that Clarke felt her own center swell at the power she held over Heda. 

“Close your eyes, Heda.” 

Clarke watched as dark lashes closed over the green marbles of Lexa’s eyes. 

“Do you trust me?” She whispered softly as her fingers continued to play languid strokes along Lexa’s slick cleft. 

“Yes, Clarke,” Lexa panted. 

“Good, I have something for you.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a small cylinder. “This might feel a little cold at first but it’ll warm up, I promise.” Clarke rolled the cylinder between her hands to knock off some of the chill. Then, she glided the toy along Lexa’s slit.

With a sharp intake of breath, Lexa asked, “what’s that?”

“Well, I don’t know what your word for it is but we call it a sex toy.” Clarke began massaging Lexa’s clit with it. Lexa’s knees fell further apart as she let Clarke work her nub. “Would you like to see it? You can open your eyes.”

Lexa looked down her body at the shiny silver toy. 

“Do you like it?” Clarke asked as she dipped the head of the toy into Lexa’s opening to wet it before returning to work on her girlfriend’s clit.

“Yes,” Lexa answered between heavy breaths.

“It gets better,” Clarke smiled.

“How?” Lexa’s hips moved in rhythm with Clarke’s ministrations. “I’m so close.”

“Like this,” Clarke pressed a button on top of the toy and it begin to vibrate.

“What the. . . “Lexa cried out as an orgasm ripped through her. 

When Heda finished coming and collapsed sweaty and spent onto the furs, Clarke allowed herself a self-satisfied grin. 

Finally able to talk again, Lexa looked at the toy still in Clarke’s left hand. “What is that?”

“A vibrator.” Clarke handed the toy to Lexa.

“How did you. . .”

“Push the button.”

Lexa fingered the button and the toy thrummed in her hand. “Raven built this? Did you tell her about us?”  
Clarke ignored the feeling of hurt that came from the realization that they may never be able to go public with their love. “Of course not. I wouldn’t jeopardize everything we’ve worked for. I told her I wanted it for myself, that I was lonely.”

“She made it for you?”

“She’s a mechanic.”

“Is this a common sex item for Skaikru?”

“Well on the Ark toys could be bought if you knew the right people But they were mostly made of plastics or more rarely rubbers. This is some kind of metal, Raven really is a genius.”

“Did you have one?”

Clarke smiled.

“Yes, my mother was a doctor and rather progressive. We had the talk at an early age, I think I was 10. I had no idea what she was talking about at the time but in a couple of years I got it. When I was a little older, she bought me a vibrator to keep me from getting pregnant, I think. We had a very strict one-child policy on the Ark.”

“You are just full of mysteries Wanheda,” 

“Me?” Clarke didn’t find herself mysterious at all. To her way of thinking it was Lexa who had all the secrets. 

“The talk?” Lexa surprised her again.

“You know, the talk?”

“What talk?”

“The birds and the bees?” Clarke remembered that there weren’t very many birds or bees on Earth. She wondered what the Grounders called the talk and what euphemisms they used to describe sex to children. “Sex, the sex talk. You know when your parents pull you aside and explain it all to you.”

Lexa nodded but Clarke could tell that no one had had the talk with Lexa. Clarke suddenly felt sorry for her girlfriend. She must’ve had to have learned everything by dint of experience. Her first time must have been equally exhilarating and terrifying. Clarke started to ask Lexa about it but Lexa had other things in mind.

“Lay down, Clarke. My turn to play.” 

The thrill of being under Heda’s command sent blood rushing fast through her veins. There was nothing like the feeling of Lexa’s eyes on her, her hands on her, her mouth on her. Clarke’s mind went dizzy imagining all the delicious things that Lexa might do to her. 

Lexa hefted the vibrator in her palm and studied it for a minute. “It’s hard, but smooth. Heavier than it looks. What do you want me to do with it Clarke?” She asked emphasizing Clarke’s name in that seductive way that sent Clarke’s insides rippling. 

“Whatever you want to do, Heda.” Clarke answered.

“I wanna fuck you with it.”

“Yes, please,” Clarke encouraged by running her hand to her center and spreading her own slit.

At seeing the glistening pink opening, Lexa’s nostrils flared and her tongue involuntarily slipped between her lips as she fought the urge to feast on Clarke’s perfect pussy. Instead, she moved in between Clarke’s legs and brought the vibrator up to the blonde’s mouth. “Wet it good.”

Without ever taking her eyes from Lexa’s seductive stare, Clarke took the toy into her mouth. The tangy blend of metal and Lexa’s juices caused Clarke to seep molten lava from her own volcano, which was primed and ready to erupt just from Heda’s nearness to her rim. Clarke whimpered when Lexa pulled the treat from her. Her whimpers turned quickly into soft moans as Heda slid the first couple of inches of metal inside her. The soft moans morphed into rapid pants as Lexa thumbed the vibrator’s on switch and begin stroking the toy in and out. When Lexa leaned over and begin kissing her clit while still fucking her with the toy, the rapid pants gave way to cries of release. 

After Clarke stopped seizing from pleasure. Lexa placed the toy on the night table and pulled Clarke into her arms. “Well that was fun, Wanheda. What else have you got there in your little bag of tricks.”

“Nothing quite that fancy. Though there is some rope.”

“Ah, for another time maybe. You’d look good all trussed up. In fact, sometime I think I’ll have you made up in that Wanheda makeup you wore when Skaikru joined the coalition and tie you up and strip you of your sexual power.” 

“You can try but it will be you who will be on your knees at the end of the night, Heda,” Clarke rolled over and kissed her partner’s soft cheek. The corner of Lexa’s lip betrayed her by inching up. She knew Clarke was right. She was powerless under the Skaicrasher. There was nothing  
she wouldn’t do for the woman.  
“Reshop, Clarke,” Heda pulled Wanheda in tighter. They feel asleep in a tangle of furs, limbs, and legs. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The gossamer curtains filtered the already soft morning sunlight casting the room in pale shadows. Clarke was disappointed to wake up finding herself alone. She looked around the room for her clothes and found them neatly folded on the couch. Next to them, she was surprised to find a package wrapped in old brown packing paper. It was an oblong rectangle tied with a simple leather cord. Written in kohl on the paper was her name. She shimmied quickly into her clothes and sat on the sofa with the gift in her lap. She knew the present had to be from Lexa even though the Commander hadn’t written anything on the paper to suggest that. Clarke untied the cord and neatly unwrapped the paper. Tears stung her eyes as she looked upon the gift. She had to cover her mouth to keep from crying out loud. Inside the package was a wooden, boxed set of fifty pastels. She couldn’t imagine where Lexa had come up with such a pristine collection. But she wasn’t about to questions it. Clarke fingered open the little gold-tone latch and lifted the lid. Atop the plastic protective covering was a note. 

“Finish your sunset, Wanheda. No one deserves color in their life more than you.”  
-Yours,  
Lexa.


	3. The Shield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has a favor to ask.

The Commander’s Boudoir: The Shield

As Clarke rode into Polis, she realized that the city felt more like home than Arkadia did. In fact, it was becoming to feel more like home than the original Ark had. She knew that had more to do with the city’s leader than it did the city itself. Clarke had spent the past three days in Arkadia. Three tiresome days of committee meetings which centered mostly on things the council expected her to achieve as their ambassador. Most of the requests were reasonable and Clarke felt fairly confident that she could present them to Heda and the coalition without much pushback. But Bellamy’s request that they attempt to retrieve more of the vehicles from the underground garage that had been controlled by the Mountain Men was going to present a problem. Still, she’d promised Bellamy that she would run it by Lexa and the other ambassadors. With any luck, Clarke hoped that the garage had been destroyed when the mountain complex was and the plan wouldn’t be worth pursuing. All the other clans managed to get by without armored trucks, she wasn’t sure why her own people found security in the vehicles. She’d said as much at the committee meeting but the council voted to add it to the list of items they wanted addressed and so as their representative Clarke was sworn to present it to the coalition.

Clarke welcomed the comfort of her room. She was pleased to find that someone had brought fresh furs for her bed and the candles that had burned down to stubs had been replaced by new ones. A gorgeous robe in deep crimson had also been folded neatly and placed at the foot of her bed, a gift from the Commander, no doubt. Clarke considered stripping her clothes off and wrapping up in the robe straight away and indulging in a little nap. She was weary, after all, from the long ride from Arkadia. But the need to see Lexa was overwhelming. So instead, she put her bags away and washed up hurriedly. 

She was disappointed when the guards told her that Heda was not to be interrupted. She felt like a petulant child when she asked them to see if the Commander would make an exception for her. One of the guards conceded and stepped inside the room only to return a couple of minutes later with Titus in tow. 

“Heda is busy, Wanheda. But I’d like a moment of your time.”

Clarke could tell by Titus’ murderous stare that he was upset with Lexa. And she was almost certain that whatever had upset him had something to do with her. “Sure.”

“Can we go to your quarters?”

“After you,” Clarke gestured with her left hand then followed Titus as he led the way to her room.

Clarke had barely gotten the door closed behind her before Titus started in. “People are talking. Talking about the two of you. It lowers her! You have to put a stop to this for Heda’s sake.”

Clarke knew that there was no way that Lexa had confirmed the true nature of their relationship. She wouldn’t risk the coalition. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Titus.”

“Don’t treat me a fool, Wanheda. She gives you gifts,” Titus pointed to the set of pastels which were sitting beside Clarke’s sketchpad on her nightstand. “She favors you in council meetings. And now. Now, I feel she will ask something of you. Something to which you must say, no. If not you will cost her her position as Heda, and likely her life. Defeating Azgeda only put out the fire of rebellion but the coals are still burning in some quarters.”

“I’m well aware of that. You don’t have to lecture. . .”

“But I do. She is like a daughter to me.”

There was something in the phrasing that Clarke didn’t care for. Daughter? Really? Then it hit Clarke. That was why Lexa had gone all stiff when Clarke had been talking about the love she’d had for her own father. It was also why Lexa didn’t know what the sex “talk” was. She’d never had parents. She’d only had Titus. She’d been brought to Polis when she was two. Ripped from her parents’ arms. “She’s not,” Clarke challenged.

“What?” Titus’ nostrils flared and his lip curled.

“Your daughter. And you are not a father. If you were, you would want her to be happy.”

“Her safely is more important than her happiness. She carries the spirit of the Commander. Happiness is a luxury she cannot indulge in. Her happiness is in the prosperity and safely of her people.”

“Her happiness is her own business,” Lexa called as she entered the room. “Leave us Titus.”

“Heda,” Titus bowed reluctantly and skulked out of the room. 

“You’re back Clarke kom Skaikru,” The right side of Lexa’s mouth curling up was the only indication that Clarke’s return brought the Commander joy. “What news?”

“Can’t we leave the politics in the council chamber?”

“Ahh, so you have something to ask me that you’d rather not.”

Clarke cast her eyes floorward. Was she really that easy to read? “Yes, I’d rather present it to the ambassadors all at once. That way you can gauge their reactions without having considered the suggestion yourself.”

“Suggestion? Hmm. Okay, have it your way, Clarke.”  


“Thank you. I’ll present it tomorrow.”

“Very well. As for tonight. I’d like you come to my bedroom wearing nothing but that,” Lexa pointed to the robe. “That is unless you’re too tired after your journey.”

“Never too tired for you.”

Lexa moved closer to Clarke, within touching distance but she restrained herself from reaching out and embracing her lover. She was still dressed as Heda. She whispered, “I’m glad to hear that. I missed you Clarke. And, I have something important to ask you. A favor. I’ll see you in half an hour, then?”

“Yes, Heda,” Clarke answered but worry gnawed at her stomach. Whatever Lexa was going to ask of her was clearly what had put Titus on red alert. Could she do whatever it was that Lexa wanted, even if it put her life at risk? As she watched Lexa walk out of the room, she hoped that she’d have the strength to tell Lexa no if she felt the request was going to put her in any kind of danger. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Even though she was fully covered, Clarke felt exposed as she walked the short distance between her and Lexa’s rooms. The silky fabric rubbed against her already hardening nipples, causing her to anticipate Lexa’s soft touch and kisses. She was sure the guards could see the flush of her cheeks as she moved past them and through the doors to the Commander’s boudoir. 

Lexa sat on the couch running a paddle brush through her long hair. She was wearing a robe that matched Clarke’s except it was dyed the deepest black. The sight of the fiercely strong Commander doing something so delicately feminine sent butterflies loose in Clarke’s belly. She moved Lexa’s way. “May I finish brushing you?”

“Of course, Clarke.” Lexa handed her the brush and Clarke moved in behind the sofa.

“You know I’m completely gone over you, don’t you.” Clarke breathed as she ran the first long stroke through Lexa’s brown mane. 

“No you’re not. You haven’t let your heart get in the way of your head yet. You are still a good representative to your people. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

Clarke didn’t know how she’d been expecting Lexa to respond but a flutter of disappointment jabbed at her heart. She thought they had moved beyond the head over heart business but apparently not. Would it have just been too hard for Lexa to say that she was crazy about her too? Clarke knew that she needed to be patient and not rush Lexa. After all, it was forbidden for her to even take a lover in her position as Heda. And, Lexa had told her a couple of weeks earlier that her heart belonged to her. That should have been enough. It was certainly more of a declaration of love than she'd ever expected to hear from Lexa. Clarke felt ridiculously cliche that she wanted to hear Lexa say I love you. She sighed at her own neediness. 

Lexa must’ve picked up on Clarke’s frustration because she stilled Clarke’s hand with her own. “Clarke. I may not be the most demonstrative of people but I am glad you are here.”

This only served to frustrate Clarke more. “Glad that I’m here?” She sat the brush aside. She felt like a ridiculous schoolgirl. She’d spent the past half-hour giddy about the prospect of spending another night with Lexa. The whole time she was away in Arkadia, she couldn’t wait to get back to Lexa’s arms, Lexa’s bed. Even as she pleasured herself in the stark and sterile confines of her room in Arkadia, she’d fantasized that she was actually in Polis on the Commander’s magnificent bed. For the first time, Clarke was beginning to think that she’d allowed herself to get too invested in Lexa. What if her role as Heda only let her take their relationship so far? Was Clarke setting herself up for another disappointment? Had Bellamy been right? Would Heda always put her people first? Would Heda always trump Lexa? 

“Yes, I’m glad that you’re here, more than you’ll ever know.”

Clarke could feel herself losing control of her feelings. She needed to get out of Lexa’s quarters before she said something she couldn’t take back. “I’m sorry, Heda. You know maybe I should’ve taken a night to rest after my travels. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll just turn in.” Clarke moved for the door.

“Stop, Clarke.”

“I don’t have to take orders from you here. Here you are not my Heda.”

Lexa’s lips spread into a smile. “You’re right. Here, you are my Heda.” 

Clarke gasped. She couldn’t believe that Lexa was admitting that Clarke tended toward the dominant position in their sexual relationship. It was enough to stop Clarke from leaving but she still worried that sex might be the only thing Lexa ever let them have. 

“That’s why I want to ask you to do something for me.”

Clarke felt her solar plexus clench. Here it was. Whatever had been worrying Titus. Lexa was about to ask her the favor that Titus was sure would get Lexa killed. 

Clarke turned to face Lexa ready to hear the request. “What is it?”

“It’s not easy for me, Clarke.” 

Clarke wasn’t sure if she meant asking for any favor was hard for her or if it was this particular favor that was most difficult. 

“You know I’ll do my best to help you, whatever it is.”

“I know that,” Lexa smiled again. She looked almost nervous. It wasn’t a look that Clarke saw on Lexa’s face often and never on Heda’s face.

Lexa stood and dropped her robe. When it fell to the floor, it looked like a pool of ink lapping at Lexa’s ankles. She stalked toward Clarke like a panther. When she reached the blonde, she untied the sash to the red robe and then pushed the material off of Clarke’s shoulders. She placed a chaste kiss on the top of each shoulder and then leaned in and whispered. “Come to bed with me?” 

It was clearly a question and not a demand. And Clarke knew she hadn’t imagined the need in Lexa’s voice. The brunette might not have been able to verbally express her desires in the words that Clarke wanted to hear but there was no mistaking the affection in her voice. 

Clarke took the warrior’s hand and guided her to the edge of the bed. When her knees hit the side of the soft mattress, she turned and pushed her lips to Lexa’s. Lexa deepened the kiss and snaked her hand into Clarke’s hair and cupped it around the back of her neck. Yes, there was no denying Lexa’s need. Clarke just needed to learn to listen to Lexa’s body and heart and not her words. 

Lexa broke the kiss and nudge Clarke gently onto the bed but remained standing herself. “I mentioned a favor.”

“You did,” Clarke nodded. 

Lexa reached into the bedside table and pulled out what looked like a leather belt. Clarke wasn’t sure if Lexa meant to use it on her or if she wanted to be whipped herself. She wasn’t sure she could strap Lexa’s beautiful body and she certainly wasn’t liking the idea of being lashed herself. A hand spanking was one thing, a belt whipping was another. 

When Lexa pulled a modest sized leather-encased dildo out of the nightstand, Clarke saw the leather straps for what it was: a harness. The thought of Lexa fucking her with the dildo excited her as much as the idea of the belt had turned her off. She felt herself throbbing as her center swelled and readied itself. 

“Will you break my shield?” Lexa whispered softly as she held the dildo in her hand. If Clarke’s eyes weren’t deceiving her, Lexa was shaking at the prospect of being fucked with the toy. It was then that she realized just exactly what Lexa was asking of her.

“Your shield? You mean your cherry?”

Lexa looked at her funny. Cherry was a word with which she was familiar but only in the concept of some fruit trees that bloomed near TonDC. 

“Your hymen?” Clarke clarified.

“Yes,” Lexa nodded.

“I’m sorry, I’m confused. You’ve never lost your cherry. . .I mean your hymen . . . your shield?” Clarke was shocked. Not only was Lexa older than her but she’d presumed more versed sexually. But more than that was the nagging realization that Titus knew that Lexa was going to ask this of her. Maybe Lexa had, indeed, told Titus of their relationship. 

“No, I haven’t,” Lexa shifted her feet nervously.

“And you told Titus that you were going to ask me to take your virginity? That’s what’s got him all worked up?”

“What? No, of course not. Titus is my teacher I don’t talk with him about my sex life.”

“Then what’s. . .”

 

“We’ll talk about that later. Right now,” Lexa ran the cock through the leather ring that made up the centerpiece of the harness then pushed the leather phallus into Clarke’s hand silently. It was clearly too much for her to voice the request a second time.

“Of course I will take your shield, Lexa.” And in truth, Clarke knew she’d never been granted such and honor in her life. “But I just have to know. You and Costia. She never penetrated you.”

“Not like this, Clarke. Costia was mine. I am yours.”

Those words were Clarke’s undoing. Tears welled in her blue eyes. She fought them but one escape and trickled down her cheek and onto Lexa’s naked belly as Clarke climbed up her partner’s body. “We are each other’s,” Clarke called before she crushed her lips over Lexa’s.

They kissed and petted for a long time. Clarke knew that Lexa would need to be good and wet if she were going to be able to comfortably take the girth of the dildo. When Clarke felt that Lexa’s well was primed and ready she began strapping the harness around her hips. 

Lexa couldn’t help but grin at the image of Clarke kom Skaikru standing at the edge of the bed with her leather member displayed proudly in front of her. “Make it quick. I hear it’s painful.”

“It doesn’t have to be. Just trust me, Lexa. I’ll take your shield but I’ll do it with honor. I won’t violate you. I’ll do it with love.” Clarke wasn’t even sorry that she’d let the L word slip. The moment was too important for her to be embarrassed about her deep emotion for Lexa. And now that Lexa had offered her this gift, she knew that even if Lexa couldn’t voice it, she loved her too. 

“I do trust you, Clarke.” Lexa said as she watched Clarke’s mouth descend over her center.  
Clarke spread Lexa’s folds with her tongue and licked her until she was sopping wet, a little extra lubing wouldn’t hurt. 

Clarke sat up on her knees and moved her hips in between Lexa’s long spread thighs. She could see Lexa tense at the anticipated penetration. “Relax, I’m going to go slow, remember. First you’re going to feel the head push which won’t be much different than when I dipped the vibrator into you.”

Lexa took a deep breathe and her thighs feel even farther apart. 

“That’s good. If you need me to stop, just say so.” Clarke said with faked confidence. This was new territory for her too. She’d never used a dildo and harness before but she wanted Lexa to have complete confidence in her so she acted as if what she was doing was second nature.

Clarke took the leather tool in her hand and ran it between Lexa’s labia then tapped it a couple of times on her clit. Lexa’s eyes rolled back in her head and she licked her lips. Clarke wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Lexa so excited. It was making her own sex drip onto the flat base of the cock. She thought it was possible that she might come herself before she even got the dick all the way up Lexa. 

With a slight surge forward of her hips Clarke inched the cock into Lexa’s opening. Lexa stiffened at the sensation of being stretched so Clarke held still to let her adjust to the width. She reached down and toyed with Lexa’s nipples until she was sure that Lexa was ready to be stretched more. Clarke moved the shaft in deeper until Lexa whimpered a little. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” Clarke soothed. 

Lexa nodded and Clarke pulled the cock out a little only to dip back in to the same depth that had caused Lexa to whimper. The second time Lexa didn’t cry out. Clarke begin moving in and out at a slow pace, careful not to go any deeper than the point that had caused her lover pain. Soon, Lexa was grinding her hips rhythmically toward Clarke. “I’m gonna go deeper now which is going to stretch you more, okay?”

“Yes,” Lexa panted.

Clarke pushed the cock all the way to the base and held herself there. She was now on top of Lexa in the plank position with her dick deep within her lover. She waited for Lexa to urge her to move. It didn’t take long. Soon Lexa was using her long legs to encourage Clarke. Clarke’s own need had been mounting as she’d worked Lexa’s pussy. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to last once she really started thrusting. But Lexa had adjusted to the width and was ready to be properly fucked. The pace was slow at first but quickly became more frenetic as the base of the cock hammered into Clarke’s clit with every push. “Touch yourself,” Clarke ordered and Lexa went to work massaging her own clit as Clarke grabbed hold of Lexa’s hips and started fucking with everything she had. 

Lexa had only taken a few swipes at her nub before she cried out. It was the last straw as Clarke exploded all over herself and then collapsed onto of her girlfriend. 

“Well?” Clarke asked in a raspy voice.

“Clarke, I think I was meant to be yours.”

“I know I want to be yours,” Clarke answered her and found enough energy to raise up and steal a kiss. 

Lexa gently rolled Clarke off of her and pulled her into a spooning embrace. “Good. There is something I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh I see what you’ve done. Sexed me up and now you’re going to proposition me when you know I won’t say no.”

Lexa jerked away. “I hadn’t considered that.”

Clarke turned to face her lover. “I was joking, Lexa. I know you wouldn’t play me that way. What is it?”

“No, it can wait.”

“Don’t be silly, go ahead.” Clarke urged.

“I’m never silly.”

“Well, that’s true enough. So this is the request that Titus fears, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Lexa nodded.

“Go ahead.”

“I leave next week to go on Progress. I would like you to accompany me.” Lexa ran her fingers tenderly along Clarke’s arm.

“Progress?”

“Yes, it was something I started after I created the coalition. As Commander, I visit the lands of my people. Become a physical presence instead of just a mythic figurehead who rules from Polis. Last year I visited Broadleaf and Blue Cliff. This year, I will be traveling farther afield to Sankru and Delfikru. I want you to travel with me, as my companion.”

Clarke swallowed the lump that lodged in her throat. “Titus thinks the people will abandon you. To be Heda is to be alone. If they see you with me, they may turn on you.”

“Clarke. . .”

“No, Titus is right. I won’t be the death of you, Lexa.”

“You’ll just break my heart, instead?”

Clarke’s own heart nearly leapt out of her chest. Would her denial really crush Lexa? “How long do I have to decide?” 

“Less than a week. I’ll need to make preparations for you if you decide to go and I leave in a week.”

“What happened to head before heart?”

“I don’t see this as choosing you over my people. You are my people now. And if they get to know you as I have, they’ll lo-- . . . they’ll respect you too.”

“I see,” Clarke could hear Titus screaming in her brain but his warning was overridden by the fact that Lexa loved her and wanted to be with her. Wanted her people to accept her as her companion. “Yes, I’ll do it. But who will serve as ambassador in my place.”

“You can choose your second.”

“I’ll need to talk to the Ark. I’ll radio them tomorrow. I’ll make my decision before tomorrow afternoon’s council meeting.”

“Thank you, Clarke.”

Clarke started to speak but Lexa put a finger to her lips. “Thank you for tonight. Thank you for being patient with me, tonight and always.”

“Love is patient, Lexa.”

“You make me doubt my training. You are not weak. You are the strongest person I’ve ever known, Clarke.”

Clarke couldn’t suppress the grin that Lexa quickly smothered with her own. 


	4. Jaunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa R and R.

The Commander’s Boudoir: Jaunt

They’d ridden since sunrise and as Clarke watched the sun drop low over the rolling fields to the West, she hoped desperately that Heda would call camp soon. Her ass was sore and her stomach was starting to grumble. It was the third day of their journey toward Sankru lands and each day had ended in a quick meal and utter exhaustion. Much to Clarke’s displeasure, she hadn’t had much quality time alone with Lexa since the trip had started. The mornings were spent packing up camp and breaking their fast, they rode throughout the day and were too wore out to enjoy each other’s company in the evening. Clarke feared that tonight would be no different. 

Clarke rode at the front of the pack with Lexa and although there had been a couple of impolite stares, no one had said anything about Clarke’s elevated position. Clarke was certain that the silence had more to do with people’s fear of the Commander than it did with respect for herself. But she trusted Lexa and Lexa believed that she would earn their respect. And to that end, Clarke had started speaking to the Grounders exclusively in Trigedasleng for which she had received several approving glances and encouraging nods. 

As taxing as the journey had been, Clarke had to admit, if only to herself, that it was refreshing to be out from under Titus’ glare. He’d stayed back in Polis. He didn’t really rule in Heda’s place but people knew he had her ear and that was enough to keep most of the ambassadors in line. Clarke hoped that Monty was adjusting to serving as ambassador pro tem in her absence. She’d chosen him mainly because he was a listener and Clarke knew that if Skaikru was ever really going to fit into the coalition that it was going to take more listening on the part of the Sky Crashers. Too many of them wanted to force their will and way of life on the Grounders which Clarke feared would only lead to more war. 

She could feel Lexa’s eyes on her, so Clarke turned and smiled at the Commander. “Yu laik staring, Heda.”

“Ai laik,” Lexa knew when she’d been busted. She guided her horse to bring her closer to Clarke. 

“Bilaik ste rude.” Clarke was only joking with Lexa. She didn’t really mind Lexa ogling her except that it got her aroused and she didn’t want to get horny atop a moving horse.

“Does it bother you?” Lexa’s lip curled almost imperceptibly. 

“Only in the best way.” Clarke reverted to Gonaslen as their conversation was private and Lexa seemed to prefer Clarke’s tongue to her own.

“I miss you,” Lexa looked ahead stoically as if they were discussing the terrain or the weather.

“I’ve been with you everyday.” Clarke feigned innocence. 

“You know what I mean. I’m going to call camp early tonight. If you feel like it?”

Clarke bit her lower lip. The Commander of the Thirteen Clans was asking her if she wanted her to call camp early so that she could fuck her. “Oh, I feel like it,” Clarke grinned devilishly. 

Without another word to Clarke, Heda lifted her left hand in the air and pulled the horse’s reins to a halt with her right hand. She called to the crew that was in charge of raising the Commander’s tent and pointed out the spot where she wanted it erected. 

“Osir camppa hir disha sheidgeda,” Lexa called to her people. Clarke watched as the people happily started dropping their packs. Clarke made to dismount but Lexa shook her head. “I want you to come with me. There is something I want to show you.”

Clarke felt guilty leaving the rest of the Grounders to set up camp but she knew better than to question Lexa in front of her people. Lexa could see the misgiving in Clarke’s eyes as the blonde looked back to the people, most of whom had been on foot all day. Lexa trotted over to Clarke. When she got so close that only Clarke could hear her, she reminded Clarke, “I am their Heda, it is their job to service me.”

“Of course.” Clarke had always felt it was better to lead by example but the Grounders’ society was possibly even more hierarchical than the world she’d grown up in. 

“Now, come with me. You can leave your horse here, if you like. He could use the rest. You can ride with me.”

Clarke dismounted her steed and patted him on his left haunch. She reached for Lexa’s outstretched hand and let her lover help her onto the horse blanket behind her. Clarke’s own horse galloped off into the nearby field to graze as Clarke ringed her arms around Lexa’s midsection. Lexa’s long mane tickled her cheek as she leaned into her. Clarke let herself breathe in the honeysuckle scent of Lexa’s golden brown hair. 

“Hold on, Clarke kom Skaikru.” Lexa said before digging her heels into the stallion. And suddenly Clarke was flying. Or at least it felt like flying. The horse ripped over the rolling fields at breakneck speed. She had to clench her thighs hard against his sides to keep from falling off. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. 

Lexa must have sensed Clarke’s fear because she slowed down a bit and turned her face and smiled. “You’re okay. You can hold me tighter if you like. That way if we fall, we fall together.”

Clarke knew that that was exactly what was happening with them. They were falling together. Falling in love. “Where are we going?” 

“If I told you, Clarke, it would ruin the surprise.” But Clarke didn’t have to wait much longer. The rolling fields rose into the foothills of a lush green mountain range. As the horse started to climb, Clarke had to grip Lexa’s waist tighter to keep from falling backwards. 

They hadn’t ascended very far before Lexa moved the horse southward and down into a ravine. It was then that Clarke first heard the running water. The stallion followed a lightly worn footpath until it came to a stream. The water was shallow and it ran quickly but the stream wouldn’t have qualified as raging. Lexa pulled the horse to a stop and then slid off. She turned and helped Clarke down, stealing a kiss in the process. Lexa pulled her pack and blanket from where they were draped over the horse’s back. Then, she clicked her tongue at the animal. It trotted back up the ravine. 

“This is beautiful, Lexa.” Clarke surveyed the landscape as Lexa spread the blanket out over the ground.

“There’s more but first let’s have a bite to eat.” Lexa dug into her bag and pulled out a cloth wrapped bundle. When she untied it, she revealed a fare of roasted hickory nuts, dried venison, wild blackberries, a chunk of bread, and a sliver of a cheese wheel, Clarke realized the Lexa had prepared for this little detour. It wasn’t something that was thrown together impromptu. Lexa had to have put that bundle together before they’d pulled up camp that morning. Lexa sat on the blanket and motioned for Clarke to join her. “You must be famished, Your stomach has sounded like Pauna since noon.”

“Thanks,” Clarke winced. She didn’t appreciate being compared to a raging gorilla but she couldn’t deny that she was starving. 

Lexa grinned. “I was half afraid you were going to eat me.”

“You half hoped I was going to eat you,” Clarke leered.

“Behave. Here,” She pushed a blackberry to Clarke’s pretty pink lips. Clarke couldn’t resist nipping at Lexa’s finger. Lexa let her nibble on it before pulling it away. 

Clarke’s actual hunger got the better of her and she calmed down long enough to enjoy their dinner. She saved her cheese for last. “This is amazing. We had some fresh food on the Ark thanks to Farm Station. But most of our food was dry nutrient crackers.”

“Sounds disgusting.”

“It was. I’m glad they sent us down. Imagine, if the life support system hadn’t started failing. I would have lived my whole life and died up there,” Clarke looked to the sky. The moon had risen and was starting to glow even though there were a couple hours of daylight left. 

“I’m sorry for all that you’ve been through and all that you’ve lost but I am glad you were sent down too. I thought I knew what it was like to care for someone but I never knew it could feel like this.” 

“Lexa,” Clarke could barely breathe. Lexa was looking at her with a hunger no food could satisfy. 

Clarke moved into Lexa’s lap, straddling her. Lexa pulled Clarke’s head down to meet her. Their mouths clashed, driven by three days of need. Clarke could taste the sweet tartness of the blackberries that still lingered on Lexa’s lips. 

“Mmmm,” Lexa reluctantly broke the kiss. “Not here.” Lexa patted Clarke’s left butt cheek. “Remember, the surprise.”

“I thought this was the surprise,” Clarke stood up trying not to let her frustration show. Her center was pulsing, craving the release that only Lexa could provide. 

Lexa cleaned up their little picnic in a rush, jamming the cloth wrapper back in her bag and slinging the blanket over her shoulder. “Follow me.” Lexa headed upstream until they reached a craggy rock outcropping then she reached into her pack and pulled out her firemaking kit and a leather pouch. Lexa searched the ground until she found a sturdy stick then she took a torch top out of the leather pouch and started binding it to the stick. When she was satisfied that the torch was sturdy enough, she took the flint out of her fire kit and lit the torch. Clarke had watched the whole thing fascinated. But when Lexa jutted the lit torch toward the outcropping, Clarke was even more intrigued for she could see a narrow opening in the black rock wall. 

“It’s a cave?”

“It is, get your gun ready.” Lexa held the torch in her left hand and pulled her dagger out and held it in her right. “Just in case some animal has taken up residence since I was last here.”

Clarke pulled the firearm from her holster and fingered the safety. She nodded to Lexa that she was ready. 

“Luckily, we don’t have to go far.” Lexa edged into the cave. Clarke followed.

Before long, the cool crisp air from the outside world gave way to the humid interior of the cave. Clarke was confused at first because she thought caves were supposed to be dark and cool. At least that was what they had learned in Pike’s Earth Skills class. Not only was this cave rather warm but she could see light up ahead. For a second she feared that the light might be coming from other humans who might not appreciate them trespassing on what they perceived as their territory.

But then Lexa said, “We’re nearly there. See the shaft of light.”

“Yes.”

And within a few more meters, Lexa put away her dagger as the narrow pathway opened up into a spacious cavern that was dominated by a brilliant blue hot spring. The light, Clarke could now see was coming from a hole about a half-meter in diameter where the roof of the cavern had given way in some time past. Clarke put her safety back on and holstered her gun. “Lexa, this is amazing.”

“Wait til you feel it.” Lexa wasted no time taking off her riding cape and boots. Next she shed her armor and clothes. She didn’t even test the water before plunging in. She was chest deep by the time Clarke had her own clothes off. 

Clarke toed the water to test the temperature. She could see the steam rising from the pool and she understood why the cave was so hot and humid. It was warmer than the hottest showers on the Ark. Clarke stepped into the water and felt her feet sink into the muddy bottom. She looked out to where Lexa was in the middle of the pool. She realized the she didn’t know how to swim. “How deep is it?”

“This is as deep as it gets and I’m standing on flat feet.”

“Okay,” Clarke moved deeper.

“What’s the matter Skygirl? Can’t swim.”

“We didn’t really have lakes and rivers on the Ark. i know how it’s done in theory.” Clarke didn’t know why she felt so defensive. It wasn’t as if Lexa was judging her. But the hot water started working on her muscles right away and her defensive edge wafted right off her and out of the hole in the ceiling above. It was as if the space would allow no negative energy. “Oh my God, Lexa. This is heaven.”

“I’m glad you like it.” It always thrilled Lexa when Clarke appreciated something from her world. She really did want Clarke’s people to be her people. But more than that, she wanted Clarke to be hers and she wanted to be Clarke’s 

Lexa reached her hand out for Clarke to come join her in the deeper part of the pool. As Clarke made her way to Lexa, their eyes joined like two magnets that couldn’t be pulled apart. When she reached her love, Clarke gave the warrior her hand and let Lexa set the pace. Lexa started with kissing Clarke’s jawline. Clarke tilted her head back to give Lexa better access. The long blonde strands of her hair fanned out across the water. Lexa moved her mouth down Clarke’s throat and let her hand roam freely over Clarke’s chest. The hot water lapped at Clarke’s nipples with each of Lexa’s movements. She could feel her need building in her core. Clarke brought her hand up to Lexa’s thick brown hair and urged the Commander to kiss lower. Lexa looked back up at her lover and grinned. “Eager.”  
“Yes,” Clarke panted but went quiet as Lexa squeezed the fullness of Clarke’s right breast and took the hard nipple gently between her teeth. Clarke had never thought it possible to come from someone just playing with and sucking her breasts but she was about to rethink that. She needed Lexa’s fingers in her! She grabbed the long slender right hand and pushed it to her center. 

“You want me to fuck you, Clarke kom Skaikru?” Lexa cupped Clarke’s sex but didn’t glide between her slick slit. Instead, she leisurely tickled along the sensitive sides of Lexa’s vulva. 

“Lexa, please.” Clarke tried to grind against Lexa’s palm. 

“I have to draw it out, you know. You come so quickly, Clarke.”

“Lexa,” Clarke pushed herself against Lexa’s hand harder.

“Oh, very well,” Lexa slid two fingers inside Clarke’s opening and pressed the base of her palm against Clarke’s fattening clit. 

Clarke was already on the brink and it didn’t take long once she started rocking against Lexa’s motion. Lexa had to run her free arm up under Clarke’s arm to keep her from collapsing into the water with the force of her orgasm.

Clarke wasn’t sure she’d ever been as euphoric. Not only had Lexa just given her a bombass orgasm but her whole body was relaxed thanks to the steaming pool. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was Lexa’s self-satisfied grin. “Proud of yourself?” Clarke asked.

“No. Proud of you, though,” Lexa answered and she guided them out of the water and over to where she’d chucked her pack. She laid the blanket out on a smooth depression in the rock floor and pulled another fur out of her bag and added the second layer for cushioning. That was when Clarke realized the Lexa had done this before. “Lay down, I want to taste you, Clarke.”

“Uh, uh, you’re turn.” Clarke prodded Lexa to lay down. 

“It doesn’t have to be even you know. It brings me pleasure to pleasure you.” Lexa protested but laid down nonetheless. Steam still rising off of her firm body.

“Shof op, I want to make you come, Lexa. I want to make you weak for me.”

“You’ve already done that, Clarke. But, I find such strength in that weakness.” Lexa said and Clarke couldn’t resist kissing her so she laid atop her and claimed Lexa’s sweet mouth for her own. As she kissed the brunette, Clarke moved her strong thigh bone against Lexa’s hot center. She loved the feel of the soft bundle of curls rubbing against her bare skin. 

Lexa sought to ease the coiled energy that was bundled up in her clit by wrapping her thighs hard around Clarke’s thigh. 

“Uh-uh, You aren’t robbing me of my dessert.” Clarke tore her leg away and crawled down Lexa’s torso until she had her face posed at Lexa’s quim. The Commander was already seeping her clear natural lubricant and Clarke dipped her tongue into the opening to taste the sweet nectar. Then she flattened her tongue and started bathing Lexa’s sex in long hard strokes.

Clarke smiled against Lexa’s mound when she saw the Commander of the 13 clans clenching the furs in her fists as she neared her peak. Unlike Clarke, Lexa was rarely vocal when she came but sometimes the intensity of the orgasm was so strong that even Lexa cried out her release. Clarke wasn’t sure if it was simply from three days of pent up frustration but this this one of those rare occasions. “Gonna come. Fuck, Clark. So good, So hard. MMmmmmmmm, Clarke. Love you, mmmm.” 

Clarke nearly froze in her ministrations. Lexa couldn’t have said what she thought she’d said. And if she had, it didn’t count, Clarke told herself. Confessions of love during sex resulted from sensation overload, that was all. 

Clarke shoved her internal monologue aside as Lexa wailed, “I’m coming, Clarke kom Skaikru. I’m coming for you.”

Minutes later, they lay stroking each other’s arms, backs, legs, anywhere they could touch lovingly. Clarke promised herself she wouldn’t mention the confession of love. Soon, Lexa fell asleep and Clarke let her have the interlude. If there was ever anyone who deserved a respite from the constant struggles of survival, it was Lexa. 

The angle of the sun had changed while they’d made love and the bright rays were now coming in at a more slanted angle. For the first time since they’d walked into the cavern, Clarke took the time to really admire the smooth rock walls. The color gradation was stark, in some spots it turned from slate gravy to deep orange without any blending of color. Clarke knew from Earth History classes that the banding resulted from sediment deposited in different geological events but she enjoyed it more for it’s sheer beauty than the science behind it. 

Scanning the wall, Clarke noticed the patterns of lichen that grew along the rocks. Then her eyes landed on what she at first thought was a cave painting but when she really focused on it she realized that it was initials etched in the wall and filled in with ash or kohl. The letters read L + C. And Clarke knew that without a doubt Lexa had been here before. That she’d used the cave for similar purposes. Clarke wondered if Lexa had whispered confessions of love to Costia as she made love to her in the cave. 

Clarke looked back to Lexa and was surprised to find that the Commander had awoken and was staring at her. Clarke jutted her chin out proudly. Her mind silently screamed at her that Costia was Lexa’s past. She was Lexa’s future.

Lexa with that knack for knowing what Clarke was thinking said, “The fact that I’ve been here with Costia doesn’t make what we just shared less special, Clarke.”

“I know that,” Clarke answered but a knot formed in her throat anyway. 

“We need to get back. We haven’t much sun left.” 

Clarke worked to help Lexa pack everything up. They moved together effortlessly and silently. When everything was ready to go, Lexa took Clarke over to the wall and handed the blonde her dagger. “Do ours.”

“Lexa. You don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to.”

Clarke smiled faintly and started chiseling their initials into the stone. When she had the grooves fairly deep, she stepped back. L + CG. Lexa smiled and took the charred tip of the torch and stained the letters black. 

Clarke admired their handy work then planted a kiss on Lexa’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“No, Clarke. Thank you. I cared for Cosita, I did. But it wasn’t this. Now, let’s get back to camp before they send riders.”

Clarke nodded then waited for Lexa to relight the torch. They walked hand and hand out of the cave.


	5. Candle Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke make it to the city of Dalice on their way to SanFe. Clarke meets Lexa's favorite chandler.

Candle Magic

It had been two days since their little jaunt to the hot spring cavern and Clarke was beginning to think they were never going to make it to SanKru lands. The lush green landscape of the mountains and foothills had given way first to rolling fields and then to flat prairie lands. As they hit the road at dawn, Clarke had noticed an appreciable difference in the air. It was warmer and dryer, which she guessed meant that they weren't too far away from the desert environs that SanKru called home. Her sore bottom and tired thighs would be glad for the respite from all the horseback riding that a month in the SanKru capital promised.

With that knack she had for reading Clarke's mind, Lexa leaned toward the blonde and said, "you'll be happy to know that today will be a short day."

"Oh, we reach SanFe today?" Clarke asked hopefully.

Lexa grinned. "No, the SanKru capital is deep within their territory but we will cross the border into their lands in two days. We will be stopping early today to replenish supplies at Dalice. It's not quite as big as Polis but it's got a large marketplace. As Commander, I can't come into SanKru lands without appropriate gifts."

"I see."

"I think you'll enjoy the Commander's chambers in Dalice, Clarke. We will have some time tonight." Lexa's green eyes glimmered with anticipation.

Clarke's sore bottom was forgotten as a new ache rolled through her belly and settled in her center. How could anyone have such an immediate and powerful effect on her? Lexa had bewitched her. And, she was loving every minute of it!

The sun was still high in the sky when the Dalice skyline came into sight. Unlike Polis' single tower, Four burned-out buildings dominated the landscape. 

Clarke gasped.

"None of them are habitable. They look spectacular but they aren't structurally sound. There were seven towers the year I became Heda. The other three have since collapsed."

"Wow, I hope no one was hurt."

The comment was of the kind that Lexa had come to expect from Clarke and it reminded her of Clarke's essential goodness and what she admired most about the woman. "Sadly, that wasn't the case."

At Clarke's frown she added. "Two were lost. Most people know to stay away from that district but scavengers are always looking for something to sell. The area is legally off limits but when you're hungry, you're hungry."

Clarke nodded. She'd known hunger and was even more sorry that the people had died in such a horrific way. "So, the marketplace we are going to?"

"Is a couple of miles away from the old city center. You're going to love it."

"Heda!" One of the advance scouts came riding in with a group of Trikru folks native to Dalice. Since the city was in the farthest reaches of Trikru lands, they rarely got to see their Commander.

Clarke saw Lexa’s spine stiffen as she looked over the cadre of riders. The brunette’s jaw went rigid and her nostrils flared with a deep intake of breath. She was clearly preparing herself for something unpleasant. 

“Lexa?”

“Ste put,” Lexa barked in full Heda mode. Without another word or glance at Clarke, Lexa slid off of her horse and took a small clay jar out of her bag. 

In the time that it took Lexa to dismount and retrieve the jar, the riders had nearly reached them. Clarke kept her eyes trained on Lexa who walked out to close the distance that remained between the riders and the Commander’s entourage. Only a single rider from the the Dalice Trikru meeting party slid from her mount. Clarke guessed the woman to be about her own mother, Abby’s, age. It was hard to tell from the ten meters that separated them. But the long grey streak that dominated her otherwise jet black hair and her noticeable paunch led Clarke to believe the woman was nearing middle age. 

Something was wrong with Lexa. Apprehension tore through Clarke’s gut. Even from this distance, Clarke could see that her lover was trembling. Clarke looked around at the other’s in the Commander’s train. She knew the Grounders loathed any sign of weakness and she feared that they would turn on Lexa. 

Clarke turned her attention back to Lexa in time to see Lexa extend the clay jar to the black haired women. People around Clarke murmured but she couldn’t really hear what they were saying. She felt like everyone understood what was happening except her. 

Instead of taking the jar that Lexa offered her, the woman drew back her open hand and slapped Lexa hard across the face. Clarke knew that the woman had just signed her own death warrant. But Lexa didn’t retaliate. And when one of Heda’s personal guards reached for his blade. Lexa threw up her hand. “Nou!”

When the warrior backed off, Lexa took the jar over to where an older gentleman sat atop a grey horse. 

“I’m sorry, Ahmin. Teik emo, beja. Em ste yun.” Clarke could barely follow the conversation from that distance but it was then that she realized that the jar was an urn and that it contained ashes.

The man took the urn and Clarke could see that it pained him to do so. 

“Yu don frag em op,” The woman wailed but she didn’t attack Lexa again. So the woman thought that Lexa was responsible for the death of the person whose remains she was returning? But returning to who? The parents, most likely. 

“Sha,” Lexa confirmed that she had killed the person.

“Em don hodnes yu.” The woman screamed. She loved you, Clarke translated quickly.

“Costia don hodnes yu!” The woman cried. 

Lexa turned to face the woman. She moved her mouth as if to say something but the words wouldn’t come. She couldn’t refute the woman’s words. Lexa herself believed that Costia’s death was her fault, her eternal burden to bear. 

When she didn’t respond. The woman spat on the ground, “Ai curse yu, Leksa kom Trikru.”

There were several sharp intakes of breath near Clarke. It was complete disrespect for the woman to call Lexa by her birth name instead of Heda. 

“Leidon, Mora,” Lexa walked past the distraught woman and returned to her horse. All eyes were on Heda. Lexa raised her hand in the air and motioned forward. She trotted out in front of the pack, only Clarke riding beside her could see the tears that trickled down her face. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Lexa had been right. Clarke had loved the marketplace. It was bustling just like the marketplace in Polis but so many of the wares and foods were different than the things that Clarke had come to associate with the Grounders. The meat here was more savory and more abundant. The pottery more smooth. The baskets woven more tightly. And the dyed fabrics were more vibrant. Clarke had a feeling that most of the finer things in the Commander’s chambers back in Polis had come from Dalice. 

Clarke’s assumptions were confirmed when Lexa led her into the chandler’s storefront. Clarke could smell the rich aromas wafting into the street before Lexa even pushed open the door. Clarke had thought she’d seen candles before but she couldn’t even count the pillars, votives, and tapers that filled five rows. 

“Heda,” a portly woman struggled to rise from her chair.

“You may keep your seat, Garland. My friend and I will take a look around. Do you have the order ready that I sent ahead for?”

“Of course, Heda. The finest sandalwood soaps, patchouli oils, and five hundred pillar candles for Sankru. And, an additional thousand candles for your personal stock.” The woman nodded proudly.

“Thank you, Garland.” Lexa turned from the older woman and guided Clarke buy her elbow to the other side of the store. “Clarke, pick you out any of these soaps and oils. Also, if you want some candles for your quarters when we get back to Polis.”

“Won’t we be coming back through here. I hate to carry them all the way to SanFe and then back.”

“No, when we live SanFe, we will be moving North for a stretch before we turn back eastward. You should get them now. Nobody makes better candles than Garland. Take a look around, I’ll be right back.”

Clarke couldn’t resist picking up a couple of soaps and testing their scent. She found two that she really liked but couldn’t place the fragrances used. She thought one might be lilac but she couldn’t say for sure. She was going to ask Garland but Lexa was talking to the saleswoman and Clarke thought it would be rude to interrupt. Especially since Lexa was whispering. 

Clarke tried not to stare and turned her attention back to the wares. She noticed a basket of cute little bags of bath salts that were tied with colorful pieces of ribbon. Clarke reached into the basket and pulled out one with a green ribbon. The color reminded her of Lexa’s eyes. Clarke sniffed the contents and decided that she definitely wanted the bath salts. She turned to tell Lexa as much but Lexa was following Garland behind a heavy curtain into the back of the shop. Clarke considered following but knew that if Lexa had wanted her to come along, she would’ve invited her. So, she turned her attention to the candles. 

Lexa and Garland weren’t gone for long and when they returned, Clarke saw Lexa palm something to the heavy woman. Clarke knew that Lexa wasn’t a drug addict but something about the whole ordeal felt off to her. When Lexa came up to her, Clarke asked, “what was that about?”

“What?”

“You just handed her something.”

“It’s nothing Clarke. Did you look in there?” Lexa pointed to a room that branched off from the main store space. “Watch your step.”

Clarke stepped carefully over the lip in the floor that separated the two rooms. Clarke’s eyes went wide at the array of paints and dyes. “Oh, Lexa.”

“Get anything you want, Clarke.”

“It wouldn’t be right for me to let the Commander buy the Skaikru ambassador a gift that didn’t benefit all of Skaikru.”

“I wasn’t offering as your Commander, Clarke. I was offering as your. . . your girlfriend.” Clarke could tell that the word didn’t roll off of Lexa’s tongue very easily. The word lover came to her more easily. But Clarke didn’t like that phrase because she thought if only addressed the sexual aspect of their relationship. So even though it didn’t come naturally to her, Lexa made an effort to say girlfriend. 

“Well, in that case,” Clarke smiled as she started picking out paints. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The Commander’s suite was smaller than Lexa’s room in Polis. Clarke guessed that that was because Heda rarely visited the city. Still, it was as finely decorated, if not as posh, as Lexa’s quarters in the capital. There was one large black sofa and an ebony black coffee table. A silver vase holding perfect white roses sat in the center of the table. The sleigh bed was made of the same black wood as the coffee table. The mattresses were much thicker than the ones in Polis and the furs that topped the bed were impossibly white. 

Clarke was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to plop down on the bed but knew how filthy her road-dirty clothes would get the beautiful bedding. “I need a bath.”

“The bathroom is in there. I’ve already ordered it to be ready.” Lexa thumbed to the door that led into the bathing suite. 

And what a suite it was? All black marble except for the massive white clawfoot tub. Next to the tub was a pot bellied stove. There was already a fire roaring inside it. Clarke could smell the burning wood and see steam rising off of the pots of water that sat atop the stove. Several more buckets were lined up next to the black iron stove. 

“Oh Lexa, a hot bath?”

“Aren’t you glad you got those bath salts,” Lexa grinned as she started stripping. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

After their shared bath, they enjoyed a light fare of bread and brisket. Lexa sat their empty plates in the hallway just outside of her door and tied a black ribbon on the doorknob, indicating that the Commander shouldn’t be disturbed. 

When Lexa closed the door, she stood with her back against it and just looked at Clarke. With her blonde hair damp from their bath, she looked ridiculously fuckable. Lexa knew that they wouldn’t have another night like this until they reached SanFe. She was going to enjoy it. She entwined her fingers and brought them up to her mouth. She bit the loose skin on the knuckle of her index finger as she thought of all the delicious things she was about to do to Clarke. 

Clarke looked up to see Lexa feasting on her visually. “See something you like?”

“Mmmmm,” Lexa hummed. 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” Clarke faked a yawn and stretched dramatically.

“Oh no you don’t Skaigirl.” Lexa stalked over to the sofa where they had enjoyed dinner and where Clarke was now lounging. 

“Didn’t you get enough in the tub?” Clarke cocked an eyebrow.

“That was just kissing and heavy petting. I have a bigger appetite than that.” Lexa involuntarily wet her lips. 

“But you just ate, you couldn’t possibly still be hungry,” Clarke let her knees fall apart revealing her blonde curls and just a hint of pink flesh. 

“Long trip, I may have to eat and eat and eat until I recover.” Lexa sat between Clarke’s legs and lifted one of Clarke’s ankles up to her face and nibbled at the round bone.  
The sensation of Lexa’s hot mouth on her skin and the feel of Lexa’s hand sliding up her thigh kicked Clarke into overdrive. Her center throbbed as her vulva swelled and readied itself for her lover. Lexa worked her lips up Clarke’s calf but her right hand had found Clarke’s wet opening. She slid her middle finger deep into Clarke and curled it like a hook. Clarke’s whole body jerked at the sensation of having her g-spot tickled. 

“My god, yes,” Clarke panted. 

Lexa’s journey up Clarke’s leg had reached its midway point and the brunette french kissed Clarke’s knee while she continued to toy with Clarke’s insides. 

“God, I’m so close, already,” Clarke whimpered.

Lexa pulled her finger from Clarke’s folds. Clarke started to protest until she felt Heda’s mouth moving up her thighs.

Lexa laved the sides of Clarke’s pussy then spread her tiny lips and licked gently along each of them. 

“So sweet,” Lexa breathed against Clarke’s flesh. And it was, Lexa could still taste the bath water and the floral bath salts that they’d used in the tub. The mixture of the sweet gardenia with Clarke’s own natural scent was the most erotic thing Lexa had ever smelled and she could feel her own body respond as she closed her mouth fully over Clarke’s lips. The soft curls of the golden mound tickled at her nose as she slid her chin up Clarke’s wetness and settled it on her clit. 

Clarke grabbed at Lexa’s hair and grinded hard against Lexa’s face as she breathed out Lexa’s name repeatedly before she collapsed against the couch. 

“I’m not finished with you,” Lexa purred as she stood and dropped her own robe. Lexa pulled Clarke’s leg out and bent her knee so that her left foot sat firmly on the floor. She then straddled Clarke’s leg bone and started rubbing herself up and down Clarke’s thigh. Clarke could feel Lexa’s oil glossing up her leg and she thought she might come again just at the thought that Lexa was pleasuring herself in such a way. Clarke lifted her foot up on her tippy toes, changing the angle of her knee. Lexa nodded a couple of times before her face relaxed in complete ecstasy

“That was so fucking hot, Lexa.” 

“I’m still not done with you. Get in the bed.”

Clarke rose from the sofa leaving her robe behind. She looked over her shoulder at Lexa as she walked to the bed. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Oh yes, I was just enjoying the view.”

Clarke climbed onto the bed. “How do you want me, Commander?”

“On your belly, with your sweet ass in the air.” Lexa answered. 

As Lexa made her way to the bed, Clarke assumed the requested position.  
“Clarke?” Lexa’s voice grew soft.

She turned to look at Lexa, she knew when Lexa’s voice dropped like that that she was either concerned or was going to ask her something important. 

“Yes?”

“Have you ever played with candle wax? Lexa asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you trust me?” 

“With my life,” Clarke answered.

“Then be still. I’m going to try something. If you hate it just say stop, okay?”

Clarke nodded and watched as Lexa reached into her travel bag and pulled out a long white tapered candle. She lit it off of one of the candles that was already burning on the nightstand. Lexa brought the burning candle into the bed and held it over Clarke’s back. Clarke jerked as the first molten drop splattered across her lower back. It stung but Clarke decided that she actually liked the sensation. 

“Should I continue?” Lexa asked.

“Yes,” Clarke agreed. 

Lexa tilted the candle and let the dripping wax form a trail from Clarke’s ass cheek to her shoulder blade. Lexa pulled the wax from Clarke’s over-sensitive skin and then licked along the red line that it had created. Clarke couldn’t believe how excited she was becoming. She pushed herself back against Lexa. 

“Roll over, Clarke,” 

The furs felt impossibly soft against her raw back. She only had a moment to revel in the feeling before she felt the wax dripping across her belly and into her navel. 

“You’re so fucking sexy, Clarke. I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you.”

“I want you too, Lexa. More than anything.” 

Lexa smiled and brought the candle down close to Clarke’s breast letting the clear wax pour over the perfect mounds. Satisfied with her work of art, Lexa sat the candle in a holder and went to work pulling the wax from Clarke’s torso using her mouth. The whole time Lexa worked to clean the wax, Clarke tried pushing against Lexa’s leg to relieve the tension in her center. But Lexa was having none of it. She had other plans for Clarke. 

Lexa stood up and rifled through the bag again. “I got you something else at Garland’s.”

“Lexa, you have to stop with the gifts.” Clarke could hear Titus’s earlier warning ringing in her ears.  


“Ai laik Heda, I can do what I want. Besides, no one will know about this one save you and me.”

"And Garland,” Clarke added.

“Well yes, but I trust her.”

“Okay. What is it?” Clarke gave in.

Lexa pulled out another candle but this one was shaped like a phallus. It was about seven inches long and thick. Clarke blinked at the size.

“I’ll go easy with you,” Lexa could see that Clarke was intimidated by the cock.

Clarke swallowed and then nodded.”As long as you don’t light that one.”

“It doesn’t have a wick.” Lexa grinned. 

“Good,” Clarke spread her legs letting Lexa get situated between them. 

Lexa reached down and tested Clarke’s wetness. She spit on the head of the wax cock, a little extra never hurt. “Just relax, It’s a little hard at first but as the wax warms from your body temperature it really glides well.”

“You’ve fucked someone like this before,” Clarke wished she could’ve taken it back as soon as she said it because Lexa got a faraway look in her eye and Clarke knew that Lexa was remembering another time she’d done this to a woman. Likely Costia. 

Lexa shook away the memories and pushed Clarke’s thighs wider apart. “Shof op, Wanheda. I’m gonna fuck you now.” 

Clarke felt the press of the wax head between her lips. It was big. Bigger than any boy she’d ever had, and bigger than any toy she’d ever played with. Still the stretch was more pleasant than painful. Lexa pushed the cock in halfway and then let Clarke adjust to the girth.

After a minute, Clarke realized that Lexa had been right. The wax had warmed and had become more pliant. She squeezed her walls against the shaft then started wriggling her hips. “Fuck me, Lexa.”

“You like it.?”

“I fucking love it, Now fuck me.”

“Can you come and suck at the same time, Clarke?” Lexa asked as she turned her body and straddled Clarke’s torso, setting her swollen lips on Clarke’s face. 

Lexa felt Clarke’s tongue go straight to work on her as she started pumping Clarke with the wax cock.  
Before long, Lexa put her own tongue to work on Clarke’s clit. It didn’t take Clarke long to find her release, squirting so hard that the wax cock slipped out of her. Lexa tossed the dildo aside and let herself fully enjoy Clarke feasting on her pussy. A few more tugs at her clit with Clarke’s lips and Lexa emptied her own juices on Clarke’s dimpled chin. 

Clarke pulled Lexa up into her arms and into a deep kiss. She could taste herself on Lexa and the sensations and her emotions got the best of her. She started crying.

“Is everything okay, Clarke? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Lexa was mortified at the thought.

“No, no, it isn’t that. It’s just. Lexa. Lexa, I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you, ever. My people are still important to me but I love you more.. I’d lay down my life for you.”

Lexa couldn’t breathe. What had she done? Of course she loved Clarke. Of course she felt all of those same things but those were luxuries Heda couldn’t have. Worse. Those feelings could get Clarke killed. Costia had already laid her life down for Lexa. She couldn’t let history repeat itself. “Shhh, go to sleep, Clarke. Hush now.” Lexa soothed Clarke and stroked her blonde hair until the Skaigirl faded off to sleep.


	6. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can their budding love weather the storm?

Clarke was having the dream again. It wasn’t really a dream. It was a memory but masked in sleep, it was still a dream. No, not a dream. A nightmare. And one she knew she’d relive for the rest of her life. Her mom holding her back, her father being escorted to the airlock. Clarke thrashed against the white furs. She’d tossed and turned so much on the bed that she’d managed to scoot so far down that her feet bumped against the sleigh footboard. She wasn’t on the Ark her waking brain coddled her subconscious. She hadn’t been on the Ark for some time now. No, she was on Earth. She was in Dalice. She was with Lexa. And even though the loss of her father would haunt her forever, Lexa was the balm that soothed all other pains. With her, she could get through anything. 

Clarke reached to the other side of the bed. She found empty furs. Clarke stretched her arms out, forcing her joints awake. She opened her eyes and looked across to the seating area. Lexa wasn’t there. Clarke crawled out of the bed and when her feet hit the floor her left foot rolled over the dildo shaped candle. She smiled at the reminder. Not that she needed a reminder. Her sore center was enough to keep the memory of Lexa stretching her with the wax toy fresh in her mind. But where was Lexa? She needed her right now. She needed to hold her, to touch her. She needed to feel the woman’s love. It was the only thing that was going to push the dark images from the dream out of her mind. 

Clarke tried the bathroom. No Lexa. She tried to remember if Lexa had said anything about any kind of official meeting or other matters of business that Heda needed to attend. The only thing she could recall was Lexa saying they would need to get a pretty early start if they were going to make Sankru lands in two days. But it didn’t feel early. The were no shadows cast across the floor by the early morning sun. Clarke looked out the bathroom window. It wasn’t quite noon but it wasn’t far from it either. Something was wrong. Something had happened. But as Skaikru ambassador why hadn’t Lexa awoke her and let her in on the crisis. 

Hurrying back into the bedroom, Clarke looked around the room for her clothes. She found them on the couch folded neatly, her bra on top. She quickly snapped it on and grabbed her shirt. A piece of paper had been wedged between her top and her pants. It fell to the ground. A note from Lexa, Clarke couldn’t help but to smile at how Heda had written her a secret message and then hidden it where she knew Clarke would be sure to find it. Her heart surged. And then it stopped. 

Clarke,

I’ve arranged for you to return to the Ark. You’ve served your people well and I trust once you are back with them, you will find that you may be even more useful to them. I will send word to Polis that Monty is to stay on as ambassador until your council can vote on a permanent replacement for you. I’ve never really understood your people’s need to include so many people on such decisions but it is your way and I will respect that. I’ve left guards, two of my finest gonas, to escort you back to Arkadia. 

May you never have to lay down your life for me,  
Lexa

Clarke could hear her blood swishing through her ears. Her face was on fire. Her lungs didn’t work. This couldn’t be happening. Lexa was dismissing her. Like she was nothing. Like what they’d had was nothing. 

Clarke replayed the previous evening in her head. She’d gone too far. Her confession of love had been too much for Lexa. No, not her confession of love but her confession of how deep her love ran. It had reminded her of Costia. And she’d already had to deal with the pain of Costia’s death that morning. Clarke had been careless. She hadn’t been thinking of Lexa’s feelings. Lexa never even talked to her about what had transpired between her and Costia’s mother as they rode into Dalice. Of course Lexa had been too raw for Clarke to have promised to lay down her life for their love. How reckless? How stupid? 

It took her less than two minutes to get the rest of her clothes on and get her pack together. She had to find Lexa. She had to fix this. Clarke burst through the doors into the hallway to find the two gonas that Lexa had mentioned in her goodbye letter waiting patiently for her. 

“Good morning, Jeffers right?” Clarke recognized one of the gonas. He often stood guard during Grounder Council meetings. 

“Wanheda,” he bowed. 

“How long has Le- - Heda been gone?”

“They left at sunrise, Wanheda.”

“How long will it take us to catch them?” Clarke wasn’t as skilled on a horse as the two gonas but she thought surely that with it being only the three of them that they could catch up with Lexa’s entourage rather quickly.

“Catch them?” Jeffers looked uncomfortably to the gona at his left.

“Yes, I’m not going back to Arkadia.”

“Sorry Wanheda, we have strict orders,” Jeffers answered and he and the other massive warrior stood more erectly as if daring her to challenge Heda’s orders. 

“Right,” Clarke wasn’t sure how she was going to get away from them but she knew she had to and fast. The longer it took, the farther west Lexa moved. “Let’s go, then.” Clarke slung her backpack over her shoulder and feigned cooperation. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞  
Lexa rode at the head of the pack alone. She caught herself looking to her right a couple of times at the empty space but she shook off the regret. It was for the best. She had to protect Clarke and she couldn’t do that as her lover. If another challenger like Nia rose against her, Clarke would become a target. Losing Costia had been devastating. Losing Clarke would be her undoing. Titus had been right all along, love really was weakness. She’d been a fool to entertain the thought that she and Clarke could live openly and freely without fear of repercussions. Seeing Costia’s parents, Ahmin and Mora had only reminded Lexa off the truth she’d been suppressing. Hearing Clarke vow to give up her life for her was the torch that lit the funeral pyre of their affair. 

Rolling thunder in the distance brought Lexa out of her reverie. She’d be surprised if they got a full day’s ride in. The sky was darkening along the western horizon and it was only midday. She squeezed her thighs against the horse’s side urging him to go faster. Lexa knew it would make it more difficult for those on foot to keep pace but it couldn’t be helped. She needed to stay on schedule, she told herself. But her breaking heart taunted her by whispering to her brain that the real reason for her hurry was to put as much distance between her and her Skaigirl as she could. 

First things first, she had to stop thinking of Clarke as hers. Clarke was Skaikru’s, she was Abby’s, she’d been Finn’s and maybe once she settled back into Arkadia, she’d fall into being Bellamy’s. He certainly wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings for her. Lexa’s gut twisted at the thought of Clarke with the angry boy. No, Clarke was too smart for that. But she’d find someone. Eventually. She’d move on from Lexa. It was for the best. Lexa would only bring her pain and possibly death. To be Commander is to be alone. Love is weakness. Lexa repeated the mantra in her head while memories of Skaiblue eyes tormented her soul. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Jeffers and the other gona, who Clarke learned was called Arli, led Clarke to where three horses were loaded and waiting for the long journey back to Arkadia. Clarke knew if she mounted the horse and headed east that she would lose precious time. She considered jumping on the horse and trying to outrun them but she knew that there was no way she was going to be able to outride two of Lexa’s most experienced gonas. She wasn’t sure how exactly she was going to give them the slip but she had to think of something. Her eyes roamed over the marketplace looking for any opportunity. It was as good a place as any to try to make her escape. Maybe she could create some sort of diversion and just slip away from them. But that would require an accomplice. And that was something she didn’t have. 

Clarke turned thoughtlessly and slammed into a small woman knocking her basket of wild onions to the ground. The pungent odor caused Clarke’s nose to crinkle but she hurried to help the woman pick them up. Clarke looked at the woman and offered an apologetic smile which quickly turned to to a frown as she recognized the woman from her earlier altercation with Lexa. It was Costia’s mother, what had Lexa called her? Mora!.

“Sorry,” Clarke called and then remembered that the Grounders this far west had had little dealings with Skaipeople. And even though they probably knew some gonasleng enough to know what Clarke was saying, Clarke apologized in trigedasleng as well, “Moba.”

“Yu,” Mora answered. She clearly recognized Clarke from Lexa’s entourage. “Heda’s new plei gada.”

Anger flushed Clarke’s face. She wasn’t just some romp that Lexa was fooling around with. A toy to be discarded. Or was she? Was that what had happened? Had Lexa tired of her the moment things took a serious turn? Doubt gripped her. 

Clarke wanted to tell Mora she was wrong. That she and Lexa loved each other. She wanted to tell her she was sorry for the loss of her daughter. But she didn’t have a chance to say any of those things. Mora grabbed her basket and vegetables and left. 

The two gonas eyed Clarke with pity, which she hated. Did everyone see her as Lexa’s plaything? Would everyone think that Lexa cast her aside? That she hadn’t been enough to keep Heda’s affection? Maybe she should just go back to Arkadia. These people were never going to accept her as one of them. Maybe Bellamy and Pike had been right after all. Maybe peace with the Grounders just wasn’t possible. But Lexa had told her that she had her heart. And Clarke knew that Lexa hadn’t been lying. Lexa had let her penetrate her in a way that she’d never let anyone else own her. Lexa was hers. And whether Heda liked it or not, Clarke was coming for her. She wasn’t giving up on true love, not without one hell of a gonplei. “Oso gonplei nou ste odon,” Clarke whispered as she stood up. 

“Jeffers, I want to pick up some things to take back to Arkadia. I’ll just be a minute, I’m going to the chandlers.” Clarke pointed to Garland’s shop.

Jeffers nodded and he and Arli made to follow her. Clarke rolled her eyes. Great, they were going to follow her into the shop! How was she going to give these gonas the slip?

“Welcome,” Garland greeted as they walked through the door. She looked past Clarke and the gonas expecting to see Lexa. The disappointment was evident on her face when she realized that Heda had not honored her a second day. 

“Heya, Garland,” Clarke smiled as she walked up to the table that served as a checkout counter. “You sold Heda something special yesterday?”

“Sha,” Garland grinned. She knew this girl had been the reason for Heda buying the wax dildo. It was obvious that Heda was crazy about the blonde beauty. Garland was happy to see Lexa happy again. It had been too long.

“Could you show me some more of those? Alone?” Clarke rolled her eyes back at the gonas.  
“Sha, let’s go in the back.” Garland pushed back the curtain and the gonas tentatively made to follow. “Ste put. Gada only.”

The warriors looked down, embarrassed. They stopped in their tracks. Most of them knew the rumors about the special items that could be bought in the back of Garland’s store. Clarke thought they actually looked a little relieved that Garland had prohibited them from following. 

When the curtain fell behind them, Garland whispered. “So, do you want to tell me what this is really about? Where’s Heda?”

Clarke didn’t know if she could trust the woman. She knew that most of the Grounders were severely loyal to Lexa. And, if Lexa had sent her packing what was to say that Garland wouldn’t think that that was entirely Lexa’s prerogative? But there was something in the weight of Garland’s stare, that told Clarke that she could trust this woman. 

“I need to get away from these gonas.”

“Why?” Suspicion danced in Garland’s grey eyes for the first time. Why would the Skaigirl need to evade Heda’s trusted warriors. 

“The truth?”

“It generally serves the best, Clarke.”

How did this woman know her name? She’d likely heard Lexa say it when they were in the shop yesterday. 

“The truth is, Lexa has sent me back to Arkadia but I don’t want to go. I want to be with her and I need to get away from these warriors so that I can head west and find her.”

Garland hung her head and shook it doubtfully. “They’ll follow you and catch you before you find her. Did you have a disagreement?”

“Sort of.”

“Over what?”

“I might have told her that I love her and that I would die for her.”

“I see,” Garland chuckled.

“I don’t know why I am telling you this,” Clarke blurted.

“You can trust me, Clarke kom Skaikru. I only want what is best for my granyongen.”

“Wait, what? Lexa is your granddaughter? Does she know?”

“She is. She knows but we weren’t allowed to raise her so it doesn’t have the same feeling for her as it does me. She’ll always be that baby I held in swaddling and taught alongside her nomon to walk. I’ve watched her as close as distance would allow me all these years. And I’ll tell you something. I’ve never seen her look at another human being the way she looks at you Skaigirl. Don’t let her lose her heart. Titus has got her so turned against who she is she can’t think right. I’ll take care of these gonas. You leave through here.” Garland cracked open the back door to her shop. “And hurry. I’d wager that she’s already regretting sending you away.”

Clarke couldn’t help herself. She threw her arms around the heavy woman. “Mochof, Garland. I won’t forget this.”

“Just love my Lexa. Give her the family that she’s always deserved. Now go.” Garland squeezed Clarke before letting her loose.

Clarke didn’t wait another second. She ran out the door and across the marketplace, straight for her horse. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The steed was fast. And Clarke rode the horse harder than she’d ever dared before. Lexa’s trail wasn’t hard to find or follow. She just took the road that headed westward out of town and from there the numerous footprints, hoofprints, and deep wagon tracks of Lexa’s traveling party served as her guide. Although she checked occasionally over her shoulder to see if Jeffers and Arli were on her tail, for the most part, she kept her head forward and pushed the horse onward. 

Clarke knew that she would come upon the rear guard before she reached the main party. And that was the biggest kink left in her plan. Had Lexa given them orders that she was not allowed back into group? Would they arrest her on sight? Would they take her back to Arkadia without her ever getting a chance to see Lexa? Various scenarios played in Clarke’s head, none of them great. Well, except the fantasy scenario where she waltzed into camp and Lexa was so happy to see her that she threw her arms around her and confessed her undying love. Yeah, that was not going to happen! Clarke knew that Lexa was going to be furious with her. She knew that Heda would likely even punish her, but Clarke wasn’t giving up on them without a fight. 

The first indication that she was getting closer was fresher, stronger smelling horse dung. At least Clarke hoped that was a sign she was getting closer. She had excelled in earth skills but honestly they hadn’t covered horses. No one on the Ark had expected there to be survivors on the ground much less, survivors with horses. The cloud cover had also blocked out the sun. So, Clarke couldn’t be certain that the scat didn’t just look fresher because the sun wasn’t drying it out. Still, she thought it might be best to try go off-road to avoid the rear-guard. The problem was that there wasn’t a lot of tree cover west of Dalice. The landscape wasn’t exactly bare open land but the stands of tall pine, cypress, and birch that made up Trikru lands were starting to give way to desert willow and shorter shrubbery. Clarke found a rise to south and wondered if she scaled to the top if she would be able to see how far ahead of her Lexa’s party had gotten. Deciding that it was worth a shot, Clarke prodded the horse southward. 

When she neared the crest, Clarke dismounted and climbed the last ten meters on foot. Her efforts had been rewarded. She could see the rear guard. Six riders who were less than two kilometers away. She had been right to have gone of the trail when she did. But a new problem presented itself. Beyond the rise, there were more low mountains with no tree cover. They were dotted only with desert sage and scrub brush. And making matters even worse, Clarke could see that the clouds to the west threatened a serious storm. They were a sickly green color and occasionally bursts of lightning ran horizontally across them. She had no tent, no cover. She’d recklessly left those things with Jeffers’ pack when she hurried out of Dalice. If she didn’t catch up to Lexa’s camp, she was going to be caught in the storm without shelter. Clarke wasn’t sure how far south she’d have to ride to outflank the rear guard. Worse, what if Lexa’s party had turned north? Then she’d lose valuable time. 

Clarke considered given herself up to the rear guard. She could plead the storm and maybe they would take her to Lexa rather than back to Arkadia. No, she knew Lexa’s gonas would never obey a direct order from Heda even if it meant they’d be stuck in the storm with her. Clarke looked back eastward. Surely, Jeffers and Arli were closing in on her, by now. Garland would only have been able to hold them off for so long. She hoped they didn’t punish her for her involvement in Clarke’s escape. Garland seemed resourceful enough which allowed Clarke to push that worry aside. Still, she’d never forgive herself if Lexa’s grandmother got hurt while helping her. 

Lexa! 

All this could have been prevented if Lexa had just talked to her instead of closing herself off! Clarke couldn’t wait to give the woman an earful. 

She turned her blue eyes back to the westward horizon and blinked twice! Smoke! There was smoke in the distance! Lexa had apparently been concerned about the inclement weather too! She’d ordered them to make camp early to prepare for the storm! Clarke guessed the smoke to be between five and ten kilometers to the southwest. She also guessed that the road must turn southward somewhere in the low mountain range. She whistled for the horse who’d taking to grazing on the scant grass that grew up the side of the mountain. 

Clarke rode in a southward until she was sure she was out of the rear guard’s line of sight. She kept her eyes trained on the smoke in the distance which had grown thicker as more campfires had been lit. Clarke was losing daylight, both because it was getting late in the day and because the clouds were quickly encroaching. 

But she was glad for the cover of darkness when she neared camp. She knew the setup of the defense perimeter which helped her immensely. She needed a diversion to get to Lexa’s tent before anyone saw her. She decided to use the horse to her advantage. She hoped that being this close to camp, the horse would recognize the smells, sights, and sounds of home. So, she pulled her backpack from his back and strapped it on her own and patted his haunches. 

The horse made a beeline to the area where Lexa’s and the other horses were staged just outside of camp. Clarke hurried in the other direction. The horse’s surprise arrival out of the middle of nowhere, shocked everyone and many flocked to it. Some shouting, “Heda!”

Clarke kept low as she moved through the brambles and the scrub. But she popped up when she caught the sight of Lexa’s long coat billowing behind her as Heda marched out to see what all the confusion was about. With everyone’s attention averted, Clarke sprinted to the Commander’s tent and ducked in unseen. And waited for the storm she knows is coming!

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

She didn’t have to wait long. A flash of lightning outside was joined by a crash of thunder and rain pelted the tent like a torrent of tiny missiles. There was a loud clamour outside as people rushed to find there way to their various shelters. Before long, Lexa’s tent flaps opened and the Commander of the Thirteen Clans stopped abruptly as she realized that someone has usurped her throne chair. 

Clarke sat calmly in the chair with one leg crossed over the other. She knew she was dusty and dirty from crawling around along the desert floor to avoid being detected by Lexa’s gonas. Lexa looked less surprised at her presence than Clarke was hoping for. Clarke opened her mouth to speak but Lexa beat her to it.

“Ambassador. Is this a coup? You’ve seen how I deal with challenges to my throne.” Lexa’s hand rested on the hilt of her dagger none too subtly.

Clarke smiled because she knew it was an empty threat.

“You knew I was here?” Clarke held Lexa’s eyes with her own.

“The horse. I knew it was one I sent with Jeffers for it’s speed.”

“Of course.”

“Did you kill my gonas, Wanheda?” 

Clarke winced at the use of the deadly name. “I’m not a murderer.”

“No, but you are a survivor, Clarke kom Skaikru. How did you get away?” 

“I had help.”

“I’ll see that they are severely punished, as are Jeffers and Arli for failing to carry out my orders. Can’t even control a mere Skaigirl.”

“Oh, and you think you can?” Clarke taunted.

Lexa stalked forward. “Get out of my throne, Clarke.”

“As you wish,” Clarke stood and moved aside so that Lexa could sit. 

“Well, you’ve come all this way,” Lexa said coldly as she tried to be indifferent to the fact that Clarke wanted her so badly that she would slip away from two of her most trusted warriors, trek over hell’s half acre and hunt her down. “Plead your case.” 

“My case? Am I being charged, Heda? And if so, what is my crime?”

“Treason. You’ve disobey a direct order and worked against the will of the Commander, Ambassador.”

“Ahh, but I am not ambassador anymore, I have the letter to prove it.” 

“You don’t have to be ambassador to commit treason, Clarke.” Lexa relaxed back into her throne, resting her forearms along the armrests. 

“The only crime I’ve committed is loving you, we both know that. So what’s the punishment for falling in love, Lexa?” Clarke leaned over the throne getting in Lexa’s face.

Lexa’s nostrils flared in defiance. “I should give you 100 lashes.”

“Is that to be the punishment for loving then? 100 lashes?”

Lexa was so lost in the fire burning in Clarke’s eyes that she barely registered that Clarke had reached into her jacket and pulled out leather cuffs. Clarke already had one of Lexa’s wrists strapped to the chair before Lexa realized that Clarke was working on the other one. Instinctively she jerked her hand away but Clarke grabbed it and pinned it against the armrest. Lexa didn’t fight her and watched as Clarke fastened the metal buckle. “Clarke, what are you doing?”

“Giving you your punishment.”

“My punishment?”

“Yes, 100 lashes for falling in love. Isn’t that what you said?” Clarke sneered. And Lexa didn’t deny it. She loved Clarke. Loved her more than she’s ever loved another human being. Loved her more than she loved breathing oxygen. Loved her more than the throne, more than her duty, more than her people. As she looked into those hurting blue eyes, she knew that Clarke was her people. She wanted to tell her but knew that doing so would only prolong the hurt. Make it worse when she has to send her away again. So she decided to give Clarke the moment. 

Clarke reached to Lexa’s side and pulled her dagger out of its sheath. Lexa was still in her full riding outfit, coat and all, but Clarke pushed the coat lapels to the side. A pop of thunder exploded outside the tent but the only thing Lexa heard was the tearing of the fabric as Clarke sliced the blade down the front of the Commander’s black top. Her breasts were taped down with white binding. Clarke made fast work of the binding, careful not to knick Lexa’s precious breasts with the blade. 

“One,” Clarke breathed as she lapped her tongue across one taut nipple. “Two,” as she laved at the other. Lexa closed her eyes and threw back her head. She’d promised herself that it was over between her and Clarke. That it was for the best. That sending Clarke away was the only way to keep her safe. She’d resigned herself to the fact that she’d never feel Clarke’s mouth loving her her again. She squeezed her eyes fighting the tears. 

Clarke could see the storm brewing in Lexa’s heart. Another burst of lightning lit up the tent and a clap of thunder ripped through the heavens nearly shaking the ground. No, it was Lexa shaking, Clarke realized as she licked up Lexa’s throat. “Three,”

Across her collarbone, “Four.”

Along her right jawline, “Five.”

The cartilage of her ear, “Six.”

She lifted Lexa’s braids off the back of her neck and traced the infinity tattoo with her tongue, “Seven.”

Pulling back, she looked at Lexa’s beautiful face. She placed a gentle, loving kiss on Lexa’s forehead and nose. Rain hammered the tent overhead. Thud, thud, thud, against the leather A single drop fell from Lexa’s eye and landed on her leather coat. Thud. Clarke licked the salty trail it left behind on Lexa’s face, “Eight.”

A second tear dripped down Lexa’s cheek and over her chin landing on her chest, Plop. Clarke followed it’s path, as well, “Nine.” 

Clarke kissed at Lexa’s tits again, loving them with each stroke of her tongue. “Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen.”

Lexa’s fresh tears now felt cold against her hot face. How could Clarke twist her like this? From loss, to anger, to defiance, to lust, to love. Emotions had never been something she had to experience. She’d been trained to suppress them, to ignore them. To privilege the head over the heart. Calculation over caring. But that wasn’t the life she wanted anymore. Could she and Clarke really build a better world? A world where love prevailed and was a strength instead of a weakness. A world where blood did not answer blood but where heart did answer heart.

Clarke flicked the button of Lexa’s pants. And Lexa gave up any pretense of fight. She lifted her hips letting Clarke slide her pants off, taking her panties with them. 

Clarke was on her knees in front of the throne. She looked up at Lexa, she’d felt her lover’s resolve crumbling. She knew there would be no forthcoming punishment. She also knew that Lexa wouldn’t be sending her back to Arkadia. She tongued the inside of Lexa’s left knee, “Seventeen.”

Lexa’s legs fell farther apart. Clarke grinned. The storm outside was completely forgotten as a new-found calm filled the tent. Their war was over. Clarke had won and they both knew it. It was the only battle that Lexa had felt victorious in losing. 

Up Lexa’s thigh, “Eighteen.”

Lexa angled her ass so the her center would be open for Clarke to explore.

The side of Lexa’s vulva, “Nineteen.”

Her labia, “Twenty.”

Opening her lips to taste the tang within, “Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six.

Her thick bundle of nerves, “twenty-seven, twenty-eight.”

“I’ll count,” Lexa panted. “Twenty-nine, Thirty,” but soon Lexa was breathless and Clarke had her mouthful. 

Clarke let Lexa ride out her orgasm and then unfastened the cuffs. But she hadn’t finished teaching Heda a lesson quite yet. 

Lexa collapsed back in the chair, spent. She was half-conscious and could only half follow what Clarke was doing as she rifled through the Commander’s trunk. 

But when Clarke stood in front of her wearing the leather strap on, Lexa’s eyes came to full alert. They’d done it once before and Lexa had quite enjoyed the feeling of Clarke topping her, stretching her. 

She looked into the azure eyes and knew that this was what Clarke needed. She needed to own Lexa. Needed the reassurance that she had this power over the Commander. Over her.  
“Where do you want me?” Lexa asked as softly. 

“Bend over your throne Lexa,” Clarke commanded.

Lexa bent over and spread her long legs so that she was low enough that the slightly shorter Clarke could give her a good thrusting. Clarke was less gentle with Lexa than she had been the first time she’d used the cock on her. She knew Lexa was wet enough to take a good pounding but more than that, this was about Clarke’s pleasure. About her taking from Lexa what she needed. Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hips and fucked her with all she had letting the friction of the hilt of the dildo against her clit bring her off as she rode Lexa. 

Lexa reached down and fingered her own clit. She was surprised that she reached orgasm again before Clarke cried out her own release. 

“You’re mine, you’re mine. Not going anywhere,” Clarke sobbed as they found their way to the bed and Lexa held her, stroked her hair, and whispered apologies and promises of forever.


	7. Penance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has defied Heda. Lexa looks for a suitable punishment.

Clarke awoke to the routine noises of people breaking up camp. The furs next to her were empty and the hearth in the center of the tent was cold black. She sat up and stretched. She was hoping for a morning session of love-making with her girl but Lexa was not even in the tent. She was probably already dressed and ready to ride. Clarke groaned placing her bare feet on the leather rugs that served as flooring. She was looking at her dirty feet when Lexa waltzed into the tent.

“Good, you’re up,” Lexa was more curt than Clarke had been expecting.

“Yeah, how long have you been awake?”

“Since before dawn, Clarke.” Something in the twist of Lexa’s lips told Clarke that there was trouble. Of course, there was trouble, Clarke thought. When was there not trouble?

“What’s bothering you?”

Lexa jutted her chin slightly forward and cocked an eyebrow. Clarke really could read her better than anyone else. “We have an issue.”

“Okay?’

“Jeffers and Arli rode into camp before sunup. You’ve made me look bad in front of my people. There are whispers and rumors.” Lexa looked down. There was more, Clarke could tell, but Lexa was holding back. 

“Lexa, I never meant . . .”

“You never do,” Lexa realized instantly that her tone had been too harsh, the words too critical “Look Clarke, my people’s ways are hard, harder than yours.”

“I’m not so sure. Lexa we floated people for minor offences.”

“Yes, you’ve said, but you still don’t seem to understand my people’s need for order.”

“I do. I just hope that there is also room for tolerance.” Clarke stood and moved toward her lover.

“I’ve been tolerant.”

“You have,” Clarke twined her arms about Lexa’s waist and looked into the forest green eyes which were holding so much pain. 

“Now, I need you to be tolerant and understanding, Clarke.”

“Since the day I met you, I’ve tried to understand your people, Lexa.”

“Okay, so maybe I need you to do more than understand this time, I need you to accept our ways.”

“I’ll try. Wow, how much collateral damage have I caused here?”

“Well, Jeffers and Arli weren’t the only ones who knew I was sending you back to Arkadia. So, when people see that you are back. It’s not going to take them long to put two and two together, Clarke. Jeffers and Arli are already vowing to make sure that you don’t slip away this time.”

“You’ve told them that you are going to let them take me to Arkadia?” Clarke pulled away from Lexa. She was sure they’d had this settled. And she was pretty sure that more than a few people already knew she was back in camp anyway. They hadn’t been particularly quiet in their reunion. Unless, people thought Lexa had another woman in here. The thought brought fire to Clarke’s cheeks. She didn’t want to think of Lexa in bed with another woman. Touching another woman, kissing her. 

“No, I didn’t. I’ve told them that I am dealing with you. And so now you see the dilemma. I have to deal with you. I’m going to have punish you publicly Clarke, it is the only way I can save face with my people.”

Clarke hadn’t considered this when when she charged across the country chasing after Lexa. Really, it made perfect sense, she didn’t know why the thought hadn’t even entered her mind. She felt a little naive and foolish for not realizing the predicament that her returning without permission would put Lexa in. Clarke suddenly felt very selfish. “Okay. You’re right. What’s the punishment?”

“Well, if we were in Polis or Dalice, or any other city, I could lock you up for a period of time and that would at least quell some of the rumors or at least stop people from saying that I was letting my feelings or favoritism stop me from meting out justice.”

“But we don’t have a jail or even a stockade on the road.”

“Right. I would say under these circumstance that caning would do. But I can’t bring myself to hit you, Clarke, or allow anyone else to hit you either.” Lexa shook her head and sighed. “I really have grown weak.”

“It’s not weakness to not want to beat someone, Lexa.”

“Maybe not in your world. But I ran a blade through Gustus for treason.”

“This isn’t treason. It’s just defiance.” Clarke defended.

“Defiance against the Commander is just shy of treason, Clarke.”

“Look, when you invited me to come along. You said you wanted me to come as your companion. Maybe it’s time we were a little more open with what we are to each other. I mean it isn’t as if they can’t hear us copulating in the tent, Lexa. Let’s make it officially public.”

Lexa flushed and Clarke thought it was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen.

“Clarke I would love more than you will ever know to be able to let this slide but I can’t. Not now, not with Garland locked up for helping you.”

“Wait, what?”

“What did you think my gonas were going to do to her when they realized that she assisted you? And more than that, how did you know she would help you? I worked hard not to show any emotion toward her when we were in her shop.” Lexa studied Clarke’s face closely.

“I didn’t it. I was in the market looking for any diversion. I went in her shop on a whim. She offered to help me. Wait, so you do know that she’s your granmon?”

“Yes. I don’t refer to her that way. But I know she’s my ancestor.”

“Then you have to send Jeffers and Arli back with instructions to release her.”

“I don’t have to do any such thing, Clarke. I’m Heda. If I stop punishing people for defying me then I won’t be Heda for long. We may not have Nia to worry about but if you recall, plenty of my ambassadors were willing to overthrow me.”

“Will she be hurt? What is her punishment to be?”

“She’s to be locked up until I can return to Dalice and pass judgement.” Lexa poured her and Clarke each a cup of water. 

“That doesn’t seem very efficient.” Clarke took the cup Lexa offered her.

“If her crimes had been local in nature then they would have dealt with it as such but since her crimes were directly against Heda they locked her up until I can make a proper judgement since the sentence is nearly always death.”

“You not going to kill, Garland. If you do, then you have to kill me too. She only defied you because of me.”

“So now you see where we are, Clarke.”

Clarke put her cup aside and took Lexa’s and put it away too. Then, she took Lexa in her arms and spoke softly to her love. “I see why your brow is furrowed, yes. But I also think we can come to a solution. And I just realized that if you out our relationship, which I still think you should. Then you will definitely have to punish me publicly. Because then you show your people that no one, not even Heda’s lover, is above the law. It will elevate you even more in there eyes. So I will take the punishment but I have one stipulation.”

“Yes?”

“Garland goes free. Send a rider, someone you can trust. I want her freed today.”

Lexa’s nostrils flared. She wasn’t accustomed to being dictated too but Clarke’s reasoning was sound. If she announced their relationship and then still punished Clarke, the people would respect her. They would see that Heda put no one above them where the law was concerned. Lexa nodded wordlessly. Now, she just had to decide on a suitable punishment. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Clarke felt guilty because she knew that they needed to be on the road already and Lexa was only having to stall leaving because she had to deal with the ordeal that Clarke had created by coming back to camp against Lexa’s wishes. 

Lexa had gone out of the tent to order a rider back to Dalice as Clarke had requested. She’d also told Clarke that she needed some time to think without the blonde’s intoxicating presence. So, Clarke had promised to give her space and stayed in the tent. She knew Lexa was contemplating just what to do with her. For Clarke’s part, she thought that caning was the simplest solution. It also had the twin benefits of being very public and over rather quickly. But Lexa seemed dead set against it. So, Clarke hadn’t mentioned it again. 

Whatever Lexa decided, Clarke knew that she would have to go through with it. It was the only way Lexa could keep face in front of her people. Clarke couldn’t help wonder if Titus had already heard about the latest turn of events. She was all but certain that he had trusted spies in Heda’s personal guard. 

Clarke worked to pack up things on the inside of the tent so that once the sentence had been carried out, They would only have to dismantle the tent. She was working on rolling up one of the leather flooring pieces when Lexa came and stood just inside the door.

“Come Clarke,” she commanded and held the flap for Clarke to exit before her.

When Clarke emerged from the tent there were only a handful of gasps and whispers. Most people had already realized that the Skygirl was back or they’d heard it from someone who had. 

Still, Clarke kept her chin held high and walked beside Lexa who purposefully put her hand at the small of Clarke’s back in a protective gesture. Lexa walked them into what had been the middle of camp before people had started breaking down their tents and packing up. It was clear that Heda had a message for her people and, as such, all activity in camp stopped and all eyes turned to the pair of women. 

“Good Morning,” Lexa addressed the crowd. “As many of you have, no doubt, heard by now. Clarke kom Skaikru has returned to our party. And, as many of you are also certainly aware she’s done so against instruction.”

Murmurs rippled through the crowd as people shook their heads in disapproval. Clarke was even sure she heard one person suggest death by a thousand cuts. But Lexa silenced them all with her next words, “I’m sure plenty of you have wondered at the nature of my relationship with Clarke. Well, I intend to put your active imaginations and idle gossip to rest. I have sworn fealty to Clarke kom Skaikru. I will honor her until my death. As Heda I am sworn to protect my people and I will never fail in that duty. As Lexa, Clarke carries my heart.”

Clarke was overwhelmed with emotion. She’d thought that they would discuss how they would come out, but leave it to Lexa to just blurt it out like it was law. It was strange how Lexa speaking the words in front of her people seemed to give them so much more weight. It was as if the public declaration made it somehow more real even though Clarke knew that it didn’t and that she didn’t love Lexa anymore than she did when they were being discreet. Still, it felt good to not have to steal glances or to be afraid to accidentally brush up against Lexa for fear that it might be misconstrued. 

Lexa continued. “Still, just because she has won my love does not mean that Clarke kom Skaikru is freed from the obligations or regulations imposed by Heda. She has directly disobeyed an order given to her by the Commander and thus, must suffer consequences commensurate with her transgression. She had been commanded to return to her people but instead chose to ignore that order and come back to camp,” Lexa outlined Clarke’s crime in full detail. She didn’t want there to be any questions about the crime or the punishment. “Her actions caused no one bodily harm, nor did anyone die as a result of her disobedience. Therefore, her punishment will reflect that. What Clarke kom Skaikru must learn, is to submit herself to the will of the Commander. And as such, her punishment will be servitude.”

Clarke looked at Lexa. She wasn’t entirely sure that the people would find her serving Lexa as much of a punishment. Everyone knew that Clarke would do nearly anything for Lexa that she asked anyway. Clarke looked at Lexa puzzled.

Lexa turned to Clarke. “Clarke kom Skaikru. Do you acknowledge that you willfully disobeyed your Commander?”

“I do,” Clarke answered loud enough that those in the back of the crowd could hear. 

“And, do you accept my right to punish you as I see fit?”

“Sha, Heda,” Clarke nodded.

“Very well, To be Heda is to serve my people. You’ve disobeyed me and disobeying me is to dishonor my people. As such, I sentence you to a day of servicing my people.” Lexa gestured toward the crowd with an open palm. “Whatever my people ask of you between now and sundown, you must do. So long as it doesn’t cause you bodily harm. Also, you will be giving up your mount today and walking alongside my people so as to better serve them. If you love Heda, then you must love her people.”

“Understood,” Clarke nodded. 

“Bethesda, you will ride Clarke’s horse today.” Lexa turned to one of the older women who usually brought up the rear of the travelling party. Clarke knew from the woman’s tattooing that she was a fisa. Her healing powers had been the reason she’d been chosen to accompany Lexa’s train westward. The old woman’s face beamed at the news. “Clarke you will carry Bethesda’s pack”

“Of course, Heda,” Clarke readily acquiesced. 

“Now,” Lexa turned to speak to the entire crowd again. “We’ve wasted too many hours of daylight. Let’s get camp broken and move out.”

As people shuffled off to finish taking up camp, Clarke leaned in to Lexa and whispered. “I know that wasn’t easy for you, talking about your feelings so openly. I love you. I won’t disappoint you.”

But Lexa had already turned her Heda face on. “See that you don’t, Clarke.”

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

By sundown Clarke was exhausted. The people had not abused their power over her but she was tired from nearly ten hours of walking. Even when they’d stopped for the midday meal, Clarke didn’t get much rest because she was scurrying around helping folks. Clarke noticed that Lexa ignored her all day. Clarke wasn’t sure if Lexa wouldn’t make eye contact with her because she was trying to put on a strong face in front of her people or if it was too hard for Lexa to watch her doing menial tasks. Even when Clarke had fetched the Commander’s waterskin, Lexa had refused to look at her when she took it. By afternoon, Lexa’s coldness was starting to make Clarke feel uneasy. 

By sundown, when Clarke’s penance had been officially paid, Clarke felt so distant from Lexa that she contemplated not even sleeping in the Commander’s tent with her as had been their practice since the beginning of their journey. Even though Lexa had publicly declared her love for Clarke, doubt gnawed at her nonetheless. She’d willingly taken the punishment, so why had Lexa shunned her? It seemed cruel somehow that Lexa hadn’t even offered her a single smile or word of encouragement to get through the ordeal.

The camp fires were roaring and people had gathered around them recounting the day and telling stories of times past. Clarke looked from the people to the closed flaps of the Commander’s tent and then back to the circles of Grounders. Bethesda, the fisa who’d taken Clarke’s mount for the day, beckoned for Clarke to come join them. Before today, Clarke couldn’t recall having ever said three words to the woman but during the day’s journey, Bethesda had been cordial to Clarke. She’d only asked Clarke for a handful of things and mostly they were items she genuinely needed from her pack. 

The old medicine woman grinned at Clarke with the few teeth she had left in her head and patted the fur that she sat on. Clarke ambled over and sat next to her. Bethesda pulled a skewer of rabbit meat from the fire and handed it to Clarke. “Eat, you’ve earned it.”

Clarke took the meat and smiled before tearing into the tender flesh. “Mochof,” she said as juice ran down her chin. 

“They say you are a fisa,” Bethesda took a swig of what Clarke thought looked like wine, she offered the cup to Clarke and Clarke took a mouthful. It was warm and sweet and just what she needed.

Bethesda saw the approval in Clarke’s eyes. “My own recipe. So, is it true? Are you a fisa?”

“My mother is. I’ve learned a few things to keep us alive on the ground. But I’m not officially a doctor, no.”

“Officially?”

“I don’t have a degree or certificate or anything like that?”

“Do you think I’m not a fisa?”

Clarke pulled back and looked at the woman. The last thing she’d meant to do was offend the woman. “No, it’s not like that at all. Of course, I think. . .I mean I’m sure you’re a fine fisa. You’re well-respected as a healer. As is Nyko.”

“Ah, Nyko. He was my sharpest apprentice. I’m glad he is helping your people now. She’s a real leader you know,” Bethesda pointed to Lexa’s tent. “I’ve seen Commanders come and go. I’ve never seen anyone like her. She doesn’t let tradition dictate everything. She uses her intuition. She’s brought us more peace than any of the other Commanders. The Coalition was all her. She’ll make sure your people are treated fairly.”

“It’s not Lexa that concerns me.”

“It’s your people?”

Clarke nodded and ate another bite of rabbit. “They think they are right, always. They can’t see that we have to survive together. That we are stronger together. Our differences should unite us not divide us.”

“She sees that.”

“Sha, she is special.”

“You are special, Clarke kom Skaikru.” Bethesda handed Clarke the cup of wine again. “I’d like to take you as my apprentice.”

Clarke nearly choked on the wine. She knew Bethesda was offering her a great honor. But it was more than that. In her heart of hearts, Clarke knew that she couldn’t remain the Skaikru ambassador indefinitely. Eventually, she was going to have to assimilate into Lexa’s world. She hadn’t been certain what her role would be in that world. And even though she had served as the 100’s healer when they’d first landed, she hadn’t really had an opportunity to learn much Trikru medicine. “Bethesda, I. . .um. . . .”

“I know I just dropped it on you like that. But the truth is. . .I’m getting on in years. I’ve always been the traveling fisa but I think this will be my last journey. Who better to take my place that someone already gifted in the art? And someone I can trust to care for Heda as I have done? Think on it yongen. But for now, I think you are being summoned.”

Clarke looked across the field to see Arli marching her way. It didn’t take him long to reach her on the long legs of his six foot three frame. “Heda will see you now.”

It was clearly an order and not a request. 

“I’ll be right there,” Clarke answered and turned back to Bethesda. She could still feel Arli hovering over her shoulder. He still wasn’t over the fact that she had given him and Jeffers the slip. He probably thought that her punishment hadn’t been severe enough. Clarke did her best to ignore him. “Bethesda, it truly is an honor. But let me clear it with Lexa.”

Bethesda nodded. The girl was starting to understand their ways. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Clarke noticed that Arli departed once he’d pulled the tent flap back for her to enter. Clearly, Heda had given orders that they were to have privacy. Warmth crept across Clarke’s cheeks as she anticipated an evening of solitude with Lexa. 

The first thing Clarke noticed were the candles. They burned everywhere and the central hearth space had a low fire burning there as well. Two pots were suspended over the fire. The next thing she saw was Lexa kneeling in front of her throne. A clay bowl sat next to the Commander. 

When Clarke’s blue gaze fell on Lexa, the brunette pointed to her throne. “Have a seat Clarke.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed in confusion. Why was Lexa inviting her to sit in Heda’s throne?  
But something in the heaviness of Lexa’s stare told her not to question it. She walked past where Lexa sat back on her haunches and settled down into the wooden seat. 

Lexa started unlacing Clarke’s boots. “As you have served my people, I will serve you.”

“Lexa, you don’t have to.”

“Shh, Clarke. I do. My heart was so swelled with pride today that I didn’t dare look at you. Had I, I would’ve lost control of my emotions. You were gracious to accept the punishment to honor and serve my people. You’re truly becoming one of them and it fills me with such joy. Joy that I’ve never known Clarke. And tonight I honor you.” 

Clarke knew better than to protest and in all honesty she didn’t want to. She was just so elated that Lexa’s perceived coldness had actually been the greatest warmth. And she was glad to know that Lexa could see that she was making progress with her people. She thought that Lexa would approve of the idea of her becoming Bethesda’s apprentice but Clarke knew that now was not the time to bring it up. 

Lexa slipped off Clarke’s boots and socks. She took a wet towel from the clay pot of water and tenderly washed Clarke’s feet with it. The soft cloth and the warm water felt like heaven on her dog-tired feet. 

As Lexa looked at the blisters that had started to form on the balls of Clarke’s feet she felt slightly guilty for making her lover walk all day. But she knew that the punishment was far better than the caning that most people had likely expected. Blisters were certainly better than open gashes. And, her feet would heal tomorrow since she would be back on her horse riding at Lexa’s side.

Once Lexa was satisfied that she’d thoroughly cleaned Clarke’s feet she tossed out the water and poured hot water from the kettle suspended over the heart into the bowl. She then mixed in some cool water from the pitcher that sat on the side table. She tested the water on the back of her wrist then placed the wide mouthed bowl in front of Clarke. 

“Soak your feet, Clarke.”

Clarke inched her toes into the steaming water then settled her feet in as she adjusted to the temperature. “Ahhhh,” she moaned. 

“Sit back and relax.” Lexa walked around the back of the throne and ran her wrists through the wooden limbs that branched out from the base of the chair. Lexa moved her hands through Clarke’s blonde hair and started massaging circles into Clarke’s scalp.

“Mmmm, feels good. But Lexa you really don’t have to do this.”

“Sha, Clarke. I do. I realized as I watched you today that I sinned against you as much as you did me. I shouldn’t have sent you away. I told myself that I was doing it for your own good but I now know that I was only lying to myself.”

Clarke twisted her neck to try to look at Lexa but Lexa held Clarke’s scalp firmly between her hands. 

“My feelings for you are well known. I haven’t been able to keep them hidden for a long time now,” Lexa continued. “You would’ve probably actually been in more danger in Arkadia, away from me, where you own people could use you as a tool against me. When i sent you away, I was really only protecting myself. But the truth is that it still hurt to be apart from you. Even though I knew you were alive and breathing, it still ripped at my soul to look at the empty space beside me as I rode. I don’t want to be without you Clarke, ever. So, this is my penance, to you.”

Clarke wanted nothing more than to take Lexa into her arms and lay her down on the bed and make gentle love to her but she knew that this was something that Lexa needed to do so she eased back into the chair and granted Lexa the absolution that she sought. 

Lexa worked her hands from Clarke’s scalp down to her taut neck muscles. She’d overstrained them lifting things earlier in the day and she could literally feel the knots turning into butter under the Commander’s skillful hands. Once Lexa was satisfied that Clarke’s neck was supple enough, she turned to Clarke’s beautiful shoulders. 

“I feel like we are at a crossroads.” Clarke whispered.

“How do you mean?” Lexa cupped the curve of Clarke’s shoulder and worked her thumbs over the blades.

“We’ve been stuck between worlds. Or at least I have.” 

“I’ve tried to prevent you from feeling that way. I welcomed Skaikru into the coalition. I know you still think our ways are harsh, barbaric. . .”

Clarke reached up for one of Lexa’s hands and pulled her around to face her. “I do not think you are barbaric. I’ve told you the hideous things we had to resort to in our sterile environment on the Ark. It is not my place to judge things you’ve had to do to survive the stark realities of a wasteland.”

“Still, you think we choose death too easily. And you’re right, It’s one of the things I’ve tried to change as Commander. I believe with you at my side, we can make that happen.” Lexa knelt in front of her and took a towel in hand.

“We will. I told you, your legacy will be peace.”

Lexa took one of Clarke’s feet from the pot and began drying it. Her green gaze locked on Clarke’s eyes. “Our legacy.”

“Our legacy,” Clarke repeated. “But you know that Titus is going to have a coronary don’t you?”

“I’m well aware of how Titus is going to react. He’s so fixated on the old ways.”

“You don’t think he will try a coup do you?”

“Titus? He wouldn’t have the gall to stand against Heda.” Lexa dried the other foot.

“Maybe not openly, but would he conspire with others to have you overthrown?’ 

Lexa’s frown told Clarke that it was something the Commander had never considered. She’d always assumed Titus’ loyalty. But she’d seen where loyalty could turn ugly. Memories of running the blade through Gustus caused her to close her eyes. She suppressed a shiver so that Clarke would not see her weakness. 

Still, Clarke noticed. “What are you thinking? You okay?”

“How do you do that?”

“I love you. It’s almost telepathic for me. I can sense your emotions, Lexa. I’ve never been this way with anyone. If you’d have asked me a year ago if I believed in fate, I would’ve said no. But when I am in your arms, I’m not so sure.”

“It isn’t Fate. I used to believe that. I used to believe that I was fated to be Commander. That the Commander’s spirit chose me. It’s what I had been taught.” Lexa offered Clarke a hand out of the chair and then she guided them over to the low bed.

The light from the candles and the low fire in the hearth bounced off of Lexa’s honey-brown hair. Clarke couldn’t wait to see that same light play across Lexa’s smooth skin. “And now?”

“Now, I know that it all happened because of choices. Choices are more powerful than fate, Clarke. Our choices define us. There is only one choice I will ever regret because it nearly cost me this,” Lexa leaned in and pulled Clarke’s lips into her own in a languid kiss. 

Clarke moved her mouth against Lexa’s. She could taste mint and cloves on her lover’s tongue. It only made her hungry for more. As their tongues tangled, Clarke gradually took control of the dance. She gently moved them down on the bed so that Lexa was beneath her. Clarke slid her thigh between the Commander’s legs. 

“You know, I’ve made my fair share of bad choices,” Clarke whispered as she peppered kisses from Lexa’s mouth, up her jawline, and across the cartilage of her ear. Clarke took the ridge of Lexa’s ear between her teeth and let her hand reach for Lexa’s chest. 

“Mmmm,” Lexa sighed as Clarke squeezed one of the globes in her hand. “Any regrets?”

“None,” Clarke answered. Then pressed her thigh stiffly against Lexa’s sex for emphasis. “They all brought me here.”

Lexa didn’t even care how brazen or needy she looked. She ground down hard against Clarke’s bone craving the pressure against her mound. She knew she could come just from Clarke moving against her this way. But this wasn’t supposed to be about her pleasure. It was supposed to have been about Clarke’s. How did this Skaigirl always manage to turn the tables on her? Lexa had never been a bottom before but somehow she loved being beneath Clarke. She looked up into Clarke’s blue eyes which looked nearly black with desire. She could tell that Clarke loved owning her. This small girl had the Commander of the Thirteen Clans completely at her mercy. And if that made her weak, Lexa didn’t care anymore. 

Lexa squeezed her legs together stopping Clarke from pulsing her thigh against her. 

“You weren’t enjoying that, Lexa?”

“Oh, I think you know, I was. But I wanna make love to you, Clarke.”

“You are making love to me, Lexa.”

Lexa rolled them so that Clarke was beneath her. The move reminded Clarke just which one of them had the superior strength. And if made her love Lexa all the more. The fact the fierce warrior inside Lexa was able give way to the vulnerable woman below the surface only showed Clarke just how strong the woman really was. 

“Let’s get you out of these,” Lexa flicked open the button of Clarke’s pants and released the zipper. Clarke lifted her hips and shimmied out of her pants and panties, kicking her feet around until the garment fell to the floor. 

Lexa slicked on finger through Clarke’s folds to test her wetness. Her pot was already full of sweet delicious honey. Lexa couldn’t resist a taste. She licked Clarke from her finger. “I’m gonna fuck you now, Clarke.” 

“Please,” Clarke breathed and let her knees fall apart. 

Lexa lay her still fully-clothed body flush against Clarke and put her hand between Clarke’s legs. With two fingers she pressed inside the pink flesh and let the butt of her hand rub unmercifully against the engorged nub that pressed out from under Clarke’s silky blonde curls.

When Lexa hooked her fingers inside Clarke, the Skaigirl nearly lifted off the bed. Lexa placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her stationary and went up on her knees so that she could really give Clarke a good thrusting. “Finger your clit, Clarke. I’m gonna try three fingers.”

Clarke licked her fingers and went to work massaging her nub while Lexa added her ring finger into the mix, stretching Clarke more than usual. “Mmmmm, Lexa.”

“You like that?”

Clarke could only pant and nod as she was getting ever closer to the brink.

“How about this? Lexa licked the index finger of her other hand and pressed it against the sensitive region between Clarke’s two openings.

Clarke had never had anal sex of any kind and was surprised to find that she liked the pressure that Lexa was exerting near the opening of her ass.

“You’re so wet Clarke, I can feel how tight you’re getting. I want you to come hard for me, Skaigirl. Come down like hard rain.” Lexa pressed the tip of her finger into Clarke’s ass and Clarke came unglued. She’d never felt so full. Lexa’s three fingers were deep inside her pussy and the other pressing in her ass from the other side created the most intense orgasm she’d ever felt She could literally feel herself clenching against Lexa’s fingers as her ass puckered in perfect rhythm.  
She rode out the wave before collapsing in a sweaty, boneless heap on the bed. 

“What was that?” She panted.

“That was me making love to you.”

Clarke growled. “My turn.”

“Not gonna take long. I could almost come from watching you come. You are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Lexa tore her clothes off. Her clit was already throbbing, her center swelled and ready. 

“Do you want me to put on the dick? You seem to really like that?” Clarke asked.

“I want you to do whatever you want. I’m yours Clarke.”

“Well in that case, I’ve worked up quite the appetite.” Clarke sat up and pushed Lexa back on the bed. She didn’t waste a second moving in between Lexa’s long toned thighs. The last thing she saw as she closed her mouth over Lexa’s dripping lips was the Commander throw her head back against the pillows and fist the furs in her hands. 

Later as they lay in each other’s arms petting, and kissing, and chatting. Clarke knew that this was the future. That Lexa had put aside whatever misgivings she’d had. That reminders of Costia’s gruesome death would haunt their relationship no more. Neither would the fear of public disapproval stop Lexa from being with her. The Commander had announced their relationship. And it wasn’t that she was challenging anyone to question it as much as she was saying this is the way things are and the way things are going to be. Clarke knew it would take some Grounders time to get used the idea of Heda having an open lover. And she also knew it would take her own people time to accept that she was in love with Lexa. And as much as they owed to their people, as Clarke looked down at the dark lashes that had just closed in sleep over Lexa’s forest eyes, she knew that they owed each other far more.


	8. Penthouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa finally reach San Fe and some decisions are made as to their future.

Clarke itched. She itched and she stank. The odor wasn’t exactly as foul as it was unpleasant. But at least Lexa smelled too. Although, the Commander didn’t appear to be itching. Or if she was, she was doing a really good job of hiding it. Clarke shifted uncomfortably in her mount. Lexa grinned. “Trust me. It’s for the best. You do not want a sunburn Clarke.”

“Right,” Clarke answered. Those were the same words Lexa had told her two days ago when she and Bethesda had made Clarke smear the offending mud all over her exposed limbs and face.

“When we get to San Fe, you’ll have a nice hot bath and you’ll forget all about your present discomfort,” Lexa promised. 

“And when is that exactly?” Clarke was beginning to think that this San Fe was a mythical place and that Lexa was just leading her people around in the desert like Moses.

They’d skirted a mountain range for the past half-day. Other than the rocky brown mountain range, the terrain was flat. Flat and dry. Tons of scrub brush, cacti, and tumbleweeds ran all the way to the horizon any way Clarke looked. Clarke decided that she preferred the lush valleys of Trikru lands but had to admit that the desert did have its own beauty. During sunrises and sunsets the vast blue sky transformed into a canvas of burning bold colors that made Clarke wish they had time for her to stop and capture the passing of each day. 

“Now,” Lexa answered as she could finally see the outline of the massive adobe structure that dominated the San Fe skyline. “Come on, Clarke.” Lexa called as she clicked her heels against her horse and took off at a gallop. 

Clarke having grown more accustomed to riding during their long journey followed Lexa with ease. 

When they reached the city’s gates. Lexa dismounted and offered her hand to help Clarke off of her mount. Clarke took the Commander’s hand but decided that she needed to talk to Lexa about her chivalry. She didn’t want the others thinking that she was incapable of helping herself off of a horse. 

“Heda,” one of the two guards who stood sentinel at the city gates called as they each bowed. “We’ve been expecting your party. I trust that you had a safe and pleasant journey.”

“We have. Thank you.”

“We sent word to the Mayor when your advance scout arrived this morning. She is expecting you. Your quarters have been prepared for two, as you requested.” The gona eyed Clarke appreciatively. 

Lexa cocked an eyebrow. His eyes roamed Clarke a little too appreciatively for Lexa’s liking. Lexa took Clarke’s hand in her own. “Thank you. We will retire there for a bit. Please let the Mayor know that I will expect an audience with her at sunset.”

Clarke was surprised at Lexa’s move. It wasn’t like her to display any type of emotion in front of her gonas. It took Clarke a minute to realize what had just happened. Surely, Lexa didn’t think she had anything to be worried about. But what shocked Clarke more than Lexa’s claiming of her publicly was the fact that gona had looked at her that way at all. She, like Lexa was covered in the stinking mud. They looked as grey as ghosts. The guy must be really hard up, Clarke thought. 

“As you wish, Heda.” The gona nodded to the other guard who took off, presumably to do Lexa’s bidding. 

Clarke and Lexa walked hand in hand through the city gates of San Fe. The city was modest compared to both Polis and Dalice but the marketplace was full for it’s small size. Several desert-worn woman sat weaving baskets underneath a colorful awning. Another couple of women sat at a stall offering brightly painted clay pots. Clarke took the time to admire the geometric patterns that rimmed the pots. Lexa stopped at a stall selling various textiles. Clarke had never seen such beautiful blankets. 

“Heda,” the weathered-faced vendor stood with pride as the women admired his wares. 

“Cristo, isn’t it?” 

“Sha, Heda.” the merchant beamed that Heda had remembered his name. 

“My partner, Clarke kom Skaikru, likes your blankets. Have one sent to my quarters. And we will need suitable attire for the duration of our stay. Can you please send what you can spare?”

“Sha, Heda. I’ve already sent up clothes for your arrival. I will send more by morning.”

“Mochof, Cristo.” Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s lower back and guided her toward the large adobe structure that Clarke had seen from a distance as they’d ridden into the city. 

“Mochof, Heda.” 

As they walked under a large sign that read Loretto, Lexa whispered so that only Clarke could hear,“come Clarke. Let’s have that bath,”

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

On their walk up to the Commander’s suite, Lexa explained that the large adobe building had once been a luxury hotel and had been one of the few building to survive the apocalypse. It had served as the the seat of Sankru’s government as long as anyone living could remember. The penthouse suite on the top floor belonged to the Mayor, that’s how Sankru referred to the heda of their kru. After Lexa joined the twelve clans together, it was agreed that the mayoral suite would be reserved for the Commander during her visits. This was only Lexa’s second visit to the city. Because of the distance, she generally sent representatives in her place Still, she remembered the suite from her last visit and she had a feeling Clarke was going to fall in love with the place. 

Lexa pushed open the door to the chambers and held the door open for Clarke to enter ahead of her. 

“Lexa,” Clarke gasped. 

The room was absolutely stunning. There was a dining area with a full table with enough room for eight place settings. A bar separated the dining area from what was once a kitchen. The appliances were still in place and someone had kept them clean but Clarke knew there was no electricity humming inside them. The right side of the room was a spacious seating area complete with a plush sofa, loveseat, and recliner. A massive oak coffee table sat in the middle space between the furniture. The main feature of the sitting area, however, was the deep fireplace set in the adobe wall. Someone had already placed wood on the inside for them and Clarke saw that there were more logs put aside in case they needed them. 

“You like it?” Lexa smiled as she closed the door.

“Like it? I love it.”

“You haven’t seen the best part,” Lexa promised. “Come,” she reached for Clarke’s hand.

Clarke curled her fingers in Lexa’s and let the Commander show her the rest of the suite. And boy had Lexa been right. They turned the corner and Clarke gaped at the artist’s studio that took up a small corner of the outer room. Light was the central theme of the place. Instead of adobe walls, windows with white wooden framing ran floor to ceiling. An easel with a fresh canvas sat in the corner of the studio. 

“I hope you brought you paints with you.” Lexa looked at Clarke who was trying her best to hold back her tears. Lexa pointed to the wooden desk and chair that also occupied the small room. “I want you to think of this as your personal sanctuary while we are in San Fe. Virginia Woolf once wrote that if a woman is to write she must have a room of her own, I figure that goes for artists as well,” Lexa nodded her head to the side and gave Clarke one of her half-smiles. “You deserve this. Peace has been hard and no one fought harder for it than you.”

 

“Lexa. . .” Clarke’s words couldn’t get past the lump forming in her throat. She thought that she could live in this place forever. As long as she had her girl beside her. This place was starting to feel like a veritable paradise. 

“Let’s get cleaned up so you can enjoy this room.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” But the only thing Clarke could think about enjoying at the moment was Lexa.

“The master bath is upstairs. I’m sure they have it ready for us. I sent word with the advanced riders to tell them to.”

Lexa led them to the spiral staircase that rose up to the master bedroom. “You can also draw or paint on any one of the suite’s five balconies.”

When they reached the top of the stairs, Lexa was happy to see that fresh, desert-appropriate attire was folded and waiting for them at the foot of the bed. Two pair of matching sandals, she noticed were sitting on the floor beside the bed 

“The bathroom is through here,” Lexa nodded but Clarke was still appreciating the massive king-sized bed. It was a four poster framed bed in what Clarke was sure was ebony wood. The top of the frame branched out like tree limbs. Clarke thought the bed was reminiscent of Heda’s throne. She couldn’t wait to lay Lexa down on the thick mattress and make those treetops sway. 

Lexa disappeared into the bathroom but returned quickly. “Good, the tub’s half-full. There’s a hamper in there for your dirty clothes. Go ahead and get undressed, I’ll be right back.”

“Wait. Where are you going?”

“There’s another fireplace out on the balcony. Should be water there to heat too.”

“I’ll help you.” 

“If you want.” Lexa was used to having people tend to her needs in Polis but she wasn’t used to asking Clarke to help with domestic chores. 

“Of course, I do.” 

They walked on the balcony to discover a serving girl already at the fireplace. She stood and bowed hurriedly in front of Heda. Or at least as much as her protruding stomach would let her bow. Clarke guessed from the size of her bump that the woman was at least eight months along in her pregnancy. She might have even been full term. Either way, alarm bells went off in Clarke’s head. The woman had no business carrying buckets of water for the Commander. 

“Heda, it will be my pleasure to serve you while you stay in San Fe. I’m Silver.” she greeted.

“Silver. I remember you. You used to sell nopales with your father. But you’ve grown.” Lexa looked at the protruding belly.

“Sha, Heda. My first.” She smiled pointing to the baby bump.

“Congratulations. This is Clarke kom Skaikru. She will be my guest. You are to treat her as you would treat me.”

Silver bowed to Clarke, her golden hair spilling in front her. “Welcome to San Fe, Clarke kom Skaikru.” When Silver stood and smiled at Clarke, Clarke knew the reason for her name. Clarke had never seen eyes that color. The weren’t green, grey, or blue but a unique mix of all three that made them glow. They almost looked like molten silver. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

“Thank you, Silver. Pleasure to meet you.”

Niceties over, Lexa wanted her bath. “Clarke and I have traveled for weeks and require a bath immediately. Please bring in hot water to fill the rest of the tub.”

“Sha, Heda,” the girl lifted a heavy cast iron pot of water and hung it on an iron hook that was suspended about the fire. 

Lexa turned to go back into the bedroom but Clarke pulled her by the elbow over to the corner of the balcony where wicker furniture with burnt orange cushions took up most of the space. “Lexa, she shouldn’t be doing that.”

Lexa looked at Clarke and then back to the girl. She wondered if Clarke would ever get used to their ways. “Clarke, she is a serving girl. The fact that she is serving the Commander during her visit is a huge honor.”

“No, I don’t have a problem with you having servants. I get it. You’re Heda. It’s just that she in particular shouldn’t be doing it. In her condition.”

Lexa looked back at the girl again. “Clarke, she’s pregnant, not disabled.”

“Yes, but she’s about to deliver. Look how low she’s carrying.”

“I’m sure her fisa wouldn’t let her be working if there were any danger.” Lexa argued.

“It’s her first pregnancy. She just told you that. She may not ever realized that the baby’s dropped. She probably didn’t want to beg off of work, especially since the whole city has been awaiting your arrival.”

“No offense Clarke, but our women usually work until they deliver and then they are back to work in a day, two at the most.”

“Surely not the gonas.” Clarke looked a little shocked.

“The gonas know how to prevent pregnancy. And how to terminate them if an accident occurs.”

“Right. Just trust me on this. She keeps lifting those heavy pots and we are going to be delivering a child.”

“Fine. You are as good a fisa as I’ve ever seen.” Lexa smiled at Clarke then turned to Silver. “Mochof, Silver. Clarke and I can take it from here.”

The girl looked hurt at being dismissed. She thought that she’d done something wrong or that maybe Clarke kom Skaikru didn’t like her. It was after Clarke had pulled Heda aside that the Commander had asked her to leave. She shuffled out of the room without protesting.

“See, Clarke. We’ve hurt her feelings.”

“I’ll go explain. . .”

“No, Heda doesn’t explain herself to her people.”

“I’m not Heda.”

“To them you are an extension of Heda. It’s the best way for me to protect you.” Lexa reminded.

“Right.” Clarke breathed hard. “Looks like the water is steaming. I’ll get this one, you get the next.”

“Sure.” Lexa answered and watched Clarke struggle to lift the heavy iron pot full of water. Clarke, stubborn as ever, tried to act as if the pot wasn’t heavy at all. Lexa only grinned at the girl’s hard headedness. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

After the bath they changed into the clothes that had been left for them. Clarke’s was a full-length light blue linen hooded dress with a cream colored sash for a belt. Lexa’s was of a similar fashion but was dyed a rich forest green and instead of a sash, she had a leather belt that had slots for her knives. 

“You’ll find this fabric is much cooler and even though it seems like you are all covered up it helps with protection from the sun.” 

“I like it. I especially like this green on you, my love. Makes those eyes pop.”

“Yours too.” Lexa leaned in and kissed her lover on the cheek. “Are you hungry. I was thinking of ordering food. We have a couple of hours before we are to meet the Mayor.”

“Starved actually.”

“Good. Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back.”

Clarke walked out onto the balcony and looked out across the city and to the mountains beyond. The sun had started its daily descent and was bouncing off the puffy clouds in pinks, purples, salmons, golds, and even crimson in darker places. Clarke took a seat in one of the wicker chairs and just enjoyed the view while she waited for Lexa to return.

“Be about twenty minutes,” Lexa called as she stepped outside. Clarke noticed that Lexa didn’t even take in the view. Instead she looked at Clarke with the same awe that Clarke had admired the vista beyond. 

“I love you.”

“And I you, Clarke. I love you.”

Clarke knew she’d never get tired of hearing Lexa say the words. “I can’t believe that we here. That the world isn’t falling down on our heads.” Clarke whispered.

“Oh, I’m sure we will have plenty to deal with. I know Titus isn’t going to be a walk in the park when we get back to Polis. And, to be honest, I’m still not sure how much I can trust Roan. And that Nightblood Ontari, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of her. Plus, there a few in your kru that. . .well. . .let’s just say I’m not too sure they will ever be able to accept that they aren’t entitled to the entire Earth.”

Clarke nodded because she knew it was true. 

“But, I’m hoping that as things settle as they seem to be doing that people will fall into their places, you know find what suits them and where they can be the most help. If people feel they are useful and helpful then they tend to cause fewer problems.”

Clarke remembered the early days when she first landed on Earth. That had been Murphy’s problem. Maybe it still was. Clarke decided that when they returned to Polis that she was going to reach out to the delinquent. Maybe she and Lexa could help him find his place.

“Speaking of places.” Clarke leaned toward Lexa. “Bethesda asked me to be her apprentice.”

“But you are already a fisa.” Lexa gave Clarke a curious look.

“I know some medicine, yes. I mean my mom is an actual doctor. I’m more self-taught than anything. Anyway. Bethesda says she’s the traveling fisa. And that she’s getting on in years. Says she needs to consider her replacement.”

“Are you interested in our medicine?”

“Of course I am. I am sure you have many things to teach us. You were the ones surviving here for 100 years, not us.”

“This is why I love you. You aren’t close-minded. You see value in all ways of being. Even when you thought us savage, I could tell you still respected us.”

“I thought you savage only because I was terrified of you. Once I came to know your people, you. I could never see you as anything but survivors.”

“Do you want to apprentice with Bethesda?” Lexa sat on the end of the sofa that was nearest the chair Clarke occupied.

“I think I do. You know for a long time, I thought I wanted to train as a gona.”

Lexa visibly blanched. She’d always seen Clarke as a leader but not a fighter. The thought of Clarke out there on the front lines putting herself in danger on a daily basis was too much for Lexa to bear. “No.”

“No, what?” 

“I forbid it.”

“Forbid it?” Clarke’s eyes went wide. She’d already given up on the idea of training as a gona but she wasn’t about to let Lexa tell her she couldn’t do it if that was what she wanted. “You can’t tell me what to do, Lexa.”

“I’m Heda. Yes, I can. Look Clarke, part of being Heda is being able to tell your gonas to go die for you. I could never do that if I knew you were in their ranks. Besides if you were going to apprentice as a gona I could only let you apprentice with the best and that would be me. And since it is discouraged for a First and a Second to be romantically involved I couldn’t take you as my Sekon. So there you have it. You’re not gonna train as a gona.”

“Lexa, I’d already decided against it but you’re really pissing me off right now.”

“You can be as pissed as you want. But you’re not going to be trained as a warrior.” Lexa stated adamantly.

“Don’t you want me to be able to protect myself?”

“Oh, you’ve done a fine job so far, Wanheda.”

“I mean in soulu gonplei. What if we were attacked by bandits or raiders. Wouldn’t you want me to be able to defend myself?”

“I’ll defend you.” 

“But what if something happened to you? Wouldn’t you want me to have a fighting chance?”

Lexa looked deep into Clarke’s eyes. Clarke was right. Lexa had been irresponsible not to train her. “You’re right.”

“I am?”

“Not about being a gona. That was a ridiculous idea. But I need to teach you better self-defence. I’ve just always assumed that I’d be by your side. But what if you were to get ambushed on a trip back to Arkadia and what if the guards I’d sent to protect you failed in their duty. You’d need to know how to fight. And not just the scrambling that you’ve already proven to be good at. And not just with your gun that you rely too heavily on.”

“So you’ll train me?”

“Not as my Sekon. But yes, I will show you how to fight, Clarke kom Skaikru. I will make you a fierce warrior.”

A hard knock on the hotel door carried from the main suite to where they sat upstairs interrupting their conversation. As Lexa went downstairs to get the food, she thought about the things they’d discussed. Clarke would make a wonderful fisa. Lexa decided that she would find a way to thank Bethesda for suggesting it. And as much as she hated the idea of Clarke being a target, she knew that realistically, they would always both be targets. And she told herself that it had been very irresponsible of her to not have already started training Clarke. She decided she was going to rectify that as soon as the slaked their appetites. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

After they’d cleaned their plates, Lexa motioned for Clarke to stand. Lexa took the cushions from the wicker furniture and moving the heavy planters holding various succulents, laid the cushions in a large flat square in the middle of the huge balcony.  
“What are you doing?” Clarke eyed her with interest.

“Training.” Lexa looked at her as if it should have been obvious.

“What now? I just ate.”

“Do you think a bandit or marauder will care if you just ate, Clarke?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “No.”

“Good, now come here.” Lexa pointed to where she wanted Clarke to stand in front of the make-shift pallet. 

Clarke ambled over slowly. Lexa swatted her hard on the rear which stung since the thin fabric of the linen dress felt like wearing almost nothing at all. “Ow. Lexa.”

“If I am going to train you, you are going to have to take orders more willingly.”

“Or you’ll spank me?”

“More than that. Don’t test me.” Lexa answered.

Clarke drew back and looked at her. Lexa was in full-Heda mode. She hadn’t been kidding. 

“Look, Clarke. This won’t work if you don’t take it seriously.”

Clarke straightened her spine. “You’re right.”

“Okay, so let’s begin.” They faced each other with Clarke’s back to the cushions. “What’s the first rule of survival?”

“Stay alive,” Clarke answered.

“Well, yes, but how?”

“Keep fighting.”

“Wrong, If you can run, run, Clarke”

Clarke shifted her weight to one hip and scoffed. “I don’t see you doing a lot of running.”

“Wrong, again. I left you at the mountain. We ran at TonDC,” Lexa corrected. It hurt to admit those things but they had been necessities at the time. And she had indeed survived.  
“Point taken. But you faced Roan when Nia challenged you.”

“Running wasn’t an option, then. My leadership was in question. But that isn’t the kind of running I’m talking about. I’m talking about like what we faced with Pauna. What did we do?”

“We ran.”

“Exactly. And if you find yourself jumped by bandits, you should run if you can. But sometimes that isn’t the case. Sometimes you have to fight your way out. And that is what this training is about. I want to build your strength and teach you some moves that will help you. First take the dress off. I will only encumber your movements. They are fine for in the bedchamber or in the city center but you wouldn’t wear this in the field.” 

They each pulled their long dresses over their heads and then placed them on the nearby table. They stood before each other wearing only their bras and panties

Lexa turned to Clarke. “You ready?”

Clarke nodded and the next thing she knew, she was flat on her back on the cushions. She hadn’t even seen Lexa move before the Commander was on her. If Lexa hadn’t put the cushions down, Clarke knew that she wouldn’t be able to breath at all. She hit the pallet hard and Lexa was sitting in the center of her torso and had Clarke’s wrists pinned high above her head. 

“Now, get up.” Lexa ordered. 

Clarke strained to free her wrists. She tried to push Lexa up and when that didn’t work she attempted to wrest them free by twisting them every which way. 

“No, Clarke. I’ve left you an advantage. Use your legs.”

“Right.” Clarke started bucking her hips up and down trying to dislodge Lexa but the Commander just rode the Skaigirl like a wild stallion. When Clarke realized that that tactic wasn’t going to work, She tried flipping them. Which she did successfully. But in one skilled move, Lexa had Clarke pinned beneath her again, this time she’d managed to slide a leg between Clarke’s thighs and her long bone pressed firmly against Clarke’s center.

“Dammit,” Clarke grunted. 

“Again. Try again, Clarke.”

Clarke squirmed against Lexa trying to free herself. But Lexa’s center of gravity had changed and it was no longer easy to roll them. And to make matters worse, every twist pressed Lexa’s thigh against Clarke’s hardening clit. She couldn’t help but to let herself enjoy the grind.

“You’re not concentrating, Clarke. Do you have other advantages? Openings?”

Clarke tried to think. Now that Lexa was lower down her torso she thought that maybe if she arched her back she could roll her from the top of her body. But Lexa was too rooted in place with her strong lower body. All the arching did was to push her breasts forward into Lexa’s face. Lexa nipped at the swell of Clarke’s breast that spilled out of her bra. “Nice try, Skaigirl. Something else. Remember you are trying to survive.”

Clarke took a deep breath and pushed her wrists against Lexa’s hands, again to no avail. She started bucking her whole body. Lexa had barely broken a sweat. 

Lexa purposefully brought her hands and Clarke’s wrists closer to Clarke’s face. The movement caused a slight ache in Clarke’s shoulder. “Lexa that’s uncomfortable.”

“Do you think an attacker will care that you are in discomfort?”

 

“No, but. . .”

“Then take this seriously, Clarke. I’ve left you an easy out and you haven’t gone for it, yet.”

All Clarke could think about was the throbbing in her clit that was growing worse by the second. She couldn’t help herself. She pushed herself shamelessly against Lexa.

“Clarke, are you wet?” Lexa felt the spot soaking through Clarke’s panties.

“Yes,” Clarke breathed in desperation. 

“You want me to fuck you? Is that it?”

“God, yes, Lexa.” Clarke panted and arched her boobs at Lexa again.

“Well then, earn it. Get free and I will fuck you however you like.”

Clarke tried frantically to free herself. Rocking, twisting, and gyrating. Nothing. Lexa was agile, limber, and strong. She was nearly crying in frustration when she turned her head and saw where Lexa had her hands pinned. She finally realized what Lexa wanted her to do. Clarke looked back at Lexa in shock. She couldn’t do that. She didn’t want to hurt Lexa for anything in the world. She loved her. 

Clarke’s eyes gave her hesitation away. “We do what we must to survive Clarke. Don’t think of me a Lexa. Do what you would do if I were a random threat.”

“I can’t, Lexa.”

“You want me fuck that sweet pussy, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Clarke begged.

“Then show me how bad you want it.”

Clarke closed her eyes, she couldn’t believe she was even considering it. But she hadn’t managed to free herself any other way and Lexa kept her head at a distance from Clarke’s own that made it impossible to head butt her. 

Lexa pressed her leg harder more purposeful into Clarke’s valley. Clarke’s white cotton panties were completely drenched, Clarke was hot and sticky against her thigh. “I’m gonna fuck that pussy so hard, Clarke. Gonna make you come so good.”

“Fuck!” Clarke growled and sunk her teeth into Lexa’s wrist. She could taste the iron in the black blood instantly. 

Lexa buckled at the pain. It was all the advantage that Clarke had needed. She pushed Lexa off of her. Clarke jumped up quickly and grabbed her blue linen dress and tore a strip from it. She returned to Lexa and started putting pressure on the bite wound.

“Good, Clarke. You did good.” Lexa breathed through the pain. 

“It shouldn’t have come to that, Lexa.” Clarke was angry at Lexa. At herself.

“I had to push you that far. I had to know how far you’d go.”

“This is not the kind of training I need. I need you to show me how to use a sword.”

“No. a sword makes you a target.”

“I’m already a target, remember.”

“Fine,” Lexa conceded. “But we will start with something less threatening. A staff, maybe.”

“Don’t baby me. I can be as ruthless as you.”

Lexa looked down at her wrist. And she knew Clarke was right. “You’re right. We’ll start tomorrow.”

Clarke finally had the bleeding stopped. “Here hold this in place.” She ripped another strip from her dress then tossed the blackened one aside before wrapping the wound with the fresh cloth.   
“There. You’re going to need an antibiotic. Human bites can be deadly.”

“I’ll get a slave from Bethesda. But we will worry about that later.” Lexa grinned at her seductively.

“You can’t possibly be serious right now, I just bit a plug out of you.”

Lexa reached her unwounded right hand between Clarke’s legs and stroked her still wet vulva. “You earned it. And,I promised.”

“Lexa. . .” Clarke tried to protest but was enjoying Lexa petting along her slick folds. 

“What do you want Clarke? What do you want me to do to you, sweet?”

Clarke pulled Lexa up from the cushions. Clarke knew that at least two of them were forever ruined by black bloodstains. “Let’s go to bed.”

Lexa slid the balcony door closed behind them. “You didn’t answer my question, Clarke? How do you want me? My fingers? My tongue?”

“Your dick.” Clarke answered, almost shyly, as she lay on the edge of the bed.

“My dick? Which one?”

“The leather one.” 

“The one you fucked me with?”

Clarke nodded.

Lexa went to her personal bag and took out her harness and the thick leather dildo. She watched as Clarke eyed the phallus hungrily. Lexa took her time strapping on the harness and setting the cock firmly it’s holder. “Spread you legs, Clarke. I want to see your pussy.” 

Clarke let her bent knees fall to the side. 

“So wet, I’m gonna slide right in.” Lexa reached into the bag and pulled out the little metal vibrator and placed it on the bed next to Clarke. “Don’t touch that, do you hear me?”

“Yes, Heda,” Clarke nodded but looked at the toy with longing. 

Lexa cupped Clarke’s center and smeared the Skaigirl’s juices along her four right fingers then brought them around the leather shaft and pumped it as if she were jacking it off. Clarke’s mouth fell open slightly watching Lexa rub her cock. 

“Come here, Clarke.”

Clarke scooted her ass to the very edge of the mattress. 

“No, with your mouth. Get on the floor. On your knees.”

Lexa quickly tossed a pillow on the floor and Clarke made herself comfortable in front of Lexa.

“Do you like sucking cock, Clarke?”

“I never have,” Clarke whimpered and Lexa could tell she was eager to serve her.

“Would you like to suck mine?”

“Yes,” Clarke reached for the leather dick. 

“Uh-huh-uh,” Lexa grabbed Clarke gently by the hair. “No hands. Open your mouth, Clarke.”

Clarke’s lips fell wide open and Lexa slid the cock over the top of Clarke’s tongue but didn’t push the dick in far enough to make her gag. She wanted Clarke to enjoy the sensation of being mouth fucked. Lexa moved her hips in and out in a slow rhythm. “Do you like that Clarke? Do you like the taste of your pussy on that dick?”

“Mmmmmhmmmm,” Clarke hummed and slid her hand up Lexa’s thigh to the Commander’s cunt. She found Heda hot and swollen. She couldn’t believe that Lexa was as tore up as she herself was. She wondered if she could make Lexa come in her mouth.

Lexa let Clarke toy with her a bit but pushed the blonde’s hand away as her need got stronger. She wanted to fuck Clarke as Clarke had originally requested. 

“You’re a good little dick sucker. And sometime I’ll let you bring me off like that. But right now, I want to fuck you, Clarke.” Lexa pulled the dick from Clarke’s lips and helped her back up onto the edge of the bed. Lexa was happy to see that the bed was the perfect height to fuck her lover. Lexa stood with the dark leather poised at Clarke’s opening which was so creamy that it was oozing down onto her perineum. Lexa used the ooze as more lube and ran the dick through it and then between Clarke’s folds before pressing the head into the narrow opening. Clarke was tight and it took her a moment to adjust to the girth. Lexa held still, waiting for her. Clarke nodded and Lexa ran her arms up under Clarke’s knees and held onto her thighs as she started moving the dick in and out of Clarke’s tunnel. Soon Clarke was moving in rhythm, matching thrust for thrust. Clarke pushing back against the dildo created a dangerous friction against Lexa’s nub. She was perilously close to coming. She wanted Clarke to get there first. 

“Use the toy, Clarke.” 

“Thank you,” Clarke panted and grabbed the silver vibrator and it thrummed to life as Clarke moved it against her own clit. With her free right hand, Clarke pulled at her own nipple and Lexa knew with how swollen her tits were and how rigid her nipples had gone that Clarke was close to coming. She grabbed Clarke’s hips hard and knew that Clarke would have fingerprint bruises tomorrow from the rough fucking but she couldn’t be tender now, her need was too strong. She pounded the cock mercilessly into Clarke as she became lost in the tension that demanded release. She could feel her own wetness leaking down onto her thighs. Finally, Clarke cried out and Lexa let go. Her hips jerking as she spasmed on the base of the cock. She could barely stand when she finished coming and she fell over Clarke. Clarke scooted them up onto the bed more but the cock was still nestled deep within her. It felt hot, thick, and almost alive inside her.

“Lexa, that was so amazing.”

“Mmmm, hmmmm,” was all that Lexa could manage.

Within minutes they were both fast asleep.


	9. Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets the Mayor but an emergency cuts the meeting short. A new challenge arises in Clarke and Lexa's relationship.

The Mayor was much shorter than Clarke had expected. Lexa, who was only slightly taller than Clarke, towered over the diminutive brunette. But the Mayor made up in intensity what she lacked in height. Her black eyes pierced right through Clarke as she explained local politics to the Skaikru visitor. Clarke was a bit surprised to find that Sankru had held onto some democratic elements that had been the hallmark of the United States government. With the exception of the Mayor all of the other offices were popularly elected. Only members of the High Council, however, were allowed to vote for the office of Mayor. 

Clarke would have been able to pay more attention to the Mayor had she not been so preoccupied with Silver, the pregnant serving girl who’d tried to carry her and Lexa’s bath water earlier in the day. Clarke had noticed that Silver’s hand had gone to the small of her back more than a few times since they’d come into the Mayor’s office. 

The Mayor’s office had once been the conference room of the hotel Loretto. Instead of a desk, the Mayor sat at the head of an elongated table that had over twenty swivel office chairs sitting around its perimeter. The Mayor sat at the head of the table. Clarke sat next to Lexa along the left side.

“So, I’d love to hear all about your people’s system of government. And how did you survive all of those years in the sky? What prompted your return to Earth?” Question upon question rolled off of the Mayor’s tongue. “Ahhh, forgive me. I’m bombarding you and you’ve only gotten here.”

Lexa smiled. “I’m sure Clarke would be happy to discuss all of that with you over a few drinks of Sankru tea.

Clarke wasn’t exactly sure what Sankru tea was but she wondered from the twinkle in Lexa’s eyes if it was intoxicating in some way. 

“Of course,” the Mayor clapped her hands. “So Heda, how are things in the capitol?”

“They have been strained by the arrival of Skaikru but they defeated our old enemy, the Mountain Men.”

The mayor nodded. “I’d heard.”

“Azgeda and I’ve come to terms which I am sure your ambassador filled you in on.” Lexa’s glare was slightly accusatory.

“Yes Heda. My ambassador was wrong to stand against you. She has been reprimanded.”

“Anyway. Now that Nia is no longer a threat, I hope future dealings with Azgeda will be amiable.”

“Of course. I’m sure that King Roan is grateful to you for his position.”

“For now,” Lexa nodded. “But people are concerned about some of our new policies and it remains to be seen how the leaders of the clans will deal with the resistance to the new ways.”

“You speak of Jus no drein, jus daun.” The Mayor stood from her chair and walked over to the window and looked out. “It is an idea that I could get behind. My only concern is that some of the other clans will be harder to convince and my people will not stand by and suffer abuses by those who will not play fairly.”

“I understand and share you concerns. There will be those who will find peace and forgiveness a hard tonic to swallow.” Lexa agreed.

Clarke shifted uncomfortably next to Lexa and the Commander turned to see what was causing the blonde’s distress. Clarke was watching the serving girl who’d doubled over and was clutching her abdomen.

“Mayor, Lexa, I mean Heda, I think she’s in labor. Can we continue this discussion another time?”

“Of course,” Lexa pushed back from the table and headed over to Silver.

Clarke beat her there. “Has your water broken?”

Silver looked up at Clarke, her face was a solid mask of fear. She didn’t answer Clarke.

“Silver, I need you to concentrate. Think. Did your water break? And how long have you been having the pains?”

“I uh -” Silver’s voice shook as she tried to talk.

“Get me two strong, gonas,” Lexa called to the Mayor. The Mayor hurried out into the hallway.

“This morning, maybe.” Silver finally answered. “This is my first. I’m not sure but when I passed water there was a dark looking discharge.”

“Was it bloody? Most likely her mucus plug,” Clarke looked to Lexa.

Lexa stared at Clarke blankly. She had no idea what a mucus plug was. She wasn’t a fisa and had never had a baby. In fact, this was the closest she’d ever been to labor.

Clarke shook her head. “Doesn’t matter, We need to get her on her back.”

Just then, the Mayor returned with the gonas. 

“Good,” Clarke called. “Can you lift her onto that table. Very gently.”

“But that’s the-” the Mayor started to protest but Lexa shot her a warning glare. Clarke was the only one in the room who remotely knew what she was doing. They were going to listen to her, Lexa had decided. 

The gonas caught wind rather quickly about who was in charge and lifted Silver as Clarke had directed. “That’s good, now get me some towels and some fresh water, hot if possible. Also, I’ll need a knife or some scissors.”

Lexa and the gonas all pulled their knives and thrust them toward Clarke. 

“One will do but I need you to sterilize it. Put the blade in boiling water.”

Silver wailed out as a strong contraction ripped through her. Clarke wondered how long she’d been in labor. 

“Yu,” Lexa decided which one would sterilize his knife. “Yu ge em towels, rags, whatever yu can find.”

“I’ll get the water,” the Mayor called.

Lexa looked to Clarke for guidance. “What can I do?”

“Get behind her, support her.”

“My fisa,” Silver cried.

“I’m not sure there is time but as soon as the gonas get back I’ll send for her.” Clarke promised.

The Mayor returned with a bowl of water. “I’m going to go heat some now but here’s this.”

“Good. And can you send for her fisa and her husband.”

Silver screamed and thrashed against Lexa.

Clarke hadn’t been counting but she knew that the contractions were very close. This baby was ready to come and soon. Clarke quickly scrubbed in the bowl of water that the Mayor had brought then moved between Silver’s legs.

Lexa had faced all kinds of split-second decisions in her life. Since becoming Commander the fate of her people had been on her shoulders but she wasn’t sure she’d ever been more nervous that she was going to make a mistake. She looked at Clarke with sheer admiration. Her love was cool and calm and even though Lexa could see that Clarke was also nervous, she wasn’t about to let her nerves get the better of her. 

Clarke looked up into Lexa’s green eyes. She was glad she had Lexa there to draw courage and strength from. She’d never delivered a baby. She’d seen her mom do it a couple of times and had watched tons of old tv shows but she’d never had to do it herself. So many things could go wrong. 

She nodded at Lexa and Lexa gave her an encouraging nod back. 

“Silver, I need to see how far along you are. I have to feel inside you.”

“Okaaaaaaya,uhg, ah, owa, ou,” Silver screamed out.

“Hey, I need you to do your best to keep your breathing even. I don’t need you passing out, okay. Lexa, pull her hair back, get it off her neck and fan her face.” Clarke was alarmed at how red Silver’s face had gone. 

Lexa did as Clarke instructed and also wiped the sweat from the girl’s brow.

“Okay,” Clarke was surprised to find that the cervix was almost completely dilated. She wasn’t sure but she thought that Silver had better start pushing. “Silver, listen to me. I need you to take a few deep breaths and then I need you to push with everything you’ve got, okay?”

Silver nodded, she was in too much pain to make actual words.

“Lexa hold her up more, it’ll help her push.” 

Silver grabbed hold of Lexa’s hands as she beared down and pushed with all she had.

“That’s good,” Clarke could see the baby’s head crowning. “I need you to give me another.”

The gona who’d gone to sterilize his knife returned and nearly fainted at the sight of the baby’s head peeking out of the stretched vagina. 

“Here, give it here,” Clarke reached and took the blade then sat it aside.

Another deep breath and then Silver bore down again.

“That’s good,” Lexa cheered.

“Thank you, Heda,” Silver mumbled. She knew it was a great honor that the Commander was attending her birthing. Her child would be special. She would name her after Heda, she decided.

“Come on, you’ve got it. Give me another,” Clarke called.

Suddenly, the room was full. The Mayor returned, the other gona returned, A third gona came with Silver’s husband and parents. All the newcomers were torn between their shock at the situation and their need to show obeisance to the Commander. Clarke would have laughed at their ridiculous postures if she weren’t in the middle of delivering a baby.

“Are you the husband?” Lexa called to the bronze-skinned man who’d come in with the third gona.

“Sha, Heda.” he answered and bowed. 

“Get over here, then.” 

Lexa and the husband supported Silver as she gave a final push. “That’s it,” Clarke got her hands on the shoulders and helped the baby into the world. She laid the baby gently on the mother’s belly but then gasped. 

Lexa looked at Clarke concerned. Silver was too spent to have noticed Clarke’s exclamation. The father was too joyed to be looking finally upon the eyes of his baby girl who let out her first high pitched cry. 

Clarke looked at the child who looked perfectly healthy but something had to be wrong. The placenta was all black and half of the umbilical cord was black making the tissue look dead. Clarke studied the placenta and then eyed the pink, healthy baby again and realization dawned her. She relaxed. The child was a Natblida. There was nothing wrong with the baby after all. Clarke had delivered her first child. She beamed with pride.

Lexa looked at her puzzled. She’d seen Clarke’s concern but had seen it quickly abate. She wondered what had caused the reaction. She left Silver’s side and came around the table to where Clarke stood. She looked down at the afterbirth and watched as Clarke cut the cord. Lexa understood instantly. As she watched Silver put the child to her breast, Lexa looked to the ground. She wondered if her own mother’s face had glowed with such love. She wondered if her father had stood at her mother’s side. She wondered if her parents had mourned the fact that they’d borne a Natiblida. Lexa turned and left the room. She knew what had to be done and she knew that Silver’s days of happiness were numbered. 

After Clarke cleaned up in the fresh water and cleaned Silver and the baby up, she realized that Lexa was gone. Clarke said goodbye to the smiling family and excused herself. Clarke couldn’t find her love anywhere on the bottom floor so she headed on back up to their penthouse. 

Lexa wasn’t in the front room of the suite so Clarke climbed the spiral staircase. She found her out on the balcony looking out across at the dark mountains on the horizon.

“Hey, you took off?”

“Yeah,” Lexa answered, her voice distant. 

“They are naming her after us. Quite an honor.”

“You were unbelievable Clarke. You should be proud of yourself.”

“I had you there. I can do anything as long as you are by my side.” 

“You would’ve been fine without me. Sometimes, I think chaos is your element.” Lexa still hadn’t turned to face her. Clarke could tell something was really wrong.

“Alexandra Clarke, that’s what they’ve decided on. You okay?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters. If something’s bothering you, we need to talk about it.”

“I mean her name. I doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, I thought it was a lovely gesture.”

“I mean for them, Clarke. She’s a Natblida. She’s not their daughter. She’s mine.”

Clarke cocked her head oddly. Finally, Lexa turned to her. “Have you told them?”

“I didn’t say anything, no.” 

“Their fisa will realize it soon enough. The sac was black was it not?”

“The placenta? Yes.”

“Then I am sorry for Silver. She labored for nothing.”

“So, what happens now?”

“Now, a wet nurse will be found to take the baby. That way the family doesn’t grow attached.”

“She’s carried that baby for nine months, Lexa. I can assure you she is attached.”

“I’ll need to send word to Titus.”

“You don’t have to do this, Lexa.”

“I do, Clarke. I am Heda. That child might be the next Heda. I’d like to be alone.”

Clarke shrunk back. She felt as if Lexa had just kicked her in the gut. But she did as Lexa asked. As she left the balcony, she gave a final look at the woman she loved who’d already turned her back to her and was again looking at the mountains in the distance.

Clarke lit several candles in the art studio. The sun was nearly gone, she could just see a sliver of it hovering over the horizon. Clarke pulled her sketchbook from her bag and tossed it onto the little desk. It hit with a loud thud and the noise felt right to Clarke. It matched how she was feeling on the inside. She was tired from their long journey, she was exhausted from delivering the baby, and she was hurt that Lexa had pushed her away. But more than that, she decided, she was angry at herself for letting Lexa push her away! 

Clarke pulled her pencils from the bag and placed them beside the sketchbook. Settling at the desk, she opened the book to a fresh page. She knew her energy wasn't in the right place to work on the drawing of Lexa that she'd been laboring over for a week. Still, she couldn't help but to turn to it and look on that beautiful face. Clarke reached out to the drawing and ran her finger gently along the jawline, careful not to smudge the graphite. 

As she admired Lexa's soft handsome features, Clarke realized that the last thing Lexa needed was to be alone. There had been so much pain in those green eyes and Clarke had just walked away. She’d scurried out on Heda's orders just like all of her other underlings. Clarke decided that what Lexa needed wasn't to be alone but to be loved and touched with the same care and gentleness that Clarke had just shown her drawing of Lexa. Sometimes it was easy to miss the woman beneath the Commander. Clarke had made that mistake more than once but she wouldn't make it tonight. Clarke closed her sketchbook and snuffed out the candles before heading back up stairs.

Lexa heard Clarke coming up the stairs. She quickly wiped her eyes dry. She didn’t want Clarke to see the weakness in her heart. The child was to be taken from her parents. It was not up for debate. Lexa knew she'd have to present a strong resolve. If Clarke saw even a touch of misgivings on Lexa's part, Lexa knew that Clarke would pick at those edges until Lexa gave in. This was one time where Lexa couldn't afford to show mercy. The child belonged to the Commander. All Natblida did. It was sacrilege to deny that.

Lexa had changed into a cream colored baby doll that just barely reached the tops of her thighs. She was turning down the top blanket on the king sized bed when Clarke made the top of the stairs. The sight of Lexa’s toned thighs and shapely calves stopped Clarke in her tracks for a minute. She didn’t speak so Lexa broke the silence. “If you’re here to convince me -”

“Shhh, I’m not.” Clarke closed the space between them and took Lexa’s hands in her own. She brought them up to her mouth and kissed the back of each one tenderly. Lexa trembled at the touch of Clarke’s lips. There was something undeniably powerful about the way that Clarke loved her. It was as if Clarke knew exactly what Lexa needed and right when she needed it. There was an unspoken promise that Lexa could feel in those sweet touches of Clarke’s lips to her shaking hands. 

Clarke didn’t see her tremors as weakness but instead saw them as love. Love and acceptance of being loved. She knew that Lexa had carried the weight of the twelve clans on her shoulders since she was sixteen years old. Everyone was always looking to her for something. It was rare for someone to be offering her something instead of taking, expecting. And Clarke knew that since Skaikru had joined the coalition, they’d become the biggest takers of them all. But tonight, Clarke was going to give back. 

“Clarke -”

“Shh, Let me love you, Lexa.”

“But don’t you want to talk about-”

“Not tonight. Tonight, I want to show you how much you mean to me. How much I love you. No more words.”

“But,” Lexa tried to protest but Clarke put a finger up against Lexa’s lips.

“Promise.” 

Lexa nodded.

“Good,” Clarke smiled and then replaced her finger with her mouth, closing her lips over Lexa’s before pushing Lexa’s mouth open with her seeking tongue. Their mouths pushed against each other as their tongues explored each other. 

Lexa’s mouth tasted like cool, sweet water and Clarke knew that she could happily drown in the pool that was Lexa’s mouth but she wanted more than just kisses tonight. She pulled her mouth from Lexa and was happy to see Lexa reach for one more hungry kiss. 

Clarke tugged at the hem of the little baby doll that Lexa wore. She’d never seen it before. “This looks good on you.”

Lexa reached for the sash that cinched Clarke’s dress.

“Uh-huh, I’m in charge tonight. You’re mine, Lexa. I’m gonna show you what it’s like to be mine.”  
Lexa’s cheeks pinkened at Clarke’s authoritarian tone. Clarke decided that blushing Lexa was the single most adorable thing she’d ever seen. 

Clarke untied the belt that Lexa had been trying to remove and then shrugged out of the soft linen, leaving her completely exposed in front of Lexa. 

Lexa reached for the hem of her baby doll. “Uh-huh,” Clarke shook her head. I like this on you. Lay down, Lexa.”

Lexa did as Clarke commanded and scooted up the bed until her head rested on the fat pillows. “I will take those panties though. I want to look at that perfect pussy of yours.”

Clarke hooked her thumbs into the strings of Lexa’s bikini cut panties and slid them over her hips and down her thighs. She tossed them aside and then raised the bottom of the baby doll up so that she could see Lexa’s soft brown curls. 

Lexa bent her knees and spread her legs anticipating Clarke’s next move. She hadn’t been wrong. Clarke kissed up Lexa’s thigh while she caressed Lexa’s center with her open hand. Lexa was hot and swollen against her palm and it was all she could do not to insert her finger and start fingering her right away but she wanted to take her time loving her. Lexa grinding against her palm wasn’t making things easy, though.

Clarke moved her kisses from Lexa’s inner thigh to Lexa’s mound. Her mouth replaced her hand as her nose got lost in Lexa’s curls while her lips pulled at Lexa’s hardened nub. Lexa was tore up, Clarke could tell by how big her clit had swelled. Clarke’s own nub was pulsating and begging for attention. She did her best to ignore her own need and continued kissing Lexa’s pussy. 

“Umm, Clarke,” Lexa breathed heavily. Clarke pulled her mouth away and Lexa’s back rose off of the bed in protest. Her green eyes demanded release.

Clarke took one hand and softly pushed Lexa back down on the bed. She moved up Lexa’s body supporting her weight with one hand as she half-hovered over the brunette. She cupped Lexa’s sex with her other hand, this time she let her middle finger break the folds into Lexa’s wetness. 

“Yessssss,” Lexa moved against her. It was the most beautiful thing Clarke had ever seen. Lexa riding her hand, seeking her release. 

Clarke nudged Lexa’s hair away from her face with her nose and kissed along her lover’s jawline down to her ear. 

Lexa could smell herself on Clarke’s face. It was intoxicating. But more than that was the feeling of being under Clarke. There was just something about the way the woman moved over her so gently like she was going to break her. No one else on Earth had ever treated Lexa so delicately. Everyone expected her to be so strong, so commanding. Only Clarke treated her like she was something fragile and rare, like fine porcelain. 

As if Clarke read her mind, Clarke whispered, “you’re my treasure, ai niron. I love you.”

And Lexa came undone. 

She cried. Which she hated but she couldn’t stop it. Clarke held her. 

When she could finally talk again without gasping for air, Lexa looked up into blue eyes and smiled. “I love you too. It’s all-consuming this love I have for you.”

“Feeling’s mutual, you know.”

“I do. But I never stop being humbled and amazed by it.”

Lexa reached up and pulled Clarke’s mouth down for a kiss. “I like how I taste on you.”

“I just like how you taste.”

“I like your taste better, though,” Lexa teased.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, let me show you,” Lexa raised up and it was her turn to lay Clarke down.


	10. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa works to sort out her dreams both real and metaphorically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this update. I was on holiday in Ireland and getting over a bit of jetlag!

Trouble was coming. Lexa bolted upright. Her heart raced, she had to get her breathing under control. She wiped away the sweat from her forehead. The message had been clear. It was from the Commander who’d come before her. Danger was on the horizon. Lexa looked around the room. Clarke wasn’t there. Was Clarke in danger? Could the warning have been about Clarke’s safety? “Clarke!” Lexa’s voice echoed in the room. She didn’t even bother dressing. She checked the bathroom and the balcony. No Clarke. She hurried down the spiral staircase. The front room and dining room were also vacant. “Clarke,” Lexa threw her voice toward the art studio. Nothing. Still, she checked to make sure. Clarke had been there. She’d left Lexa a note.  
Lexa picked up the letter and admired the neat penmanship.

Lexa,

Tried to wake you. You were sleeping pretty hard so I decided to let you rest. Going for a run.

Be back soon,

Clarke.

The note had worked to calm her a little bit but she still needed to see Clarke with her own eyes until she could be sure her love wasn’t in any immediate peril. Lexa rushed back up the stairs and dressed as quickly as she could.

Once downstairs, she popped into the Mayor’s office. “Have you seen Clarke this morning?”

“Yes, she left a couple of hours ago, I believe.”

A couple of hours? Lexa didn’t like the sound of that? A morning run shouldn’t take that long. How early had Clarke risen? “Did she say where she was going?” Lexa hated how vulnerable she felt asking after Clarke’s whereabouts but it couldn’t be helped. She needed to find her.

“I didn’t ask, Is everything okay?” The Mayor asked. She’d never seen Heda in such a frenzied state. 

“I’m sure it’s fine. Carry on,” Lexa responded and then headed out of SanFe headquarters. 

The day was warm and the sun was pretty high in the sky. Lexa was shocked that she’d slept so late. It had to have been the dreams. The Flame was trying to warn her. Trying to get through to her. But the message had been so vague. She was left with only the feeling that there would be violence. She wished for the first time since she’d left Polis that she had Titus there to talk to. Who was she kidding? Titus would only berate her for loving Clarke. He would blame the dreams on Wanheda and the alliance with Skaikru. Lexa shook her head. No, she was happy to be free of him. Still, it bothered her not to have someone to share the warning with. Someone to help her understand it. She could hear Titus’ words echo in her head. “To be Heda is to be alone.” But she didn’t believe that anymore. And Lexa realized that she did have someone to share her dreams with, someone to help her work through them. She had Clarke. She just had to find her. 

Lexa searched the market square as she made her way across town to the city park. It seemed the most likely place to take a run. But as she neared the road that led toward the park an unexplainable pull urged her into the residential district. The alleyway that ran between the row of adobe houses was narrow but had been paved with solid mud bricks. They had been added since the last time Lexa had visited SanFe. She’d have to remind herself to tell the Mayor that she liked the improvement. 

Lexa had traveled about a quarter-mile down the little street when she heard Clarke’s voice coming from inside one of the apartments.

“I really should be getting back, but if you need anything. Well, you know where I am staying. . .” Clarke stopped mid-sentence as the entire household stood. Even Silver, who held the baby at her breast struggled to stand. Clarke didn’t have to turn around to know that Lexa was standing in the doorway. 

“Clarke, can I see you, please,” Lexa ordered more than requested.

“Heda,” Silver’s husband, Cruz, moved forward. “You honor us with your presence. My home is your home.” He gestured for her to come in. 

“Thank you, but I just need to see Clarke.” Lexa hadn’t meant it to be rude. She was relieved to see that Clarke was safe but she was upset that her lover had lied to her. Why hadn’t Clarke simply told her she was going to check on the mother and child. Did she think that Lexa would have stopped her? 

Cruz wasn’t able to keep the hurt from his face as he stepped back to give Clarke room to leave. The home was very humble and there was hardly enough room for the young couple and the infant much less the addition of the grandparents and Clarke who had all crowded into the tiny living room. 

“Excuse me,” Clarke said politely and then joined Lexa in the alleyway. She pulled Lexa down the street to what she hoped was enough distance to keep the family from hearing their conversation. “Lexa, that was rude. He invited you into his home.”

Lexa grabbed Clarke and hugged her. It wasn’t the response that either of them had been expecting. Clarke squeezed the Commander and then pulled back. “Is everything alright, Lexa.”

“I don’t want to talk about it out here. I’m just glad you are okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Clarke’s brow knotted up between her eyes.

“Later. First, why did you lie to me?”

“What?”

“Your note said you went for a run.”

“Oh that. I did, Really early. When I came back you were still out of it. So, I had a bite to eat and then thought I would check on Silver and the baby.”

“Oh.” It was a reasonable enough answer and Lexa was more than ashamed that she’d overreacted. She knew it had been the stress of worrying over Clarke’s safety that had cause her to do so. “And how are they faring?”

“Well. They’ve realized the situation.” Clarke cast her eyes toward the ground. She was clearly still uncomfortable about the fact that the baby would be taken from it’s parents to be trained as a Nightblood novitiate. 

“Have they?” Lexa wasn’t looking forward to a quarrel, especially not out in the open street. 

“They understand. And they are prepared to give the baby up to the wet nurse.” Clarke answered. “They think it is an honor to have given birth to a Natblida. Even if their hearts ache at having to let her go.”

“The child has taken to suckling, I see.” Lexa had seen the baby nursing as she stood in the family’s doorway.

“Yes, rather easily according to Silver’s mother, Agatha. She said that it took all four of her children much longer to find the milk.”

“That’s a good sign. She should take to a wet nurse easily.” Lexa smiled. “I should step in and say a word or two to the family. I was a bit short.”

“I’ll say,” Clarke cocked an eyebrow. “Shall we?”

“Let’s.” Lexa crooked her arm in Clarke’s elbow and walked back to the dwelling.

When they crossed under the doorframe, the family jumped up again.

“Please sit,” Lexa called, her demeanor much more pleasant that it had been on her first entrance. 

Agatha bowed slightly to Lexa. “Can I bring you a tea, Heda?”

“Please,” Lexa answered as she and Clarke settled into the oversized chair that Clarke had been occupying alone. 

“So, how soon will we have to give Alexandra up?” Cruz cut right to the white elephant in the room.

“I’ll send word to my Flemikeppa later today. But if there is a local wet nurse that you trust, it is better to do it sooner than later,” Lexa answered honestly. 

Silver looked down at Alexandra who had fallen asleep as she’d fed. “I know that tradition dictates a complete break but is there any way, any way at all, that we could see still be a part of her life.”

Lexa looked at Clarke. She hoped that her girlfriend hadn’t been putting Skaikru ideas into the parent’s heads. Clarke looked back at Lexa with a look that said don’t look at me. 

“Well,” Lexa sighed. “The child will be reared in Polis and you live here so I don’t know how that would work. And as far as letters or messages, it isn’t allowed.”

“Did you know your parents?” Cruz asked.

It was an intimate question and one that none of her subjects had ever asked her before. Lexa wasn’t sure if she should be offended or happy that Cruz was being so blunt with her. 

“I was taken when I was two. My earliest memories are of the Fleimkeppa and the other Natblida.”

“Do you feel like you missed out?” Silver asked looking up from the baby.

“I’m Heda. What could I have possibly missed out on?”

Silver looked back down at the infant and kissed her forehead tenderly. “Nothing Heda, forgive me. Would you like to hold her?”

Clarke looked at Lexa and Lexa looked as if she’d been struck by lightning. It was clear that Lexa had never held a baby. Clarke interjected. “I know I would, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Agatha returned with the tea and poured Lexa a cup as Silver handed Clarke the baby. 

The infant slept so soundly that she didn’t even stir from being passed from Silver to Clarke. Lexa was surprised at how natural the tiny bundle looked in Clarke’s arms. Miniature pink fingers poked out from the swaddling. Lexa looked at the little white fingernail tips in wonder. Clarke rocked gently back and forth and Lexa could tell that it wasn’t the first time that her Skaigirl had held a baby. The corners of Clarke’s mouth had turned up in a wide, pure smile. Lexa had never seen such a look of peace and promise on Clarke’s face and it made her heart ache to know that a child was something that she’d never be able to give her love. Even though she knew she wasn’t any kind of authority on parenting, Lexa somehow knew that Clarke would be a great mother. It saddened her to think what Clarke would be giving up to be her partner. The Skaigirl would never be a mother, have a family of her own. These were things that Lexa had never wanted for herself. Then she realized as she looked at Clarke it wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted them, it was that she had resigned herself to the fact that as Heda she would never have them. She was shocked to find herself now wondering what Clarke’s sky blue eyes would look like staring back at her from the face of a child. Lexa drank her tea to distract herself from her melancholy thoughts. 

“I know of a proper wet nurse,” Agatha spoke as she sat in chair opposite Clarke, Lexa, and the baby. 

“I’ll see that she is rewarded well, Fostering her will not cost you anything. Well, anything monetarily,” Lexa corrected herself because she could see that it was costing them plenty emotionally. 

“Mochof, Heda,” Cruz nodded and looked at his father-in-law with some relief. It was obvious that they were not a wealthy family and at least the fostering would not be an undue financial burden.

“Clarke and I should be getting back to. . .” Lexa was interrupted by the sound of music blaring from the table behind the couch where Cruz, Silver, and the grandfather sat.

Fear flitted across the faces of every member of the family. The loud music caused the baby to rouse in Clarke’s arms but she didn’t cry out, she only stretched her arms and legs out.  
Cruz scrambled off the couch and grabbed the iphone from the table and hurried to silence it.

“Is that an Iphone?” Clarke asked.

“Sha, Clarke,” Cruz answered. He knew he was busted, there was no use in denying his sin. “I forgot I had set the alarm.”

“What kind of tech is this, Clarke?” Lexa asked as Cruz handed the rose gold phone over to Clarke.

“These were all purpose communications devices. Phones, computers. Kinda like the radios that you’ve seen Skaikru use but more advanced.,” Clarke told Lexa but she looked at Cruz confused. “But I don’t understand, this should have lost charge a hundred years ago.”

“Heda forgive me. Please, my family. This is my doing, not theirs. I will gladly accept my punishment but please, beja. Spare my family.”

“Relax, Cruz. I’m no zealot. Clarke has been teaching me of Skaikru tech. I’m not going to punish you.” Lexa promised and looked at the little device intrigued.

“But the Mayor,” 

“Leave the Mayor to me.” Lexa nodded. “Just tell us how you power it.”

“Sha, Heda. I work on the crews that scrub the Dead Zone. Occasionally, I find things. Tech things that are forbidden. If they are small enough I bring them home.”

“You’re a mechanic?” Clarke asked.

“I told you all that tinkering was going to get you into trouble,” Agatha cut a disapproving look at Cruz.

“As a said, he won’t have trouble from me,” Lexa smiled at Cruz encouraging him to continue.

“Anyway, I found an old solar charging device and fixed it up from a manual I’d found on solar energy. 

“That’s impressive,” Clarke said. “Do you have other working electronics.”

“A handful,” Cruz answered honestly and looked down shamefully.

“It’s really okay, Cruz.” Lexa tried to quell his fears. “The future is changing. We’ve always feared tech and the priests have urged us against it but I’ve learned through Clarke that sometimes our ways need to change so that our people can have happier more prosperous lives. For now, I’d prefer we keep this within your family, though. I have to present these changes to the ambassadors slowly. But I will talk to the Mayor before I leave so that you aren’t in any danger. And I encourage you to continue working with tech, develop those skills because they will be needed in our future. But as I said. Clarke and I need to be going.”

They said their goodbyes and Lexa watched pained as Clarke reluctantly handed the baby back to Silver before they made their exit. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Clarke could feel Lexa’s brooding energy all the way back to the penthouse. They spoke very little on the walk and when Clarke had tried to get conversation out of Lexa, the Commander had responded tersely. Clarke gave up halfway through the marketplace. But now that they were back in their suite she was determined to say her peace.

“What’s going on with you?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Clearly, it’s something.”

“I’m fine. I’m going to change then see the Mayor.” Lexa headed up the stairs without another look at Clarke.

Clarke looked up the stairs and thought about following her but plopped down on the sofa instead. Was it about the tech? Lexa hadn’t seemed that bothered by it. Or was it just another reminder of how much Clarke was changing her world? No, Clarke remembered that Lexa had been agitated when she’d first arrived at Silver’s house. She’d even accused Clarke of lying to her. Something had set her off before she ever got to Silver’s place. Clarke huffed and pushed herself off the couch. She couldn’t drop it. She shook her head at herself as she bounded up the stairs.

Lexa teetered between anger and sadness. She could feel tears but she refused to let them get the better of her today. She’d wanted to talk to Clarke about the dreams or visions she was having.. She wasn’t really sure what to call them. They came to her in sleep like dreams but they were prophetic like visions. But now she could hardly look Clarke in the face. She knew in her soul that she was robbing Clarke of the chance to have a family, a legacy, happiness. Lexa decided it was best to throw herself into her work. The dreams would sort themselves out and she would have to sort out her feelings for Clarke and their future. It killed her to think about a future without Clarke but she had to consider that such a future was a possibility. What would happen when Clarke realized that Lexa would not be able to give her all the things that she wanted? Maybe needed 

Lexa stopped strapping her boots on when she heard Clarke at the top of the stairs. She sat on the edge of the bed and just stared at Clarke. 

Clarke leaned against the metal railing and looked at her partner. She’d rarely seen Lexa so frustrated. Lexa was generally self-assured. Something clearly had her off kilter. “Talk to me, Lexa.”

“About what?”

“Whatever’s grieving you. And don’t say it’s nothing.”

“It’s too much.”

“What’s too much? The changes.”

“That too. I mean, I can work through those. My people will have to, eventually.”

“I know I ask too much of you. . .”

“No, Clarke. It is I who is asking too much of you.”

“You? What? What are you talking about Lexa?”

“That baby.” Lex breathed.

“So you are reconsidering?” Clarke could hardly believe her ears. She was sure that Lexa was firm in her decision that the infant would be taken from the parents, reared to battle in the conclave, maybe die.

“No, of course not.” Lexa shook her head.

“Then, what you do you mean?”

“I’m taking you from that life. I saw you with the baby and I knew. I could see your future Clarke. I could see you holding a baby with sky blue eyes. I could see it at your breast. You deserve that, Clarke. You deserve a family.”

“So do you,” Clarke answered matter-of-factly.

“That’s not a reality for me.”

“It could be. Peace brings new possibilities.” Clarke sat on the edge of the bed next to Lexa.

Lexa remembered her dreams and knew that the peace wasn’t going to last long. Trouble was on the horizon. It was senseless for them to be talking about having a family. “No, Clarke. We have to be honest with ourselves.”

“I won’t let you go because of some imagined future scenario, Lexa. I love you. That’s all I know. And for now, it’s all I need to know.

“Clarke.”

“Shhh,” Clarke pushed Lexa down on the bed and straddled her. She closed her mouth over Lexa’s cutting off any protest. When she sat back up, she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it across the room. “Do you want to let go of this?” 

Lexa shook her head. Clarke brought Lexa’s hands up to her breasts. As Lexa massaged Clarke’s breasts, Clarke slid her hand beneath the band of Lexa’s trousers. “Mmm,” Clarke hummed. “Even when you are frustrated, you are so wet for me, Lexa.”

Lexa bucked her vulva up into Clarke’s hand. She couldn’t deny that she wanted Clarke. More than that, she couldn’t deny her need. Clarke always had a way of knowing what she needed before she herself even knew it. Now was no exception. “Lay back Lexa. Relax. Let me take care of you.” Clarke fingered open the button of Lexa’s pants. 

Lexa closed her eyes and let herself sink into the mattress as Clarke took her away from the cares of the world.


	11. Foreboding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise visitors bring chaos to SanFe.

The Commanders were there again in Lexa’s dream. Bekka was there. She guided Lexa down a bright corridor. It was too white, too light. Unnatural. Sterile. Nothing here was organic. Lexa didn’t like the place much. It felt false. They reached a door at the end of the hallway and Bekka waved a keycard over the lock sensor but then it all faded away as Lexa awoke. 

She could feel Clarke’s warm mouth on her. Lexa’s eyes fluttered open and she cast them down her body to where her lover kissed her most intimate place. Clarke’s blue eyes gleamed with playful hunger. “Good morning, Lexa.”

“Mmmmmm, morning,” Lexa gave in to the ecstacy of Clarke’s attention and let her legs fall farther apart. 

“I couldn’t wait for you to wake up. I needed to taste you.” Clarke hummed the words over Lexa’s nether lips as she slicked her tongue up them and settled onto her clit where she pressed lazy circles over the bundle of nerves.

Lexa’s dream was quickly forgotten as the tension in her center rose toward climax. 

After Lexa fell limp onto the mattress and worked to reclaim a normal breathing pattern, Clarke sidled up beside her with a satisfied grin. 

Lexa looked over at the blonde. “You’re pretty full of yourself right now, aren’t you?”

“Well, it is nice to know that I can make you come so easily. I’m fairly new at this, you know.”

“You’re fairly gifted at it, I would say.”

“A natural pussy licker!”

“Don’t get too full of yourself, Clarke.”

“I’d rather be full of you,” Clarke teased but blushed a little at her audacity. 

“Oh that can be arranged,” Lexa rolled onto her side and ran her hands between Clarke’s legs. “Licking me makes you wet, doesn’t it, Clarke?”

“Yes,” Clarke panted.

“Tell me, when you took your boyfriends into your mouth, did it do this to you?”

“What?” 

“I was just wondering if it’s me you like pleasuring or if you just like servicing in general?”

Clarke studied Lexa’s deep green eyes. “I”ve never done what you’re suggesting.”

“You’ve never sucked dick? Not even Finn?”

“No, Not even Finn.”

“Well, would you like to suck mine?”

“What?” 

“The dildo. Would you take it into your mouth?” Lexa asked.

“Would you like that?”

“I think I would. Go get the dick, Clarke.” Clarke took the leather covered phallus from Lexa’s bag and helped Lexa step into the straps. When the harness was securely fastened around Lexa’s hips and over her inner thighs, Clarke went down on her knees in front of Heda.

Clarke stroked the cock softly as she imagined she would’ve if it had been one of flesh and blood, before she took it in her mouth. While she moved up and down the tool, she let her fingers caress along Lexa’s lips, she felt Heda’s vulva go oily for her again and the thought that she could bring Lexa so much pleasure sent waves of her own juices coursing from her opening. 

Clarke kissed down the shaft and over the rounded knobs that served as balls. She couldn’t resist stealing another taste of Lexa’s sweet nectar.

“Mmmm, get up, Clarke,” Watching Clarke pleasure the cock coupled with the feel of Clarke’s tongue probing at her labia again had ratcheted Lexa’s tension up for another release. “Bend over the bed.”

“Yes, Heda,” Clarke moved as Lexa directed, laying her belly on the bed and sticking her rounded ass in the air. Lexa moved the fleshy but toned globes apart so that she could see Clarke’s pink asshole and her slicker opening. Lexa ran the head of the dildo through Clarke’s juices before thrusting the cock in.

The rough stretch caused Clarke to fist the sheets in her hand. It had been hard but not unpleasant. “I’m gonna ride you hard, Skaigirl,” Lexa warned before she dug her fingers into Clarke’s hips and started hammering away. 

Clarke pushed back against Lexa’s strong thrusts. Soon it felt as if they were at war trying to see who could fuck whom the hardest. When Lexa felt the pressure against her clit becoming near unbearable, she decided to up the ante. She wanted to make Clarke come before she got there herself. She put her own finger in her mouth and wet it liberally. She rubbed the wet digit along Clarke’s perineum as she continued to fuck her lover mercilessly. She could tell Clarke was getting close. It was becoming more difficult to force the cock in as Clarke swelled around the phallus. Lexa pushed her finger into Clarke’s ass.

The feeling of being filled to the gills was too much for Clarke. She snaked her hand between the mattress and her belly then with a couple of quick swipes across her clit, she came undone. She could barely make out Lexa crying out her orgasm over her own panting and moaning. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

They decided to breakfast on the terrace. Lexa watched bemused at Clarke’s appetite as the blonde finished her eggs and lizard. “Someone was hungry.”

“Someone made me burn a lot of energy.”

“If I recall, you were the one who started it,” Lexa cocked an eyebrow. 

“Point taken,” Clarke smiled as she drank the last of her milk. “What’s today’s agenda?”

“The Mayor and I are visiting the armory and she wants to discuss some new water purification processes that they have developed here. She’s done an amazing job with refurbishing the city streets and I noticed several improvements in housing when I was looking for you yesterday.”

“She does seem rather popular. Do you worry about her loyalty?”

“Not so much. When people are content they are less likely to rise up against the establishment. The citizens here like her, that much is certain and they are enjoying the benefits of her policies, but they know that she rules because I allow it. So, in many ways, her achievements are seen as Heda’s.”

“Doesn’t seem fair,” Clarke moved in behind Lexa and started tidying up the Commander’s braids.

“Maybe not, but it’s our way.”

A flash of light bouncing off of something in the desert in the distance temporarily blinded Lexa. She blinked and the jumped up causing Clarke to pull her hair. She didn’t even register the pain.

“Lexa?” Clarke called, caught of guard.

“Come here, Clarke. Do you see that?”

Clarke looked to where Lexa pointed. But she didn’t see anything but rolling hills of sand and scrub. 

“There, there it is again,” Lexa said.

Clarke looked again and then she saw it. She squinted to be sure. “What the hell?”

“Is that what I think it is?” Lexa asked.

“It is! Something’s happened.”

Lexa remembered her dreams. The Commanders had been trying to warn her that danger was on the horizon. She dreamed of the Commanders two days in a row now. She hadn’t had time to consider last night’s dream. And the previous night’s dreams had been dark and murky but filled with foreboding. She wished she taken the time to talk to Clarke about her dreams. And now it appeared that whatever Bekka had been trying to warn her about was coming to pass. 

“Lexa,” Clarke called, snapping her out of her inner world. Clarke was pulling on her boots. She tossed Lexa her pants. “They’ll be here soon, we should head them off if we can. I take it no one here has ever seen a rover.”

“Probably not,” Lexa concurred. Clarke was right. If Skaikru came rolling into SanFe with the loud vehicle it might cause a panic. “But I need to give the Mayor a heads up.”

“You do that, I’ll grab a horse and ride out to meet them.”

Lexa couldn’t shake the feeling that Clarke was somehow in danger. She couldn’t let her go alone.  
“No, I’ll explain it to her when we know more.”

“Lexa, if you do that, she’ll think you are keeping something from her. We don’t have time to argue.” Clarke was already dressed and Lexa still had to buckle her boots. 

Clarke grabbed a quick kiss and then started for the spiral stairs.

“Clarke, please. Please wait. I can’t explain it but I need you to stay with me.”

Clarke eyed Lexa warily. “Do you know something I don’t? Have you been keeping something from me?”

“Not exactly. Just please. Let’s go together.”

“You don’t trust me? You think I can’t take care of myself?”

“No, it’s not that. Well maybe,” Lexa reluctantly confessed. “It’s not that I don’t think you are capable, it’s just that the Commanders have been trying to warn me in my dreams.”

“But those are just dreams,” Clarke decided it would be quicker to help Lexa finish her buckles.

“Don’t dismiss our beliefs so easily, Clarke,” It hurt Lexa that Clarke didn’t take her connection to the previous Commanders seriously. 

“I’m sorry. We don’t have time for this, Lexa.”

“Let’s go,” Lexa finished the last buckle and grabbed her sword and knife.

ࠗ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

They were too late. By the time they made it downstairs, word had already reached the Mayor that an enemy was at their gates. The Mayor had already ordered the city to be put on lockdown and had sent a force out to see who the intruders were. She informed Lexa that she was just about to send a messenger to tell her they might be under attack.

“Send someone to call back your troops.” Lexa ordered. “We believe them to be Skaikru. Clarke and I will wait for them at the gates. But keep everyone inside until we give notice. Also, keep a detail to cover us just in case they prove to be hostile.”

Clarke looked at Lexa oddly. She wondered again if Lexa had intel that she hadn’t shared with her. 

“Let’s go, Clarke.” Lexa was in full Heda mode.

Soon, the duo stood at the front gates awaiting the rover. When it rolled into sight at less than half its speed capacity, Clarke was grateful that the driver had the sense to approach the city cautiously. Then as, Octavia bounded out of passenger side and ran at her full speed she doubted caution had been part of the equation. To Clarke’s utter amazement, it wasn’t a Skaiperson who opened the driver’s side door. Instead, it was Lincoln. The look on his face told her all she needed to know. Something had gone terribly wrong in their absence.

“Octavia, Lincoln,” Clarke called.

Octavia yelled as she ran, “Clarke, it’s Bell. You have to come.”

“What’s happened, Octavia?” Lexa demanded.

“It’s Bell - Bellamy, my brother.”

Lexa knew who Bellamy was, but she understood Octavia’s confusion for what it was. Fear. 

“Go ahead,” Lexa encouraged.

“They are going to kill him.”

 

“What?” Clarke looked from O to Lincoln. “What is she talking about?”

“Bellamy and a few of Pike’s old followers took some more of the vehicles from the old Mt. Weather garage. They were caught hunting from them on Azgeda land. Azgeda demands justice.”

“But Roan wouldn’t dare make a demand with me away from the capital.” Lexa protested.

“Heda, King Roan has died.”

“What? Why wasn’t I informed?”

“I was told they sent a messenger,” Lincoln’s lip curled.

“He had no heir,” Lexa answered.

“Ontari has risen to the throne. She’s claiming that her Nightblood gives her the right. Many in Azgeda follow her because of her relationship to Nia. It will take a war or assassination to remover her, I’m afraid.”

“I see. And she is in the capital, demanding Bellamy’s death?” Lexa was beginning to get the lay of the land.

“She is, Heda. Monty is doing his best to hold him off as is Titus, but I believe Titus is swayable.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is,” Lexa knew that her Fleimkeppa had no love for the Skaipeople.

“We will ride at once.” Lexa looked over her shoulder and gestured to one of her gonas.

Clarke pulled Lexa aside. “The horses?”

“Of course.”

“Lexa, there is no time for that. We have to take the rover.”

“That may be a problem, Clarke,” Lincoln answered and eyed Octavia carefully. He wished he could do more for his love. It was he who had insisted that Octavia come with him to SanFe. He had been afraid if she’d stayed with Bellamy that she would have done something that would have caused her to be executed herself. He’d told her that he needed her to come to drive the rover and to teach him how to do it. And she’d agreed only because Monty refused to abandon his post as ambassador pro tem. Lincoln knew that if Bellamy was dead when they got back to Polis that Octavia would never forgive him. He wasn’t sure their relationship would be able to survive such a blow.

“Why, Lincoln? What haven’t you told us?” Clarke asked.

“We got caught in a windstorm this morning. Two of the solar panels were damaged. The rover is not at speed.”

“Still, it’s faster than the horses,” Clarke answered.

“Not by much,” Octavia shrugged. “I just know we are too late.”

“Don’t think like that, Octavia. I won’t have it.” Clarke called.

“I’m not in the mood for orders from you right now, Clarke.”

“Cruz,” Lexa called and looked at Clarke. “Clarke, do you think Cruz could fix those panels?”

Clarke smiled. It was the first ray of hope. “It’s worth a try. O and I will ride ahead on the horses and you Lincoln stay here and let Cruz have a go at the panels. If he fixes them you will catch up with us in no time. But if we are dependent on the horses then we have to leave now.”

Panic gripped Lexa. She couldn’t let Clarke leave, not without her. “No, Lincoln, you know how to drive that monstrosity, right?”

“Sha Heda.” 

“Good, then you will stay here while Cruz works on the panels and the three of us will go. It will do you no good to ride into Polis without me, Clarke.”

“She’s right,” Octavia nodded. “Only Heda can stop the execution.”

“You’re right,” Clarke conceded. “I’ll stay with Lincoln. You go with O.”

Lexa gritted her teeth. How was she going to argue with that alternative without looking like she didn’t trust Clarke to look after herself? “Fine, but get Cruz and hurry.”

Clarke ran into Lexa’s arms without regard to the fact that half the city was now watching from over the city walls. She pulled the Commander into her arms and then kissed her openly. “May we meet again.”

“May we meet again,” Lexa echoed and then saw her gona’s coming with her horses. 

Octavia grabbed two backpacks from out of the rover, she tossed one to Lexa. “Do you have everything you need?”

Lexa looked at Clarke. The answer was clearly no. She was leaving Clarke behind, how could she have everything she needed? “Is there a canteen in here?”

“There is, as well as dried food and a bedroll.” 

“Then I’m good,” Lexa mounted her horse, Octavia took Clarke’s usual mount and with a guard of four men, Lexa and Octavia rode out the way the rover had came. 

Lexa took one last glance back to the city gates to have another look at Clarke but Clarke was gone, she’d already rushed off to find Cruz.


	12. Highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and O ride back to Polis, while Lincoln and Clarke work to get the rover fixed and join back up with their partners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a transitional chapter. Hotter Clexa action in the next chapter.

Lexa had sent two of her gonas ahead as an advanced guard. The other two warriors rode just behind Lexa and Octavia. In the hours that they'd ridden, there had been little conversation except for Lexa’s occasional order for Octavia to give her horse a breather. The girl, who Lexa had come to think of as half-Grounder, half-Skaikru, was driven by the very real fear that her brother might be dead by the time they got back to Polis. Lexa didn’t know much about Ontari. She'd first come to know of the NIghtbleeder's existence when the young Azgeda girl was being used as a pawn against Lexa. But she’d known Ontari's mentor, Nia, all too well. And, if the protege was anything like the teacher then Ontari would be savage and unpredictable. Lexa wasn’t liking Bellamy’s chances if he was at Ontari's mercy, but she wasn’t about to tell Octavia that. 

“What’s taking them so long?” Octavia spoke her thoughts out loud as she dug her heels into the mares to urge it to move faster. When they'd left SanFe on horseback, Octavia had been nearly certain that Clarke and Lincoln would catch up with them on the rover long before nightfall but the sun was warm on their backs now and sinking low toward the horizon.

“They’ll be along. Killing the horse before they get here will not get you to Polis any quicker and it will not help Bellamy.” Lexa reminded.

“I just hope if they aren’t able to fix the rover quickly that they’ll just come on. Even with half the solar panels working, the rover will still be quicker than the horses. We should’ve just waited.”

“You can’t second guess yourself now, Octavia. But if you want, we can make camp and wait for them,” Lexa offered.

“Is that what you would do?”

“No, I’d keep moving, just in case. The horses will take weeks to get there but I think we should keep riding.”

“Good. I’m glad we agree on something.” Octavia snapped the reins.

“When did all of this happen?”

Lexa watched as Octavia counted the days in her head. Her blue eyes made even bluer by the clear afternoon sky reflecting in them. “Five days ago.”

“Roan?”

“I’m not sure. We only found out when Ontari came into Arkadia and demanded Bellamy’s arrest.” Octavia spoke louder to be heard over the horses’ hooves which pounded louder as they made their way onto what was once a great interstate highway. A scorched blue sign with the number 40 dangled from a metal pole. 

“Who was with her? The Azgeda royal guard?”

“Yes, they stand behind her because Roan hadn’t named an heir.”

"Any Azgeda defectors?"

"Echo maybe," Octavia speculated. "According to Lincoln's sources, she and a few others have been missing since Ontari came to power. 

Lexa watched the road ahead as she considered the information. It was possible that Echo had fled Azgeda, not wanting to answer to Ontari. But as Azgeda's most formidable warrior with Roan dead, it was just as easy to believe that Ontari had her assassinated as a possible challenger. Lexa shook her head. It was frustrating to be so far away from her capital. She looked ahead at the miles they still had in front of them. She could see that the rover had traveled this way on its way to SanFe. It had trampled down the desert scrub that had sprouted through the asphalt. It reminded her of all the destruction that the Skaipeople had brought down to Earth with them. “Bellamy was wrong to take the trucks without prior approval.”

Lexa’s words caused Octavia to slow down. “Does he deserve to die for that?”

“There was a time that I would’ve thought such an offense punishable by death, but now. Now, I realize that some of our penalties can be too harsh.”

“Taking those vehicles wasn’t a blood offense.” Octavia’s spine stiffened as she came to her brother’s defense.

"No, it wasn't," Lexa conceded and then they fell into a comfortable silence once more. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Clarke grabbed the handle just above the passenger’s side window as LIncoln hit a divot in the desert floor. It had taken Cruz longer than Clarke had expected to repair the vehicle. The delay hadn’t been caused by a lack of knowledge on his part, but by a lack of materials. They’d lost over an hour driving to the Dead Zone, gathering old solar panels, and then driving back to SanFe. Clarke had been surprised by the sheer amount of panels that lay exposed and unused in the Dead Zone. Clarke realized that the panels that peaked out from beneath layers of sand and scrub had once been a vast solar farm. As she’d looked at the energy field, Clarke had mused how sad it was that the people of the 21st century had built such great technical marvels to save the planet from global warming only to have their descendants end up being annihilated by a technological marvel, artificial intelligence. Lincoln hit another bump. The baby cried from the back of the rover.

Clarke turned to see the family huddled together. Silver looked scared out of her wits. Cruz looked like a kid on Christmas morning. His excitement would have been infectious, if Clarke wasn’t worried about how Lexa was going to react to the fact that she’d brought the family along. The baby, Alexandra, had travelled quietly so far but the road seemed to be getting bumpier and all of the jostling caused her to lose her grip on her mother’s tit. 

“How many days until we reach the capital?” Cruz asked.

“If the weather keeps and your repairs hold, we should be there in no less than four days, three if luck is on our side,” Lincoln answered Cruz, but then looked at Clarke as if to say, ‘when is luck ever on our side?’

Clarke smiled at Lincoln silently. They’d certainly weathered their fair share of hardships together. Clarke reached out and squeezed Lincoln’s hand. She wasn’t sure when she’d come to think of him as a brother but she realized in that moment, that she had. Lincoln returned Clarke’s smile but never took his eyes off of the desert in front of him.

“There are other things like this?” Cruz waved his hand around the interior of the rover. “In the capital?”

“Not in the capital. But in my people’s camp. It’s a long story but my people lived in the sky for a hundred years.”

“We’ve heard stories. Most people don’t put much stock in them,” Silver said as she rocked the baby soothingly back to sleep.

“I’m sure the stories are as much legend as truth. We are human just like you.” Clarke assured.

“So the one called Wanheda, she doesn’t breathe fire?”

Lincoln suppressed a grin and looked at Clarke from the corner of his eye.

“I’m the one called Wanheda, and no, i don’t breathe fire.”

“It is said that you single-handedly burned three hundred of Heda’s warriors alive and that you slayed the mountain with the swipe of a hand.” Cruz took a swig of water from his canteen and then offered it to Clarke. 

Clarke took a swallow and replied, “I promise you that i’ve done nothing single-handedly. Or with such great ease.”

“Still, you’ve earned Heda’s respect. You must have powerful magic,” Silver whispered, she’d finally got the baby to sleep.

“It wasn’t magic. We’ve been working together to keep peace between our people. It’s been a lot of give and take and we’ve had our share of ups and downs but we’ve reached a place of mutual respect and trust.”

“Here’s the highway,” Lincoln called as the rover glided smoothly onto the asphalt. “They can’t be far now.”

Clarke turned around and looked out the windshield and the long straight road in front of them. She knew that her bringing along Cruz and his family was going to be one more thing to shake the respect and trust that she and Lexa had built. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Lexa heard the rumble of the rover on the highway behind them. For a split second she mistook the sound of the tires rolling against the pavement as distant thunder, but she quickly understood the odd noise for what it was. Octavia heard the truck nearly as soon as Lexa did and pulled her horse to a dead stop. Lexa threw her hand in the air, indicating to her gonas that they were taking a rest. 

By the time they all dismounted, the rover’s headlights could be seen coming ever closer on the cracked interstate. Lexa’s insides did a happy dance. She hadn’t been too keen on parting with Clarke when she and Octavia had set out from SanFe. Recently, her dreams had been murky but dark, and full of foreboding. From past experience, she knew that such dreams meant that trouble was on the horizon. The Commander’s were warning her. Of what, she had no idea. Still, the dreams worried her enough that she was concerned for Clarke’s safety, and she didn’t want her partner out of her sight any more than was absolutely necessary. 

Lexa smiled and felt her insides relax when she saw Clarke through the rover’s windshield. Lexa looked at Octavia who was equally happy to have Lincoln back at her own side. But Octavia had little time for reunions, she went to work gathering her pack from the horse’s back. Lexa called to the gona’s who’d accompanied them, “You’ll take the horses back to SanFe.” Lexa reached into her overcoat and pulled out a note. “Give this to the Mayor. Take a day of rest, then resupply, and guide the remainder of our party back to Polis.” 

“Sha, Heda,” the gonas nodded.

Lexa grabbed her own pack from her horse as the rover finally rolled to a stop. Lexa restrained herself from running to Clarke as the blonde opened the rover door and hopped out onto the pavement. 

“What took you so long?” Octavia asked gruffly as she walked past Clarke toward the back of the rover.

Clarke sighed and looked at Lexa. She understood Octavia’s frustration but she didn’t understand exactly why she was taking it out on her. 

“She’s worried about her brother, Give her a pass,” Lexa called as she pulled Clarke into a hug. Lexa held Clarke tighter and longer than she’d meant to. She hadn’t expected the small gesture to be quite so reassuring but it was and that fact shook something deep inside Lexa’s core. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything to her. You okay?” Clarke had picked up on Lexa’s emotions.

“Of course. Just anxious to get back to Polis.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She was anxious about returning to Polis but not in the excited, anticipatory way that she’d made it sound. She was anxious about what she was going to find when they got to Polis. She knew that an armed conflict with Azgeda was likely inevitable which meant that she and Clarke would be tested by the fires of war, once again. She feared that this time, one of them might not come out alive. Lexa thought how silly they’d been to entertain dreams of ever having a family. What hard Clarke said to her in SanFe? “Peace brings new possibilities.” Maybe peace did bring new possibilities but it was Lexa’s experience that peace never lasted long. She shook of her negative thoughts. 

“What the fu—” Octavia called as she opened the back of the rover. Octavia’s abrupt outburst woke the baby who started wailing.

“Clarke?” Lexa took in a deep breath and closed her eyes trying her best to find her patience. 

“Lexa, before you say anything. Hear me out! We needed someone who knows how to fix the rover in case any more of the panels get damaged. Cruz can do that. He had this thing running at top speed within a couple of hours. It actually took more time to recover the solar panels and clean them up than it did for him to get them on the rover.”

“But—”

“The baby had to be brought to Polis anyway, right? I mean you are going to turn her over to Titus for training.”

Lexa licked her lips and then pressed them together. Clarke had seen the tic before and it usually only came when Lexa was trying desperately not to lose her temper. So Clarke continued, “they hadn’t found a wet nurse yet, so I suggested that Silver come along. We can always find them work in Polis or even Arkadia. Someone with his mechanical skills would be seen as an asset in Arkadia.”

“There is not time to argue about it, either way, Clarke.”

“So you won’t send them back to SanFe?”

Lexa looked to the two gonas. There were two extra horses now that Lexa and Octavia were riding the rest of the way in the rover. But Clarke had a good point about Cruz. He knew how to fix the panels and the rest of them would have to hoof it back to Polis if the rover crapped out on them en route. Still, she could send Silver and the baby back to SanFe. Lexa looked back to Clarke. “Fine.”

While Clarke and Lexa had worked it out between themselves, Lincoln had filled Octavia in on the situation. O tossed her bag into the back of the rover and then walked to the passenger-side door. “Shotgun!” She called to Clarke and Lexa.

“What?” Lexa looked at Clarke perplexed.

“It’s a saying. It means she’s gonna ride up front.”

“So, we are in the back.”

“Looks that way.”

“Come on, Clarke.” Lexa took Clarke’s hand, it was her way of saying that things were okay between them even if she wasn’t happy that Clarke had brought Cruz’s family along for the ride. They climbed into the back of the rover together and when Clarke had bolted the door shut, Lincoln pressed the accelerator and they were off for Polis.


	13. Eternal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road to Polis is long. The travelers need a break.

They’d been on the road for two days when they came upon the wide, muddy river. Rusted twin trestles spanned the bridge that rose 100 feet over the lazy water below. Clarke who’d taking over driving to give Lincoln a break, pulled the rover to a stop just shy of the bridge. Being an inexperienced driver, Clarke had hit the brakes too hard, causing everyone in the vehicle to lurch forward. 

“Sorry.” Clarke flushed in embarrassment as she watched Lexa rubbed the red mark that the seatbelt had left along her neck. 

“Why are you stopping?” Lexa asked. 

“I’m not driving over that.” Clarke pointed to the bridge.

“Why not? We rode over it to get here, didn’t we?” Lexa hadn’t been crazy about travelling in the rover at first, but even she had to admit that it was much more efficient for long distance travel than were the horses. 

“We were on horseback, Lexa.” 

“You came from space, Clarke. You literally lived in a man-made colony in outer space, and you are afraid to cross a rickety old bridge.”

“What’s going on?” Octavia rubbed the sleep from her eyes as her head popped up between the driver and passenger seat.

“Clarke doesn’t want to drive over the bridge.” Lexa said.

“Why not?” Octavia asked.

“Look at it,” Clarke gestured wildly at the bridge. “What if it can’t support the weight of the rover?”

“O and I came over at top speed without any problem,” Lincoln pointed out. 

“Right,” Clarke responded. She looked at her passengers. No one else seemed the least bit concerned.

“If you want, I’ll drive,” Lexa offered. Clarke looked at her incredulously. Lexa had yet to take a turn at driving the rover. Clarke certainly wasn’t going to ride over the bridge with Lexa at the wheel. “It can’t be harder than controlling a horse,” Lexa added. 

Finally, Clarke realized that they were all right and she was being irrational. She turned and white-knuckle gripped the steering wheel before letting her foot off the brake. When they’d made it to the east side of the riverbank, Clarke loosened her hold on the steering wheel and she noticed with some mirth that Lexa released a breath of relief. For all her talk and bravado, Lexa had been a little nervous about the bridge too. Clarke cut her a knowing look and Lexa shot her back at look that said if you say anything, I’ll kill you. 

“We should hunt here in these river bottoms,” Octavia suggested.

“She’s right.” Lexa agreed. They’d eaten most of the rations they’d brought with them from SanFe. They still had a least another day of driving ahead of them. Silver would need a decent meal, she was burning more calories since her body was feeding the baby as well as itself. “The Heda of Rivers is known for its abundant wildlife. Octavia, you and Lincoln see to finding us some meat. I know of a nearby spring, Clarke and I will refill the water skins and canteens. We will also rustle up some herbs and berries.”

Clarke hit the brakes more gently this time and pulled the rover to a complete stop in the middle of the empty interstate. 

“Cruz are you comfortable guarding the rover?” Lexa looked to family in the back of the truck. They hadn’t seen another human for miles but Lexa knew full well that bandits roved throughout the wild places in her kingdom. And the ruins of Memphis were certainly a wild place. She’d heard stories growing up about the tremendous earthquakes that devastated what was left of the population after the apocalypse. She knew more than any of them what an anomaly it was that the bridge they’d just crossed was actually standing. The jarring quakes and the natural gas explosions that accompanied them had convinced people that the area was inhospitable for humans. Other animals and plants, however, had no qualms about making the lush river bottoms home. Massive trees had taken over where skyscrapers had once risen proudly as testaments to man’s mastery over the Earth. Coyotes and wolves were now the only voices howling the blues along Beale Street. But even with the city being taken over by the natural elements, Lexa knew that outlaws and outcasts still roamed the place. Only two years prior, she’d had to send a squad of gonas to take out a group of ruffians who’d lain claim to the bridge and were charging travellers a toll to pass over. 

Cruz patted the sword at his hip, “Sha Heda.”

“Good, let’s get moving.” Lexa opened the passenger door and dropped to the asphalt. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

It hadn’t taken Lexa long to locate the source of the cool crisp spring. Lexa lowered to her haunches and started refilling their skins. Clarke watched Lexa’s hands place the plug in one of the skins. She knew they needed to talk about Cruz, Silver, and the baby. Lexa was less than pleased about their travelling companions, that much Clarke knew. But Lexa had held her tongue. She’d treated the family with respect and hadn’t given Clarke the cold shoulder. But still, Clarke couldn’t help but fear that a good lashing was coming her way as soon as Lexa could spare the energy for it. Clarke figured she might as well try to get it over while they were away from everyone else.

“Lexa, I only did what I thought was fair and reasonable.”

“I know that, Clarke. I just hope that by bringing Silver and the baby with us that you haven’t given them a false sense of hope regarding Alexandra’s future. I’ll be delivering the baby to Titus when we get to Polis. You are free to work out arrangements for Cruz and Silver to stay in Arkadia if that is what they want. They can even stay in Polis, if they choose. But, they may find it more difficult to be so close to the child and still not be able to a play a role in her life.”  
Clarke hadn’t considered that she might be doing more damage than good. It seemed that Lexa was more committed to the traditional Natblida training than Clarke had considered. She’d hoped that she’d be able to get Lexa to reconsider some of the more barbaric elements of the tradition, such as ripping a child from its parents, and, of course, the Conclave. “If Night Blood is so precious, then why do you kill them regularly?” Clarke hadn’t meant to ask the question out loud.

“That’s what’s really bothering you, isn’t it? You look at Alexandra and all you see is a violent end. Have you considered that she might be victorious and become Heda someday.”

“I don’t want to think about that day, really. Because it would mean that you were no longer with me. But also, Lexa, as I’m sure you know, even if she wins the Conclave, She’ll have to live with the lives she cut short.”

Lexa swallowed hard and looked to the ground. “You’ll never understand us, I fear. Not fully. I don’t take lightly the lives that I took but they were sacrifices to the Commander. She chose me to lead our people but in choosing she had to know who was the most worthy. And the price of that is the Night Blood. And the reason it is so precious, as you say, is because of that sacrifice.”

“But Lexa. . .”

“Clarke, can we talk about this later?I don’t want to spend our last moments alone for a while like this.”

Clarke nodded.

“When we get back to Polis things are going to be a mess. Even if we get there in time to save Bellamy. Between you and me, I assume he’s already been executed. We will still have to deal with Ontari’s coup.” 

“You’re right. I don’t want to fight.”

“So right now, let’s just enjoy each other’s company.” Lexa laid the canteens down on the ground and then wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist.

“What did you have in mind?” Clarke smiled.

Lexa's face fell. She knew dark days lay ahead of them. Warm days of lazing in each other's company would be nothing but cherished memories. And the hope for their return would be the solace that would keep her going. 

"Lexa, what is it?" Clarke could see the grim brow that distorted her love's perfect face.

"I feel the war drums pounding in my soul, hear the horns blaring in my ears."

"Maybe it won't come to war," Clarke said hopefully and twined her arms around Lexa's neck.

"It will. The Commander's, they've been warning me in my sleep."

"Nothing is fated Lexa. We have worked hard for this peace, I won't accept that Ontari can unravel it all so effortlessly."

"Azgeda is less forgiving than the other clans, Clarke. More blood thirsty. If she has stoked them to more hatred of Skaikru then they'll be ready for a fight. They already mistrust Trikru because of the years of fighting between our people. Roan willed them into accepting our alliance. With him gone, it will likely take a show of force to keep them in the coalition." Lexa exhaled a long frustrated breath. "But we can deal with that when we get back to Polis. I want to spend the next few minutes pretending that you and I are the only people in the world."

"Yeah?" Clarke's insides tightened at the anticipation of Lexa's undivided attention.

"I wish we had forever," Lexa leaned in and cooed in Clarke's ear. The felling of the warm breath on her skin sent goose flesh pebbling down the back of Clarke's neck. The electric sensation continued its way down her spine as Lexa started kissing the delicate flesh between her collarbone and chin.

“We have right now, Lexa.” Clarke breathed as she threw her head back to give Lexa better access to her throat. There was nothing like the feel of Lexa’s mouth on her. It felt like Heaven every time. Clarke let herself fall into the feeling but then Lexa pulled away leaving Clarke aching for more. 

Lexa grinned at the sight of Clarke standing there welcoming the ravishing. 

“Lexa?”

“I’m just putting this down for us to lay on. Don’t worry, I’ll get back to what I was doing.” Lexa took off her outer coat and spread it over a flat spot of ground. When she turned back to Clarke, she didn’t waste any time. She reached for the hem of Clarke’s top and pulled at it. “This has got to go.”

Clarke helped Lexa pull the shirt off and then quickly kicked off her boots and shimmied out of her pants. Something about standing in the deep woods wearing nothing but her socks and panties felt intensely erotic. The rich foliage of the verdant woods played in Lexa’s eyes making them greener than Clarke had ever seen them as they took in every creamy inch of Clarke’s wondrous flesh. 

Lexa knew she’d never tire of seeing Clarke bare and open, willing Lexa to touch her. Lexa had been with her fair share of women. After Costia, she’d vowed not to take a steady partner but a woman still had needs. She’d grown used to one-night affairs and meaningless sex. Clarke had upset all of that. She’d made Lexa feel again. Lexa had almost forgotten that sex was more than a release, that it was meant to be a deep and bonding act. But every time she lay with Clarke, she was reminded of the eternal. Their coupling felt like something sacred to her. “Lay down, love.” Lexa’s whisper was carried on the wind rustling through the leaves. Clarke felt the words as much as she heard them and her body reacted to them by sending her center pulsing anew. 

Lexa took off her own clothes before laying on the makeshift pallet next to Clarke. Clarke pulled Lexa’s mouth to her own. She was driven both by her need and the lack of time. Lexa let Clarke have the kiss but then wrested control away from Clarke by mounting the blonde and pushing her arms above her head. Clarke’s knees fell apart as Lexa settled in between them. Any hope Lexa had of prolonging their lovemaking was forgotten as she looked at Clarke beneath her with her long hair fanned out around her flushed face, her lips reddened from kissing, her breasts swollen and peaked with desire. Lexa started rocking her hips, pushing her mound against Clarke’s. Clarke eagerly rocked back, their engorged clits knocking against one another. It didn’t take long for the long, rhythmic motion to be replace by a more frantic grinding. Their mingled wetness only added heat to the flames already burning deep within them. Clarke cried out first, her moans carrying to the leafy canopy overhead. Lexa came, biting her bottom lip to keep her wails internal. Still, before her orgasm finished it’s last ripple even Lexa couldn’t hold back a growl of pure satisfaction. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

When they returned to rover, they found Octavia and Lincoln had built a cooking fire and were cleaning squirrel. Lexa handed Lincoln a bunch of wild onions to season the squirrel with while Clarke divied up the wild blackberries that they’d picked after they’d made love. Everyone was happy for the fresh food after spending the last two days noshing on dried food bars. 

“How you holding up?” Clarke asked as she gave Octavia her share of the blackberries.

“If she’s killed him, Clarke. . .”

“I know,” Clarke cut Octavia off before she could voice the violence that she would unleash on Ontari if Bellamy was dead.

“I mean it.”

“Octavia, Bellamy is smart. So is Monty. They’ll be fine. We’ll be there tomorrow, hopefully.” Clarke hadn’t lied. Bellamy was smart. His problem was that he often gave into his fear and anger. She could only hope that he’d kept his cool with Ontari because she was the less-than-patient type and wouldn’t likely suffer his temper. Monty usually kept a cooler head than Bellamy but Clarke doubted that Ontari would take Monty seriously because he didn’t have a threatening bone in his body.  
Lexa watched the interchange between the two women. She knew Clarke was trying to reassure herself as much as Octavia. Personally, Lexa didn’t like Bellamy’s odds but she knew that it was fruitless to ruminate on such things. They wouldn’t know anything for certain until they returned to Polis.

“Heda, do you mind?” Cruz held up the old Iphone to Lexa.

“Do I mind what?”

“If I play some music?” 

“Cruz, it isn’t allowed,” Silver called. She couldn’t believe her husband would deign to ask the Commander of the Clans if he could use his forbidden tech.

“Actually,” Lexa looked back to Clarke and Octavia. “I think some music is exactly what we need.”

“Mochof, Heda.” Cruz smiled and pressed the play button on the Iphone’s music player.

Miley Cyrus’ voice drawled out of the little speaker:

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain  
We jumped, never asking why  
We kissed, I fell under your spell  
A love no one could deny

As the words of the song rolled over her, Lexa looked at Clarke and hoped that their story had a happier ending.


	14. Cruel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Polis is in sight!

In the rosy light of dawn, Lexa could see the tower of Polis come into view through the rover’s bug-splattered windshield. She reached behind her seat and tenderly nudged Clarke awake. “We are almost there.” Clarke rubbed her eyes and stretched out her arms. She looked at the rover’s instrument panel, Octavia was pushing the truck to its full capacity. She hoped that O got ahold of her emotions before they made it to the center of the city.

“What’s that?” Octavia called as she squinted through the windshield.

“Stop!” Lexa ordered.

Clarke craned her neck up high to see what had caused the alarm. Clarke barely had time to register the line of eight heavily armored warriors blocking the roadway before the rover pulled to a stop and Lexa bounded out of the vehicle. Clarke scrambled up over the seat and followed her partner. She heard the rover door shut behind her and knew that Octavia was joining them. 

“Chit ste gon disha?” Lexa demanded to know why there was a blockade blocking the main road into Polis.

“Ontari ordered em,” one of the gona answered. Clarke could tell by his facial branding that he was Azgeda. As she looked them over, she realized they all were.

“As your Commander, chil yo daun,” Lexa ordered. The gona, all men, looked at each other as they considered Lexa’s words. Lexa didn’t appreciate the hesitation. She pulled her sword, hoping the gesture would be enough to get them to fall back. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Clarke started waving her hands, “let’s just—“

“Chil yo daun o die,” Lexa held her sword in her right hand and motioned for Clarke to stay back with her left. Lexa wasn't used to her authority being challenge in her own territory and she checked her footing because she had a feeling that blades were going to clash. 

When the men reached for their own weapons, Octavia pulled her sword too. Lincoln who had been standing behind them stepped up weaponless beside Octavia. 

“Protect the family,” Lexa called over her shoulder to Clarke. Clarke was torn between helping them fight and getting Cruz, Silver, and Alexandra to safely. She grunted and did as Lexa had asked. She ushered the natives of San Fe back into the rover. She heard metal striking against metal as she secured the back door to the truck. She knew Lexa had intended for her to stay safe in the rover too, but she wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines, not when Lexa’s life was at risk. Clarke reached up under the passenger seat and grabbed the flare gun from the rover’s emergency kit.

Two gona had already been taken out of commission. They were laying on the side of the road either unconscious or dead, Clarke couldn’t tell which. Clarke noticed that Lincoln had managed to procure a weapon, a war axe. Still, he was using it defensively, blocking but not bludgeoning. Clarke wondered, not for the first time, at his ability to maintain his pacifism even in the face of brutality. Currently he was dealing with one of the six remaining gona. Two were targeting Octavia. Three had decided to gang up on Lexa who was currently keeping them at bay by swinging her sword in sweeping arcs, daring one of them to try and charge her. Clarke shook her head when she realized that Lexa had a wicked smile on her face. She was enjoying the challenge. The grim looks on the gonas’ faces told Clarke that they realized that they’d bitten off more than they could chew. 

Clarke raised the flare gun and pointed it in the direction of two of the gona who were threatening Lexa. “Chil yo daun,” she yelled.

“Wanheda,” one of them sneered and turned her way. 

It was enough to grab Lexa’s eye for a second. She looked Clarke’s way and the two gona who were still threatening her took that as their moment to rush. It was their last mistake. Lexa skewered one with her blade while extending her leg to kick the other man’s sword from his hand. Before he could recover, she’d shoved the first kill off of her sword and turned to impale him.  


The gona coming for Clarke was swinging a club that was studded with nails. He was more sure of himself against the Skaigirl than he had been against Heda. He came at Clarke at a quick clip and was stunned when he felt the flare rip through his gut. He tried to pat at the hole that seared his midsection but he collapsed before his hand could reach his belly.

Lexa cocked her eyebrow at Clarke approvingly and turned to help Octavia. But Octavia had already slayed the two men that had been harassing her and Lincoln had brought his opponent down too. Clarke tossed the empty flare pistol to the ground and surveyed the scene. She was certain, more now than ever, that Bellamy was already dead and that there would definitely be war. She was anxious about what they were going to find when they finally reached Polis. “Maybe we should go to Arkadia first, for reinforcements,” she suggested.

“Not unless you are going on foot,” Octavia hurried back to the rover. She had apparently come to the same conclusion as Clarke and didn’t want to waste any time getting to Polis, to her brother.

“Octavia. Stop!” Lexa ordered.

Clarke could see that it was all Octavia could do to obey, but it was a direct order from Heda. Thankfully, her training kicked in and she did as instructed. “Lincoln, I want you to take Cruz and his family to Arkadia,” Lexa, in full Commander mode, doled out the order.

He shook his head. It was obvious that he didn’t like the idea of leaving Octavia in her current state. “Listen to me,” Lexa pointed to the dead Azgeda warriors, “if this is any indication of what we are going to find in Polis then they won’t be safe there. I’m not willingly leading these civilians into danger. Take them to Arkadia.”

Cruz held his head out of the rover’s passenger-side window. “I can fight, Heda.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve shown your skill lies in working with tech. You can help me fight in another way. I’ve got plenty of gona who put their bodies on the line. I need gona like you, who use their brains.”

Clarke smiled. Lexa never ceased to amaze her. Her ability to adapt to changes so quickly and to understand the changes that technology was going to wreak on her world were what separated her from the rest of her people. She really was a truly remarkable leader. Most leaders resisted change, especially change they didn’t understand or change that potentially threatened their rule. Not Lexa. She didn’t exactly embrace it but she did accept the truth of it. 

“Lincoln, go. Take the rover, get them to safety then gather as many as you can from Arkadia who are willing to fight alongside us. Volunteers only.”

“Sha Heda,” Lincoln nodded reluctantly.

“But we need the rover,” Octavia protested.

“No we don’t” Lexa answered. “They didn’t come this far out without any horses. They’ll be tethered nearby.”

Clarke sniffed the air. And sure enough, along with the sulfur from the discharged flare gun, Clarke could smell the unmistakable aroma of horse poop. 

“Octavia, come here,” Lincoln pulled her aside to give them some privacy. 

Lexa walked over to Clarke. “You okay?”

Clarke looked down at the man she’d killed. “I’m fine.” Lexa stroked Clarke’s cheek lovingly as if doing so could somehow absolve her of all the lives she’d taken. She knew that even Heda didn’t have that power, but her gentle love did hold another kind of power, the promise that she’d never have to bear such burdens alone. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The made it to Polis an hour later. Clarke wasn’t surprised to find Azgeda guards at the city gates. But she was surprised that they opened the gates without a fight. It wasn’t until they passed through the gates that she realized that the guards hadn’t bowed to Lexa. They were letting her know up front where their loyalties lay. The normally bustling city was quiet. The streets were empty, the vendor stalls vacant, it looked like a ghost town.

They turned the corner and walked toward the city’s central square where public trials and assemblies were held. Clarke looked up to the top of tower which sat adjacent to the central square. She wondered if Ontari was up there, sitting in Heda’s throne. The wind carried a stench, Clarke inhaled trying to place it. She caught the sharp odor of copper and knew there had been blood. 

“My God,” Octavia cried as the carnage came into view. “There are children here!”

The public square had been turned into an execution yard. Three crosses rose into the sky, a body hung on each, bodies were piled in heaps on the ground. Clarke quit counting at twenty. Ontari hadn’t discriminated in her victims, there were bodies from all clans. Clarke saw at least two Skaikru jackets on the dead bodies. She looked closer at the victims on the cross, one of them was Wick. 

“We have to help them. We need to get them down, now.” Clarke ran to Wick’s feet and started trying to pull out the nails that were pounded through his ankles. 

“Clarke, Clarke,” Lexa called as she pulled her away. “It’s too late, look at his color.”

Octavia ran to one of the body piles. “Where’s Bell?” She screamed, “Bellamy!”

Clarke wrenched away from Lexa. It was too much. All of it was just too much. They’d fought so hard! Defeated Pike. Took out Alie. Brought peace to the Thirteen Clans. And for what? To be plunged into yet another war? 

“Blood must have blood!” Ontari called as she came into the square behind them. She was flanked by eight ambassadors and Titus. 

Lexa glared at her old ticha. Had he been part of the coup against her? Lexa took quick stock of just which clans stood with Ontari. 

“Where is Bellamy?” Octavia demanded and Clarke was sure she was going to rush Ontari but a look from Lexa stayed her hand. 

“Dead,” Ontari answered with a cool smile. Titus cast his eyes to the ground. 

“No he isn’t,” Lexa challenged. “If you’d killed him, you’d have him displayed here for us to see. You’ve made quite a show here. But most of these people are children and old people.”

“Thinning the herd,” Ontari sneered.

“You mean getting rid of your potential competition. I see you killed the Natblida.” 

Titus swallowed. Lexa could see that he regretted his part in their deaths. Clarke looked back to the piles of corpses and realized that Lexa was right. The children were all Natiblida. And the old people Clarke realized were Ambassadors, they must have been the ones who’d dared to stand against her. 

“They were all too young to participate in the Conclave. It wouldn’t really have been fair to let them fight a fight they couldn’t win. Besides that would have just been a waste of time for the main event.” Ontari quipped.

Clarke looked more closely at the piles. She didn’t see Monty either. And he wasn’t with the ambassadors who supported Ontari. 

“There isn’t going to be a Conclave.” Lexa stated.

“Oh but you see, Lexa,” Ontari used Lexa’s birth name purposefully. She was refusing to acknowledge her as Heda, “there is.”

Lexa considered her options. Ontari’s army clearly held the city. In fact, Lexa wondered where her own gona had disappeared to. She wondered if she even had any left. Looking at the ambassadors that flanked Ontari she knew that she couldn’t count on their armies to help. Which meant she only had Trikru, Skaikru, Sankru, Blue Cliff, and Delfikru in her corner. Lexa surveyed the square with quick eyes. She noticed that warriors had been placed at strategic points.

“So observant, Lexa.” Ontari scoffed. “You know what your problem is?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” Lexa jutted her chin in defiance.

“You’re so sure of yourself. You walked right in here like you own the damn place, like you’re irrefuckingplaceable. But you’re not. You’re not the only Natblida. And you shouldn’t have been given the Flame. The Conclave was never completed. Luna ran and I was withheld. Doesn’t seem fair when you think about it.”

“You don’t care about fairness,” Clarke surged forward. Lexa restrained her.

Ontari laughed. “And you know what the funniest thing is, Lexa? The funniest thing is that you don’t learn. You got Costia killed and you’re gonna get this one killed too. You must lick one hell of a pussy for these cunts to keep following you around like this knowing they are going to get their heads cut off.”

This time, Lexa had to restrain herself. But she couldn’t risk doing anything rash. She wouldn’t risk Clarke’s life for her pride. She cursed herself for not sending Clarke with Lincoln. She’d almost done it but she’d wanted Clarke close to her so that she could protect her. The truth of Ontari’s words stung her ears. As long as Clarke was with her, she would be a target. 

“So you want a Conclave? Is that it? Wouldn’t it be easier for you just to challenge me?”

“But not nearly as fun.” Ontari turned to Titus, “Bring the other novitiates.”

“Sha Heda,” Titus bowed to Ontari before leaving. 

Clarke could see Lexa’s jaw twitching. 

“You hear that Lexa? I’m Heda now!” 

The ambassadors began chanting, “Lexa no Heda no mo.”

“Let Clarke and Octavia go and you can have your fight, Ontari.” Lexa bargained.

“Lexa—“ Clarke started to protest.

“Stay out of this, Clarke.” Lexa barked. She needed to get Clarke and Octavia to safety and if that meant letting Ontari believe that she accepted her terms, then so be it. 

“Oh, but I want your little Skaigirl to have a front row seat. I had to watch you kill Nia. It’s only fair that she watch you die.”

“Then let Octavia go,” Clarke requested.

“You know, I think I will.” Ontari motioned for two gona to come take Octavia. “Teik em back kom Arkadia. Tel em chit waits gon emo chon stand gon me, en frag em op.” One of the gona clubbed Octavia over the head, knocking her out cold, the other threw her over his shoulder like a burlap bag and the took off with her. It was all Clarke could do to keep her cool. They were clearly outnumbered and Lexa, it seemed, was choosing to go along with Ontari’s game for the time being. Clarke decided it best to follow Lexa’s lead.

The gona carrying Octavia cut in front of Titus as the Fleimkeppa returned to the square followed by Aden and Luna, both in chains. Luna and Lexa’s eyes locked momentarily. But the moment was broken by Aden calling out, “Heda!” 

“Shof em op!” Ontari yelled for Titus to quieten the red-haired boy. Then she turned to Lexa. “So, this is the Conclave. You, me. Luna, and Aden. The only living Natblida. I’ll take on Luna in the first round and you will face Aden.” Ontari smiled.

Clarke could see her plan immediately. Luna was a known pacifist. There was no way she would put up a fight. Ontari would simply murder her. And Lexa would have to kill a boy she’d been training since infancy. Ontari knew such an act would be demoralizing. She’d have Lexa right where she wanted her. And since there was an actual tournament she could claim that the Conclave had validity. 

“You’re sick,” Clarke spat.

Ontari ignored her and eyeballed Lexa, “Oh, and you shouldn’t have an unfair advantage. I’ll be needing the Flame. Titus will take it for safekeeping. Titus!” Ontari ordered.

Titus reached into his robe and pulled out a pouch then started moving toward Lexa. 

Lexa fell down to her knees. Clarke looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “There is a simpler way to do this, Heda,” Lexa called.

Clarke tried to pull Lexa up. “What are you doing?”

“No, she’s Heda.” Lexa affirmed.

Ontari squinted her eyes at Lexa. She couldn’t figure out what the Commander was playing at. But ultimately she shrugged her shoulders. She’d dreamed of the day that she’d see Lexa dead or on her knees before her and here it was. Her victory!

Lexa bent her head forward and let Titus take a scalpel to the back of her neck. 

“Lexa!” Clarke cried. But she froze as she saw the black blood ooze and the AI chip slide out. Titus held it up and showed the crowd. Clarke clapped her hand against Lexa’s wound trying to staunch the flow of blood. 

Titus walked the Flame over to Ontari. She didn’t bow, she simply bent her neck to provide Titus the access to work. Within seconds the AI had insinuated itself inside her.

“So much for safe keeping,” Clarke said.

“Lexa knows when she’s been beat.” Ontari returned. 

“Say it again, Lexa. I like the sound of my title dripping off of your defeated lips.”

“Heda.” Lexa replied and moved Clarke’s hand off of her neck. Clarke scanned Lexa’s face. If she was in pain, she was hiding it well and she didn’t appear to have lost too much blood. But Clarke could see the black blood drop on the ground behind her. She needed to stitch and bandage the wound. 

“Your new Heda!” Titus called.

Ontari yelled across the square. “And my first order of business. Jus Drein Jus Daun. Blood Must Have Blood.” The Azgeda warriors who’d been protecting the square erupted in cheers and applause. 

Lexa waited for them all to quiet down and then she spoke up. “You all recognize the new Commander? You all recognize the old ways? The old rules?”

“Ayes” and “Shas” filled the courtyard. 

Lexa eyed the ambassadors, “And you?”

“Sha,” they answered in unison. 

“Good!” Lexa said calmly, “then I issue the challenge. Soulou gonplei to the death.”

So that had been Lexa’s plan. This way only one more person had to die. She would face Ontari. And, since the Grounders had vowed to be committed to the old way, they would be bound to the victor. Clarke smiled at Lexa’s genius. 

Titus announced. “Leksa kom Trikru has challenged Heda to soulou gonplei. Leksa choose your champion.”

Lexa stared purposefully at Titus. “Ai Laik Leksa kom Trikru, Non na throu daun gon ai.”

Titus’ jaw clenched in what Clarke could only describe as respect and pride. He turned to Ontari. “Heda, name your champion.”

Ontari lacked Lexa’s honor and had learned cruelty from Nia. “Ai choose Clarke kom Skaikru as my champion.”

Lexa’s heart sank. Clarke’s too. Ontari didn’t have one to sink. Her laughter carried through the streets of Polis.


	15. Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A resistance forms and Lexa bares her heart.

The two Azgeda warriors who’d been ordered by Ontari to take Octavia to Arkadia were riding on the main road from Polis. They rode one in front of the other. The lead man carried Octavia slumped unconscious across the back of his horse. 

“Gonna rain,” the man in the rear called and pointed to the darkening skies to the South. 

“Heavy too,” the lead man responded. But neither of them lived to see the rain. An arrow pierced the lead man’s brain just seconds before the other man was pulled off his mount by Indra kom Trikru. When he hit the ground, she quickly severed his left carotid artery ending his life in seconds. The lead man fell forward causing his horse to panic but Echo bounded out of the trees to calm the horse. 

“Whoa there buddy.” She cooed to the stallion. She stroked its neck gently with her right hand. In her left hand she carried the bow that had shot the fatal arrow into the Azgeda warrior’s head. “Yu gonplei ste odon,” she spat at the Azgeda traitor as his body fell from the horse’s back. She had no sympathy for any Azgeda gona who’d chosen to throw their lot in with Ontari. To her they were even worse than the Skaikru invaders who she was now forced to ally herself with in order to avenge her king. 

“Is O okay?” Bellamy asked as he bounded out of the woods along with Monty and Miller. 

Indra, satisfied with her kill had already started moving toward Octavia. She checked her Sekon’s pulse points. “She’s alive. Help me get her down.” Bellamy slid his arm up under Octavia’s midsection and gently lifted her off of the horse. She grunted and mumbled. 

“O. Hey, it’s me. It’s Bell. You’re gonna be okay.”

“Lincoln,” Octavia whispered through the haze. She couldn’t remember anything. Why was everything so dark? There was trouble. She remembered danger. Danger and death. Lincoln. His lips. Lincoln in danger? No, no it was her that was in danger. Azgeda. Ontari. It was starting to come back to her. Bellamy. Where was Bellamy? Octavia’s eyes shot open and her hand went to her side. Her hilt wasn’t there. Her sword was gone. But it was okay. She wasn’t in danger anymore. Indra was there. And Bellamy. Bellamy! “Bellamy!” She cried, “you’re alive.”

“Thanks to these two,” he pointed to Indra and Echo. 

“And Miller and Monty. You’re here too.” Octavia smiled.

“Yeah, Wick wasn’t so lucky,” Monty looked to the ground.

“I know, I saw. It’s bad. Ontari’s gained control of Polis, she’s got the clans on her side too.”

“Not entirely,” Indra interjected. “The ambassadors, they fear her. So they are going along right now but the gona in the field, they’ll follow Lexa. Well, most of them will. Not Azgeda, of course. And there might be a few factions in the other clans but no one is going to stand against Ontari until Lexa is back.”

“Well then, get ready to fight. Lexa and Clarke came back with me. They are still in Polis.”

“What? Polis is not safe for them.” Bellamy cried.”\

“Yeah, we figured that out pretty quickly.”

“Lincoln’s with them?” Indra asked.

“Actually no. He’s taken the rover to Arkadia. Lexa asked him to go there and gather volunteers, she thought things might be out of hand in the capital.”

“Out of hand is a bit of an understatement,” Echo finally had the horse calmed and joined the conversation.

“You’re not dead? What about Roan?” Octavia was surprised to see Echo among their party.

“She assassinated him in broad daylight” Echo replied.

“And your people chose to follow her?” Octavia was disgusted.

“Not everyone. She killed those who stood against her. The army was pretty riled up. they were upset over Skaikru encroachment into our hunting grounds.” Echo cast her eyes accusingly at Bellamy.

“We’ve been over this. It was poor judgement. I am sorry”

“I’ll say,” Echo cocked an eyebrow that said she didn’t think much of his apology.

“Guys, we don’t have time to argue.” Monty said.

“The boy is right,” Indra agreed. “Octavia can you ride?”

“I think so.”

“Good, we will double up on these horses and meet up with Lincoln in Arkadia.” Indra mounted the rear horse and offered Octavia a hand up. “Monty and Miller, you’re on recon. Find out what you can about what’s going on in Polis. We will rendezvous back here at sunrise tomorrow.” 

“Got it,” Miller nodded to Indra. “Bring guns, we are gonna need them,” he called to Bellamy.

“Damn right,” Bellamy fist bumped him before he vaulted up onto the stallion. 

“I have to ride with him?” Echo gave Indra a look of displeasure. 

“Just get on the damn horse, Echo.” Octavia didn’t have the patience to deal with Echo’s attitude.

“Fine.” Echo climbed on the horse but put herself in the front and took the reins. “Hold on Skaiboy. I’m gonna show you what riding is.”

“Whatever,” Bellamy grunted but then had to hold on to her waist tightly as she kicked the stallion into a breakneck run. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞  
The cell that Ontari had thrown them in was dank, dark, and it smelled like piss. She hadn’t even given them water to drink. There was a bucket in the center of the cell that had some old fetid water in it but it wasn’t’ fit for drinking and it only added to the stench of the cell. 

“Quaint,” Luna called as she moved to the rear right corner and sat down with her legs crossed one over the other. “How does it feel to be caged in the same hole that you’ve put prisoners in Lexa?”

“I’m not interested in a lecture right now, Luna.” Lexa didn’t want to waste energy discussing philosophy with a pacifist. What she needed now was a plan of action, a solution, not a judgement on her performance as Heda. “You weren’t interested in the job. Someone had to take it.”

“Oh, like it was such a burden for you.” Luna scoffed.

Lexa ignored the last comment and craned her head to see into the central square. She silently noted the number and location of the guards she could see.

“I’m Clarke,” Clarke walked over and extended a hand to Luna.

Luna looked at the hand but didn’t take it. “I know who you are. Everyone does.”

“Lincoln speaks highly of you,” Clarke smiled but moved her hand away because it was apparent that Luna wasn’t going to shake it.

“She’ll get him killed to. It’s what she does. She’s the Angel of Death.” Luna responded.

“Em Pleni, Luna.” Lexa barked as she rounded on the Flokru leader.

“I don’t take orders from you, Lexa. I never have, I never will.”

“This isn’t helping,” Clarke put herself between the two women. 

Aden pushed his way into the argument. “Clarke is right. We need to stay unified against Ontari. She wants us to be at each other’s throats. Divide and conquer.”

Lexa looked at her pupil with pride. She was ashamed that she’d let Luna get under her skin. 

“Aden, how long has she had control of Polis?” Lexa asked.

“A few days now. We got the news about Roan’s death and then she showed up with a small military contingent demanding that the Skaikru hunters be brought to justice.”

“How many Skaikru hunters were there, Aden?” 

“There were four that she’d accused. The one they call Bellamy and then one called Miller, the other two were the ones she crucified, Johnson and Hurley.” Aden recounted the scene calmly and efficiently. It struck Clarke that he could do so without the slightest display of emotion. Was that the cost of being a Nightblood? Had his training made him so detached?

“Why was Wick with the hunters?” Clarke asked.

“He wasn’t. The Skaikru Ambassador, Monty, the one that was here in your place, had asked Wick to work on some things in your quarters. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was in the market when she ordered her men to gather up any Skaikru who were in Polis.”

“Where are Bellamy and the others now?”

“Not sure. Things escalated pretty quickly once she killed the Natblida. She slaughtered them in their sleep.”

Lexa closed her eyes and lifted her head toward the heavens. Clarke knew her love was trying to keep her emotions in check.

“This is what comes of the thirst for power.” Luna pulled her knees up and hugged herself.

“If you think that I crave power Luna, you are mistaken. My duty is to my people.” Lexa walked to the opposite corner to be as far away from Luna as she could. 

“Well, we will see just how well you carry out that duty when you have to kill Clarke. I guess we will get to see once and for all if your people really do come first.”

“Clarke is my people.” Lexa answered.

“She is one of your people. Looks like you will be faced with the age old moral dilemma. Will you be able to sacrifice the one for the many?”

“Heda will do what is best for her people, it is the mandate of the Commanders,” Aden looked apologetically at Clarke. It was clear that he would have been able to kill her for the good of his people.

“It’s okay, Aden. I understand.” Clarke squeezed his bicep tenderly. She leaned in and said, “Give me and Lexa a minute would you?”

Aden nodded and found a spot of hay to curl up in. 

When she neared Lexa, Clarke smoothed her hand lovingly down her partner’s long slender back. “Hey. Let me check that cut.” Lexa moved her braids aside and tilted her neck. Clarke was surprised to see that the black blood had already crusted around the wound and was healing itself quite nicely. “I wish I had something to clean it with but it actually looks pretty good.”

“I won’t fight you,” Lexa whispered. “I’ll find a way around it.”

“Not one that will likely satisfy the ambassadors,” Clarke responded. 

“I’ve already considered that and I think it is more Titus that needs convincing than the ambassadors. I’m guessing that most of them are only following her out of fear. She put on quite a murderous display in the central square. I’m sure they were just trying to keep their heads.”

“Lexa, I don’t understand. They stood against you once before when Nia challenged you. How can you forgive them for betraying you a second time?” 

“As I said, it was self-preservation.”

“Wouldn’t you rather have ambassadors that have conviction, ethics, a backbone?”

“Of course, but Ontari doesn’t value any of those qualities, you saw what she did to those who stood against her or those she perceived as a potential threat.”

“But why spare Aden and Luna?” 

“Sheer cruelty. She fully expected me to play along with her mock Conclave. Especially with Titus supporting her.”

“I can’t believe he would be party to this. I mean, I know he’s been upset with you, mostly because of me, but this is too much.” Clarke reached down and twined her hand in Lexa’s. Lexa gave Clarke a soft smile and then brought their joined hands up to her lips. 

“He’s realized that he can’t control me anymore. In my grief, he was able to influence me in ways I should have never let him. But you’ve brought joy and happiness back into my life. Color and beauty. You know, I’d forgotten the important things in life. I was going through the motions. I was doing the best for my people, living until I died. But now, I hear poetry in the wind, see the truth in a sunset, taste love on your lips. I’m in love. To think, only weeks ago, I would have thought these feelings improper or forbidden. Now, I know them to be the most natural thing in the world. I won’t shut that out. I’ll be a better leader for it, not a weaker one. Titus will have to pay for colluding with Ontari, but I won’t take pleasure in his death.”

“Why did you give up the Flame?”

“I thought that if she were Heda and I challenged her that that would be the end to it. We would have it out in solou gonplei and everybody would be satisfied. I didn’t anticipate what a sadist she is. I believed her honor would demand that she fight for herself.”

“You misjudged her sense of honor because you have such a high sense of honor yourself, my love. No one can fault you for that.” Clarke leaned into Lexa and rested her head on her shoulder.

“You once did.” Lexa reminded.

“I was hurting when I said you had no honor and you know it. When you left me at Mount Weather, I was devastated. I thought we were building something. . .something outside of our shaky alliance, something greater than war.”

“We were.” Lexa whispered. “But back then I was just so ingrained in Titus’ teachings. Now I see compassion and mercy are as important as victory. And love is greater by far. Lexa reached down and kissed Clarke on her forehead. “When this is over—“

But Lexa didn’t get to finish the thought because an Azgeda guard opened the cell door and pointed a rifle at Clarke. “Wanheda, come with me.”

“Where are you taking her?” Lexa insisted. He was the third gona she’d seen carrying Skaikru weapons and she wondered just how many of them they had. 

“The Commander wants to see her.” The guard sneered. He was clearly taking pleasure in reminding Lexa that she no longer held the most powerful position in the world.

Clarke looked back at Lexa. Lexa green eyes comforted her. “It’s okay, she won’t hurt you. She wants me to do that.”

Clarke nodded. She knew Lexa was right. She held tightly to Lexa’s hand for a few more seconds and then turned to go with the guard.


	16. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa thinks things through. The Arkkers are in motion, and Ontari makes Clarke a proposition.

Lexa could feel one of the guard’s eyes burning into her. He wasn’t looking at her as if he was mocking her exactly, but rather, it looked like he had something he was chomping at the bit to tell her. She ignored him, turning away. He scoffed as she did so. 

Lexa walked toward the back of the cell. Luna hadn’t moved from her spot in the corner. She was currently in a meditative pose. Lexa knew that she should try to meditate herself but all she could think about was what Ontari wanted with Clarke.

Aden interrupted Lexa’s thoughts, “She has to know that she won’t be Heda for long. Once you defeat Clarke, you will be restored to power and you can have her executed like she deserves.”

Lexa looked at the boy thoughtfully. He was so sure that Lexa was going to fight Clarke. Of course he was, Lexa thought, he’d been reared his whole life to think of nothing but duty. And six months ago, Lexa knew that she herself wouldn’t have hesitated to kill Clarke and be done with it. But now, things weren’t that simple. She was in love with Clarke and there was no way that she was going to strike her down, even if that was the simplest and quickest solution to the current situation. “Aden, I’m not going to kill Clarke.”

Aden looked at Lexa oddly. “What do you mean? You’ve challenged Ontari, she’s chosen Clarke as her champion. If you don’t fight her then that solidifies Ontari’s position as Heda.”

“I’m well aware of the situation, Aden.”

“Then you know that if you don’t kill Clarke that she’s likely to do it herself.”

“Yes, I’ve considered that.” Lexa bit her lip in frustration.

“Then you know the more merciful thing to do is for you to kill her. At least if she dies at your blade, she will know it was an act of love and not malice. And she will know that you were doing everything you could for our people to restore peace and order.”

Peace and order. Was that really the price of peace? To lose Clarke? Lexa wasn’t sure she wanted peace at that cost. 

Lexa looked into the corner. At some point during the exchange with Aden, Luna had opened her eyes and had been watching Lexa intently. 

“What?” Lexa’s asked, her voice heavy with caution.

“You really are in love with her.” Luna shook her head. Lexa wasn’t sure if the gesture was out of pity or disappointment.

“Are you?” Aden asked Lexa pointedly.

“Yes,” Lexa answered, chin held high.

“Heda,” Aden looked to the ground. “To be Heda is--”

“To be alone, yes I know, Aden.” Lexa rose her voice but quickly composed herself.

“You know,” Luna started. “There was a time I would have joyed in seeing you in this predicament, Lexa. I remember our conclave well. You slaughtered with no remorse. In fact, I’m pretty sure you gloried in it. You were an unstoppable, murderous force.”

“Is that why you ran?” Lexa asked.

“No, it wasn’t out of fear. I could’ve beat you. It was out of disgust for the whole show.” Luna frowned. 

“You care to test your theory that you can best me?” Lexa moved toward her.

Luna chuckled. “You still don’t get it, do you? It doesn’t matter who wins, Lexa. We both lost. I lost my brother and you, you lost yourself. And Costia. The Commandership cost you the love of your life.”

Lexa looked away guiltily. 

“My God. You love Clarke more, don’t you?” Luna stood and walked to Aden and Lexa. When she got closer, she could see the wet frustration welling at Lexa’s lower eyelids. “Aden, let’s give her some space. Come, I’ll tell you about the sea where I live.” Luna looked over her shoulder at Lexa as she guided the boy away. 

Lexa watched them get comfortable on a patch of hay and then she turned and walked back to the bars of the cell. The guard who’d been looking at her earlier was still there. He held a black Skaikru rifle. Lexa smirked. Ontari and her minions weren’t below using Skaikru tech to threaten and kill people but Ontari wanted to claim that Lexa was abandoning their ways. 

“You think something’s funny, Lexa kom Trikru?” The guard spat and moved toward the gate. 

“Yeah, I think it is disgusting that you hide behind Skaikru weapons. What would Nia think of her beloved warriors using such tech?”

“Nia lacked Ontari’s vision. I mourned my queen but now a new Queen has risen and she is Queen and Heda in one! And Nia was soft!” He curled his lip as he leaned his face toward Lexa’s, the bars the only thing separating them.

“Nia, soft?” Lexa’s green eyes narrowed locking with his cold grey ones.

“Yes, she wouldn’t let me have fun with Costia before I took off her pretty head.”

Lexa’s breath shook. Her heart dropped into her stomach. 

The warrior could tell his words were getting to her. He pushed his luck. “But lucky for me, Ontari isn’t so soft. I’m gonna fuck that little blonde hard before--”

He didn’t have time to finish his words before Lexa reached through the bar and grabbed the back of his head and crushed his face hard against the metal. Once he was dazed she turned the butt of the rifle and pulled the trigger, firing right into his thigh. He wailed and groped at his leg but the blood spurted in great heaps from his femoral artery. His compatriots ran to his side but instead of helping, they only argued over who would get the Skaikru gun once he bled out. His pride got the better of him and he shot them both then turned the weapon toward Lexa. He fired into the cell but the bullets careened off the metal bars sending them ricocheting back toward the guards. When he’d finally bled out to the point that he could no longer press the trigger, four other guards lay dead next to him. As other Azgeda warriors came running at the sound of the gunfire, Lexa realized that she, Luna, and Aden were still outnumbered at least four to one. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Octavia and Indra rode a few paces ahead of Bellamy and Echo. Octavia had grown tired of their bickering in the first three miles. She could see the spatting for what it was, displaced sexual attraction. Echo would rather die than admit that she had feelings for a Skaikru man. Bellamy didn’t trust her after she’d played him for a fool but that didn’t change the fact that he clearly liked the look of her. Octavia wished they’d either accept their mutual attraction and ride in harmony or just shut up altogether. 

“This is why I stay away from sex and love.” Indra whispered as Bellamy said something else that caused Echo to call him a moron. 

“Never been in love?” Octavia asked.

“Eyes ahead, Octavia.” Was Indra’s only reply. When she looked back down the road, Octavia could see five rovers coming into view. 

“Lincoln!”  
Lincoln was accompanied in the lead rover by Kane, Bryan, Harper, and Jackson. Lincoln jumped out of the rover. 

“What’s going on?” Octavia asked when she noticed everyone was armed to the teeth.

“Get in. I’ll explain on the way,” Kane called to the riders. 

Within seconds they’d piled into the rovers and they set off toward Polis. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

 

The guard who’d taken Clarke from the cell, walked her silently through the center of Polis and into the lobby of the tower. Clarke mentally counted the other Azgeda gona as she walked. She’d reached thirty-three by the time the guard nudged her into the lift. He got into the elevator with her and they waited for someone to pull the car up the shaft. It was a long ride. Clarke wasn’t surprised to find herself on the top floor when the doors opened. When she stepped out into the hallway, Clarke cast her eyes to the left, toward the bedrooms but the guard pulled her the opposite way toward the throne room. 

When they reached the double doors, Clarke heard shots fired from the street below. The guard grabbed her roughly and pushed her against the wall. More warriors came running down the hallway and two burst out of the throne room and headed toward the elevator.

Lexa! What if one of the Azgeda guards had killed Lexa? Was that why they’d taken her away? Clarke tried to remember how many shots had been fired? More than three? Yes! Had they killed the prisoners? That had to be it! They were keeping her alive to use as a bargaining chip with Skaikru but the others were loose ends. Clarke lost it! She reached for the knife at the guard’s belt. If slipped free of its sheath easily. He realized what she was doing a split second too late. Clake jabbed the blade into his eye. When he fell back against the wall, she pulled his sword and burst into the throne room. 

The ambassadors all turned their heads at the commotion. Clarke knew she must’ve looked crazy standing there covered in the guard’s blood and holding a sword that she didn’t know how to use. She cursed the fact that she and Lexa had never gotten around to the fighting lessons that she’d talked Lexa into agreeing to. 

The two guards that stood at Ontari’s side started moving toward Clarke.

 

“Hod op.” Ontari ordered. They stopped where they stood.

Ontari didn’t rise from Lexa’s throne. “Wanheda. I’ve invited you here to talk, and this is how you behave. Skaikru needs a lesson in manners.”

The two guards laughed mockingly at Clarke. The ambassadors sat silently. Until Ontari’s displeased stare told them that they were supposed to laugh too. A couple of them offered hearty boisterous laughs but most of them chuckled uncomfortably. 

“Well, you have a sword. What do you plan to do with it? Murder me?” Ontari asked.

Titus edged closer to the throne as if to protect her from Clarke.

“You’ve had Lexa killed,” Clarke accused.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t murder someone who has challenged my authority. That’s something Lexa might do, but not me. No, she is going to fight you in the arena, fair and square. And when you defeat her, no one can dare question my authority.”

Clarke didn’t believe her for one second. She’d heard the shots and she knew as well as Ontari did that if it ever came to soulou gonplei between her and Lexa that Lexa could destroy her in seconds. 

The two guards who’d ran out of the room at the gunfire returned. Ontari motioned for one of them to approach. He whispered something in her ear. Relief washed over her face. She smiled then turned her attention back to Clarke. “You see, Wanheda, you have nothing to worry about. The shots we heard was nothing more than one of my guards misfiring one of your weapons. Like an idiot, he only got himself killed.”

Clarke studied Ontari’s face. She could tell there were some truth to the words. And Ontari had been as worried about what the gunfire had been as had she. She probably feared that Skaikru had stormed the city. Clarke relaxed and allowed herself to hope that her initial thoughts had been based in fear and that Lexa was indeed alive and well.

“Now, if everyone will leave us. I need to talk with Wanheda alone.” Ontari shooed the ambassadors away. Clarke watched their individual faces as they left. They looked like they were relieved to dismissed but Clarke also noted that two of the armed guards followed them out into the hallway. “You too, Titus!” 

“But--”

“Go,” Ontari ordered.

When they were alone, Ontrai cocked her head to one side and took in Clarke. “You can drop the sword. You won’t be needing it.” 

“I’ll hold onto it, thanks.” Clarke sassed. She wondered what would happen if she rushed Ontari and plunged the sword into her gut. What kind of warrior was Ontari? Was she armed? If so, she wasn’t carrying any weapon that Clarke could see. 

“You’ve got nerve, I’ll give you that. I see what she sees in you. You’re strong. She needs someone like that. It must be intoxicating for her to have someone who challenges her. No one ever dares. Well, no one but Nia and she’s dead. And me, of course.”

“Do you really think you’re going to get away with this?”

“I already have.”

“Hardly. Even if I fight her, I won’t win. And then you will have lost by the fact that your champion has lost. But all that is beside the point. I won’t her fight her. And she won’t fight me.”

“Oh, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And I know you’re right. She won’t fight you. You are the only thing that matters to her. Look at all she’s done for you. Sparing your people. Letting them join her fucking coalition. Changing our age old traditions. Taking you openly as a lover. Yes, word travels fast. You’re right, she won’t fight you. But I can promise you one thing, Clarke! You are going to fight her.”

“Sorry!” Clarke sneered and went at Ontari with the sword. Clarke’s eyes went wide and she realized she’d made a grave mistake when she saw Ontari pull the pistol from her hip. Clarke’s world went black.

Clarke could hear voices before she could find the energy to open her eyes. 

“What is it about you Skaipeople that makes you do everything the hard way?” Ontari was asking someone. 

Clarke managed to lift the heavy lids of her eyes. The sun had gone down. The room was dark except for a few candles. Still, there was no mistaken where she was. Clarke would know the carved wooden bed anywhere. She was in the Commander’s bedroom. Bile rose in her throat and threatened to cause her to puke. She wasn’t sure if her sour stomach was from whatever tranquilizer Ontari had shot her with or if it was from the fact that the Azgeda woman had defiled Lexa’s bed by sleeping in it. Clarke noticed a chain attached through one of the holes in the footboard. She followed the chain to find John Murphy shackled at the neck like a yard dog at the other end. 

John grimaced at her when he realized she was awake and looking at him, “Welcome back to Polis, Princess.”

“Clarke, you’re awake!” Ontari cheered as if it was the best news she’d heard all day. “Good, because your dramatics have caused us too much time already.”

“Time?” Clarke asked grumpily. Her shoulder was sore where the tranq dart had hit her. She rubbed it and felt a hot, hard knot. It was going to leave a wicked bruise.

“Yes, time. I’ve set your challenge for noon tomorrow. The sooner we get this whole nasty mess over with the better, wouldn’t you agree?” Ontari looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Whatever you say, mistress.” John answered.

“As if you find what you’re doing nasty at all,” Clarke replied. “But as I was telling you before you knocked me out cold. I won’t fight Lexa.”

“And, as I was telling you, Miss Confident, yes, you will.”

“Go float yourself.”

“Titus!” Ontari yelled.

The doors to the suite burst open and in came Titus. But he wasn’t alone. He pulled Abby into the room by her elbow. She was bound and gagged but tried to run to Clarke as soon as she saw her daughter. 

“Mom,” Clarke struggled to get up. Even though she was awake, her body was still under the leaden influence of the tranquilizer. She fell to the floor as soon as she tried to stand. Abby tried to help her but with her hands bound there was little she could do.

Ontari laughed, enjoying the sight of the suffering. “Ah such a beautiful reunion. Warms the heart. Really does. Don’t you think, John?”

“I feel as gooey as S’mores.” John quipped sarcastically.

“Anyway. As I was saying Clarke. You will fight Lexa and you will kill her. Otherwise,” Ontari swiped her hand across her neck indicating just what would happen to Abby should Clarke choose not to cooperate. 

“You’re sick!” Clarke yelled.

“Just so we are clear, Wanheda. You can spare your mommy or your daddy,” Ontari jutted her hips forward suggestively, “It’s up to you.” Ontari roared with laughter. Ontrai called to Titus. “Take them away. But keep her under armed guard all night. If she tries anything, kill her mother.”  
“Sha, Heda.” Titus called and Clarke could see by the set of his jaw that he regretted throwing his lot in with hwe.

“Now, John. Who’s your daddy?” Ontari walked toward him and stood in front of him. 

Titus pulled Clarke to her feet and he along with two guards led her and Abby out of the Commander’s suite. As she was leaving Clarke looked back in time to see Ontari drop her pants. She was wearing Clarke and Lexa’s leather sheathed dildo, the one Clarke had first penetrated Lexa with. This time Clarke knew that the bile in her throat was from Ontari’s defilement and not the drugs. As John Murphy took the member deep into his throat, Ontari winked at Clarke.


	17. The Night's Too Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Abby talk and Lexa and Luna hash out old wounds.

Titus directed Clarke and Abby into Clarke’s quarters on the top floor of the tower. He looked back and forth between the two women and the Azgeda warriors that walked with him. Clarke could tell he wanted to talk to her but he didn’t dare try to communicate anything with the guards watching them. She wasn’t sure if he wanted to apologize or if he maybe had a solution that could get them out of the mess they were in. Even though she hated him for betraying Lexa, Clarke knew she wasn’t in any position to refuse help even if it was coming from a snake. 

When the guards stood motionless, waiting for him, he caved on whatever it was he wanted to say. Clarke could see the resignation in the sag of his jowls and the droop of his shoulders. The once proud Fleimkeppa and servant of Heda looked like a defeated old man. He untied Abby and removed her gag before turning to leave. The guards followed him out of the suite but Clarke could hear a metal bar being inserted into the door handles on the other side. There was no way they were getting out of that door. And since they were well over fifty stories high, out the windows certainly wasn’t a viable option. 

Abby stayed silent until they were alone but then she ran to her daughter. “Clarke. When I heard the gunfire, I feared the worst.”

Clarke hugged her mother. How many bittersweet reunions could she stomach? A part of Clarke was overjoyed to see her mother’s face. The little girl in her longed to just get lost in those brown eyes and let her mother take care of everything. But Clarke hadn’t been that little girl in a long time. She wasn’t quite sure when she’d let go of that little girl. Was it Mount Weather? No, it was before that. TonDC? No. Taking charge of the delinquents? Watching her father get floated? No, in her heart of hearts, Clarke knew that she’d said goodbye to that trusting child when she stood with her father against her mother. When she’d made the choice to reveal the truth to the Ark about the failing life support systems. When she’d made the choice that would put her life on a trajectory that got her sent to the ground and got her father executed. Clarke pushed away from Abby. There was no comfort in her mother’s arms. It was false. She loved her mother but she knew that Abby didn’t have the answers she needed. 

“Clarke who is that girl? And where is the Commander?”

“Locked up. That’s Ontari. She was the protege of Queen Nia.”

“So, what? She wants revenge on Lexa? I don’t see what that has to do with you or me.”

“Of course you do. Mom, you’ve known before anyone. It’s why she scared you so much.”

Abby took a deep breath. There was no use in pretending any longer. “You’re in love with her. With Lexa.”

“I am.”

“And this Ontari. She wants to use you to hurt Lexa.”

“Yes.” Clarke walked across the room and sat down on the sofa she’d come to think of as hers. For a moment she closed her eyes. The place was filled with warm sweet memories. She tried to draw strength from them.

Abby sat on the edge of the bed. “Clarke. This is insane. We have to make a run for it.”

“I can’t just leave Lexa.”

“Why not? She left you. Didn’t she? At Mount Weather.” 

Clarke shot Abby a withering look. “That was different. It was war. She made a decision based on the greater good.”

“Even so. She abandoned you, Clarke. Look. Maybe if we talk to Ontari. . .”

“She’s not exactly the let’s talk it out type, Mom.” Clarke realized that Abby’s experience in the sterile environment of the Ark with its petty council politics had just not prepared her for the brutal realities of the ground. “She wants Lexa to pay for killing Nia. And she want’s to be the Commander. The peace will shatter.”

“Clarke, I think you’ve built Lexa up into some mythological being. You and Marcus both. Peace doesn’t live and die by her.”

“Right now! In this world, it does. She’s the one who reigned in the Clans. She’s the one who welcomed Skaikru into the coalition. Ontari has no interest in the coalition. She only cares about power and fear. She will kill indiscriminately and often. You can’t negotiate with someone like that.”

“You once thought that way about Lexa.”

“No, you’re wrong. From the beginning, Lexa listened. She gave us an opportunity to prove ourselves. She’s consistently shown mercy where we have only shown malice.”

“Good God, you really are in love with her. Well, I hope for your sake that your trust is well placed. I guess you will find out tomorrow.”

“Lexa won’t kill me, Mom. She won’t even lift her sword.”

“How can you be so sure? I’m sure Ontari is giving her an ultimatum just like she’s given you.”

“Not likely. Ontari has seen the lay of the land. She knows Lexa won’t hurt me. She’s counting on it. She’s counting on me saving you over Lexa due to maternal feelings and group loyalty. She knows Lexa will accept her fate willingly.” 

“And then what happens?” Abby dared to asked.

“She’s kills us anyway. Just for shits and giggles.”

Abby plopped down, frustrated, next to Clarke. They sat there in silence studying the shadows cast by the dancing candlelight. Everything about the room was a reminder of Lexa, of the life they’d been building. Clarke rested her head against the back of the couch and after a few minutes dozed off. 

Twenty minutes later, she woke to Abby shaking her. Clarke opened her eyes to see Abby with one finger over her mouth telling Clarke to stay quiet. The other hand was pointing to the wall.

Clarke sat up and listened. The thunder rolled in the distance but she could definitely hear something scraping against the bookshelf along the wall. Clarke grabbed a candle from the table and looked around for a weapon. She settle on a drawing pen that Lexa had given her when she’d first brought her to Polis to protect her from Nia. She edged silently and slowly over to the bookshelf. It was probably just a rat but something about the scraping sounded intentional. Before she could make it to the bookshelf, it swung out from the wall to reveal a hidden passage. Titus stood there catching his breath. Clarke looked behind him. He was alone. The only thing she could see was a dark spiral stairwell. “Titus!”

“No time to talk, Wanheda. We need to leave.” Titus reached for her.

Clarke pulled her hand back. Abby quickly joined them. “Thank God!”

“I’m not leaving,” Clarke backed away. 

“What? Of course you are.” Abby nearly yelled.

“Shh, I beg you.” Titus whispered. “I don’t have much time. I’ve arranged to get you out of the southern gate.

 

“I’m not leaving Lexa.”

“Listen Clarke. We can go and bring back reinforcements.”

“It will be too late for Lexa.” Clarke shook her head. “But go, Mom. Go with Titus. Get her to safety.”

“I can take her as far as the south gate, Wanheda. After that, I can offer no protection. Put this on.” Titus handed Abby a cloak. Then tried to give Clarke one. “You should come too. Lexa can handle Ontari. In fact, with you out of harm’s way. I’m sure Lexa won’t hesitate to kill her.”

Clarke knew he had a point. But for some reason she just couldn’t make her legs move. Running felt like abandoning Lexa and that just wasn’t something that Clarke was prepared to do. “I’ll go but only if we get Lexa too.”

“That’s impossible. Dozens of guards. You were there. You know.” 

Clarke nodded. He was right. Of course he was right. “Then go. And Titus. Thank you.”

Titus gave a single nod of the head and turned toward the staircase. 

“I’m not leaving you here with that maniac, Clarke. You are coming with me.” Abby protested.

“I’m not. Titus is right we don’t have time to talk about it. Go. Get to Arkadia tell Lincoln what’s happening.He’s there or he’s supposed to be. Bring reinforcements.”

Abby’s eyes brimmed with tears. How had she raised such a stubborn daughter? She threw her arms around Clarke and squeezed her tightly before swearing, “Dammit,” and following Titus down the stairs. 

Alone, Clarke laid down on her bed. She pulled Lexa’s pillow to her nose. She could still faintly smell the honey-brown hair. Clarke closed her eyes, she could see pink lips over smiling teeth. Fingertips over tattooed skin. Arched back and curled toes. She could hear begging whimpers and soft cries passion. Clarke fell into dream with the pillow cradled tenderly in her arms. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The thunder rumbled. The air had gotten even cooler. A storm was on the way. Fitting, Lexa thought. The guards hadn’t brought Clarke back yet. It was well after midnight. Lexa tried not to worry. She reminded herself that Ontari wanted Clarke alive for her little show. Lexa took a centering breath. She needed to find her calm. She looked to the back of the cell. Aden had curled up in a ball in the hay. He’d finally found sleep. Luna sat hugging her knees, her chin resting atop them. Her eyes taking in Aden’s sleeping form. A hint of a smile curled her lips. 

Lexa slid slowly and quietly down the wall, sitting with her legs bent at the knees crossed in front of her. “He reminds you of Liberty.”

Luna looked up. “Don’t speak his name to me.”

“Luna.”

“No. You don’t have the right!” Luna insisted, her lip trembling.

“He was my brother too!” Lexa tried hard not to raise her voice. “I bear his mark, forever.”

“He wasn’t your brother. Not like he was mine. And you bear all of their marks.”

“Doesn’t diminish his memory that I remember the others too. Liberty was a rare heart.” Lexa looked straight ahead, remembering the curly haired boy. 

“He hated all of this, you know. But he saw it as his duty. I should’ve let him kill me.” A tear escaped Luna’s lower lid.

“I’ve always wondered why you didn’t.” Lexa admitted.

“Because I knew you would just kill him anyway. You were a force, a whirlwind. So hungry for it. Everyone knew it was going to be you.”

“Except you.” Lexa reminded.

“Yeah, I thought I could take you. I knew of the two of us, Liberty and me, I had the better chance of besting you. I killed him out of mercy. But when I did it. It broke something inside me. I couldn’t play the game anymore.” Luna’s breathing hitched. She stood up and paced the floor. “And look, here I am, once again, embroiled in this sick display. And for what?”

“Bekka--”

“Don’t speak to me of your antiquated religion. Has the Skaipeople falling taught you nothing? Bekka was one of them Lexa. She wasn’t a goddess, she wasn’t mythical. She was as human as your little Skaigirl.”

“No, Bekka lives inside of me. She lives on. And when I am gone, so will I.”

“So tell me Lexa, was immortality worth killing your Natblida brothers and sisters?”

“Bringing peace to the twelve clans and bringing Skaikru into the coalition was worth it. I want our people to be able to hope for a future where they live in peace and prosperity. I will do anything to give my people a chance at lasting peace. Don’t you want to live in a world where we build instead of destroy? Where we love instead of wage war? Where children are taught to play the flute instead of wield a sword.”

“Is this you or is this Clarke talking?”

“Does it matter?’

“It does to me.”

“She reminded me that if we fight and survive then there’d better be something worth surviving for.” Lexa smiled as she thought about how much Clarke had opened her heart. 

“I hope you both survive tomorrow. But I don’t like your odds.” Luna said sincerely.

Lexa looked at the line of guards outside her cell. She was a realist and she didn’t like their odds either. She wasn’t sure what Ontair had planned but she knew it would be something twisted. But she pushed the curiosity from her mind. It did no good to dwell on possible scenarios. She’d deal with Ontari and whatever she threw at her tomorrow but tonight she needed sleep. Lexa patted out the hay near where she sat and then lay down. As soon as she closed her eyes, she saw smiling blue eyes and a kissable dimpled chin. The image gave her comfort and warmed her. Lexa joined Clarke into dreamland.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Abby could hardly see in the darkness. The thick cloud cover had blocked out the moon. She hurried along the road toward Arkadia. She ran until she became winded and then she bent over trying to catch a breath. When she straightened back up she saw two figures moving toward her in the dark. She didn’t have a weapon. She knew her only chance lay in running but she was already so tired. The cloak was cumbersome so she cast it to the ground and took off. 

“Abby, Abby.” one of the figures called.

Abby turned and looked at her pursuers.

“Abby, it’s me, Monty.”

Abby gasped, “Monty? Monty?”

“Yes and Miller. You got out? Did you know that Clarke is in there?” Monty asked.

“Yes, I was with her. She won’t leave. Look, we have to get in there. Azgeda has taken the city by force of arms.”

“We’re working on it. We have to rendezvous--”

“We have to work faster. Do you have a radio?”

Miller shook his head.  
“A rover?” She asked.

“Sorry,” Monty replied.

“Let’s get going.” Abby gave one last look at the tower in the distance. She hoped Clarke knew what she was doing.


	18. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wait is over! Lexa and Clark face off in soulou gonplei

Commander’s Boudoir : Rain

The morning came with cold dark clouds. A guard came to the jail cell bearing three wooden bowls filled with gruel that Lexa assumed was supposed to be oatmeal. No sweetener, no spices, no nuts, nor berries. There wasn’t even a spoon provided to eat the porridge with. Aden dove straight into his bowl which made Lexa wonder how long Ontari had been starving him. Luna eyed hers with mild displeasure but then sighed, “at least it is a break from seafood.” Lexa wanted to say something snarky about Luna’s self-appointed exile being the cause of such a restrictive diet, but she held her tongue. 

They ate their breakfasts in silence. When they were all finished, Aden gathered up their empty bowls and set them near the cell door. He turned at looked to Lexa. “So, what do we do now?”

“You don’t do anything but cooperate with the guards,” Lexa answered.

“But Heda,” he tried to protest.

“And that’s an order, Aden. Do you hear me? Let me worry about Ontari.” Lexa’s position was firm. Aden knew better than to test it. He looked to the ground and his posture sagged as he turned to find his spot in the back of the cell.

“So, what is the plan?” Luna asked as she and Lexa moved toward the front of the cell together.

“I’ve thought about it all night. About what she really wants.” Lexa whispered.

“You already gave her that Lexa when you gave her the Flame.” Luna responded.

“I’ve warred with that too, Luna. I mean it doesn’t make sense, does it? That the Flame wouldn’t reject her? What if she is the chosen Heda? What if this is what Bekka Pramheda wanted all along?” Lexa’s browed wrinkled as she voiced her doubts.

“You can’t really believe that! The Commanders have always been fierce, determined, ruthless even, but bloodthirsty and savage? That’s not the way of the Flame.” Luna reminded.

“Right. So, I just have to trust that Bekka will provide an answer. Maybe she’s already working inside of Ontari but to our advantage.” Lexa’s answer provided Luna no comfort.

“Contingency plan?” The Flokru leader asked.

“You are my contingency plan.”

“I figured as much,” Luna shook her head.

“If I have to, I will kill Ontari, but if it comes to that, I want you to grab Aden and get Clarke and run.” 

“This! This is the plan of the Great Commander of the 12 Clans?” 

“Luna, we are greatly outnumbered. I’m hoping that killing her will cause a momentary panic which you can exploit.” Lexa said hopefully.

Luna turned and rested her back against the bars. She looked Lexa dead in the face. “You know why this won’t work, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know.” Lexa bit the corner of her inner lip. “I should’ve left her alone.” Lexa knew that no matter how hard Luna might try to get Clarke to safely, there was no way Clarke was going to leave if Lexa was in any danger. “I tried. I really did. But I fell in love. Maybe I’m just a defective Commander. Maybe that’s what Bekka is trying to tell me, to remind our people that to be Heda is to be alone.” 

Luna didn’t have any words of solace or support. She’d never had the same faith in the Commander’s spirit as Lexa had. And even though she’d earlier offered kind words about the previous Commanders, she had little respect for her native religion and some of its more barbaric aspects. The difference between Lexa and herself is that Lexa truly believed that the dogma was mandated by Bekka Pramheda and Luna believed that the priesthood had bastardized Bekka’s original message. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Clarke savored every bite of her breakfast. She’d joyed in the look on the guard’s face when he came in carrying two trays only to discover that Abby was nowhere in sight. His utter confusion and the chaos that followed as he barked orders down the hallway told Clarke that Abby had gotten away safely. For that, she owed Titus one small mercy. If they made it through the day alive, Clarke would mention his part in her mother’s escape to Lexa. But she wouldn’t deny Lexa her right to exact justice for his crimes against the Commander. 

As she expected, the next face she saw storming into her room was Ontari. “Good morning, Ontari. Did someone piss in your Cherrios? You look like you are having a bad morning.” Clarke smirked from her sofa. “My eggs were lovely. It was nice of you to send two servings,” Clarke taunted knowing full well that the second tray of food was meant for Abby. 

Ontari was not about to be talked down to by a lowly Skaiperson. She flew across the space between them and smacked Clarke hard across her face. The blow stung and brought instant tears to Clarke’s eyes. Clarke could already feel a hot welt forming along her cheek but she didn’t have time to worry about that because Ontari had jumped in her lap and was throttling her with both hands pressing hard on her throat. Clarke gasped for air as she tried to push Ontari off of her. “You dare defy me!” Ontari belted. 

Clarke managed to get her hand on Ontari’s face but her fingers couldn’t quite reach the girl’s eye sockets because Ontari craned her neck back pulling her peepers out of harm's way. Clarke scratched her way down Ontari’s face and managed to slip her fingers inside Ontari’s mouth. She positioned them just inside the cheek line and jerked as hard as she could. It caused just enough pain for Ontari to yelp and to relieve some of the pressure that she’d been putting on Clarke’s hyoid bone. The reprieve brought with it a fresh breath of air and enough oomph for Clarke to buck Ontari off of her. The Azgeda girl fell into the coffee table with a crash. Clarke scrambled to get away, to prepare herself for Ontari’s next attack. But it didn’t come. Instead, deep laughter rolled from the psycho girl’s throat. “I hope you’ve saved enough energy to fight Lexa.”

“You’ve lost your leverage,” Clarke reminded Ontari that with Abby gone, she held nothing over her. She couldn’t force Clarke to fight to save her mother if her mother was safely away. 

“I still have John Murphy.” 

“I was never a fan.” Clarke retorted. It was the truth. She and Murphy had never been fast friends. She wouldn’t stand by and let Ontari torture him if she could do anything about it but if it came down to choosing Murphy or Lexa, the decision was a no-brainer. 

“The Nightblood child then.”

“Aden,” Clarke spoke his name so quickly that it was easy for Ontari to realize that she’d pushed a button there. The Skaigirl cared for the redheaded boy. Everyone knew he was Lexa’s protege, the one she’d been grooming to take her place upon her death. It didn’t really come as a surprise that Clarke had developed feelings for the lad too. 

“The boy it is then. You either fight Lexa or I will drain that boy of every last drop of black blood he has in his body. And Clarke, I will do it slowly.” With that final threat, Ontari picked herself off the floor and showed herself out. 

When she heard the metal bar slid into the door handles, locking her in again, Clark knew that she wouldn’t see Ontari again until the time for the showdown came. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The clouds made it nearly impossible for Clarke to tell what time of day it was. She knew it had to be getting close to noon since it had been hours since she’d had breakfast and she and Ontari had had their little rough and tumble. She knew she needed to be centering herself and she figured Lexa was sitting in her cell right now, legs crossed in deep meditation. But that had never been Clarke’s way. She was pacing. She was running out of time. Why did it always feel like she was running out of time? Ironic that the only thing her father had left her was his watch. She didn’t have a plan. Well she did, but not one that was likely to end well. Her current plan of action consisted of taking whatever weapon she was giving and piercing it right into Ontari’s heart and let the chips fall where they may. There was no way on earth that she was going to kill Lexa. 

Her pacing was brought to an abrupt end when she heard the door open and two Azgeda guards ordered her to follow them. She was surprised that they left her unbound but really where was she going to run to anyway. 

Lightning light up the gray-green sky and was quickly followed by a clap of thunder. She counted the seconds between them the way that Lexa had taught her. She guessed the storm was only a couple of miles away. Fitting, she thought, that the heavens would weep on such an occasion. When she rounded the corner to the arena, the first thing she noticed was Lexa. Her love stood, wrists bound in the center of the arena. She’d been stripped of her armor and wore a simple knee-length leather tunic belted at the waist with cord. Rough trousers and worn leather boots completed the ensemble. But even dressed like a peasant, Lexa radiated. Clarke’s heart sped up when their eyes connected.

The green eyes that locked onto the blue ones narrowed to dragon like slits when they saw the scarlet mark on Clarke’s cheek and the hint of bruising that had already crept up along the fair neck line. What had Ontari done to Clarke? Lexa’s nostrils flared. Oh, she was going to enjoy cutting the Azgeda pretender’s heart out! Lexa had never been one to relish in the pain of her victims but this was one instance where she was going to make an exception. Her hands itched for the guards to place a blade in it. 

Lexa looked up to the dais where Ontari sat, seemingly out of harm’s way. Lexa had already noticed that there were no pikes in the arena. She was too smart to leave one where Lexa might use it on her the way she’d seen her slay Nia. Lexa worked out the math. Thirty feet between her and the optimal vaulting point for her to land a forward handspring on the platform. There were four guards sitting on the platform with Ontari. Two carried Skaikru rifles and two metal Azgeda swords and maces. She was willing to bet that the riflemen hadn’t really figured out the guns that well yet, so with enough speed she could avoid their bullets. Would she have time to make the landing and disarm one of the Azgeda warriors before Ontari cut her down? 

Clarke could see the calculations going on behind Lexa’s eyes. She knew that her girlfriend was about to do something rash. She wanted to warn her against it but in reality she didn’t have any better plan than anything Lexa had likely come up with. She tried to draw Lexa’s attention back but Lexa was in full concentration mode. Clarke looked across the yard to where Ontari had Aden shackled. Two guards stood at his side with knives at the ready. The message was clear, if Clarke refused to play Ontari’s little game, the boy would suffer. 

Clarke looked over to the other covered platform. The ambassadors sat there with Titus and John Murphy. Clarke wondered if Titus had convinced Ontari to keep Luna alive so that she would have a successor to her throne. Of the living Nightbloods, Luna, the pacifist, was the safest to keep around. 

Titus rose and announced the rules for soulou gonplei. Memories of Lexa’s fight with Roan flooded Clarke’s head. Drums pounded and people applauded although there were few citizens of Polis. The stands consisted of the living ambassadors and Azgeda warriors. Titus waved his hand and the horn sounded. A massive Azgeda warrior came and brought Clarke a sword. It was heavier than she’d anticipated and she struggled to grip it firmly with her forearms. The Azgeda warrior turned to Lexa and handed her a staff but didn’t cut her binds. 

Clarke looked up to Ontari. “Untie her.”

“To the death,” Ontari called back. 

Clarke turned to the ambassadors. “Are you going to stand for this? The fight is supposed to be fair.” Lightning lit the world up as it crackled horizontally across the sky, thunder on its heels.

“Clarke.” Lexa called. She’d got the gist of what was happening when she saw one of the warriors edge toward Aden with his blade. She knew she’d never make the leap from the arena floor to Ontari’s platform as long as her wrists were bound. She needed to get Clarke to cut them but they needed to make it look like it was part of the fight. “You have to honor the fight, It’s our way,” Lexa yelled across the yard at Clarke. “You claim you want to be one of us. Well, this is part of it. Our sacred traditions.”

Clarke looked at Lexa nearly dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe Lexa was giving Ontari what she wanted. Clarke hesitated but then she heard Aden wince and cry in pain as a blade slid across his bicep. Clarke shook her head, everything was happening so fast and so slow at the same time. She looked at Lexa, Lexa held her gaze and silently willed Clarke to hear her thoughts. Lexa smiled with her eyes at Clarke, and gave a subtle glance down at her bindings. They had spent months speaking to each other non-verbally. They’d learn to make love to each other with their eyes, to comfort one another, to laugh at those around them without anyone being the wiser. They could have entire conversations without ever moving their mouths. Clarke got Lexa’s message instantly. Clarke steadied herself and raised the blade. She came at Lexa swinging in a long arc hoping against all hope that she'd hit the target without taking off Lexa’s beautiful hands. 

She heard the tear of the fabric as the rope shredded and she heard her blade hit the dirt below. Then she heard the thunder rumble again and the heavens opened up and suddenly everything was on fire. People were screaming. Everything was black. Black and burning. She wasn’t on her feet. She was running but she wasn’t on her feet. It burned. Why did it burn? 

“It’s okay, Clarke. It’s okay. I’ve got you,” She could hear Lexa saying. They were moving. Was Lexa carrying her? Why did it burn? 

She heard a loud clang as Lexa kicked something. A door open, maybe? She’d never felt a sting like this. It’s like it was moving across her body, dripping on her like candle wax but too hot and like her skin was already raw. She felt Lexa lower her to the floor and she realized why everything had gone black. Lexa had bagged her head with her tunic. Lexa stood in front of her topless. They were indoors. It was the ritual chamber that Titus sometimes used. Lexa had brought her here to show her Bekka. But why were they here now? Why was she burning. 

“Lexa?”

“Pramfire, Clarke. The legends tell of it but I’ve never seen it. Only Natblida can withstand it.”

“The storm?”

“Wasn’t a regular storm. This is bad Clarke. Bad for our people. It is been said that the killing rains could return and bring with them Pramfire, the end time.”

Clarke didn’t want to believe that the nuclear meltdown was still going on but one look at her legs told her that Lexa was right. The acid rain had eaten through her thin leggings. The exposed flesh was raw and oozing puss. She looked at Lexa who had back away from her to dry off the black drops that still clung to her body. When she was satisfied that she no longer posed a threat to Clarke with any residual acid rain, she grabbed Titus’ medkit and started applying salve to Clarke’s wounds. “Luckily, this hide was thick,” Lexa tossed aside the tunic that she’d covered Clarke with. “Your wounds are limited to your legs but let’s get you out of these clothes anyway.”

They both stripped down to their panties. Lexa rifled through a trunk and pulled out a couple of Titus’ robes. They were big on them but they cinched them tightly at the belt and were thankful for dry clothes. Clarke was also glad that the loose fitting fabric allowed her burned legs room to breathe. She knew she needed to wrap them in some clean gauze but this would have to do for now. “Lexa those people. . .” Clarke’s voice trailed off. Anyone who hadn’t been able to reach cover would have died. She’d never have made it here if Lexa hadn’t reacted so quickly. 

“Luna, Aden, and Ontari will be fine. But the others, yes. It is likely that their fight is over. But it isn’t just them.”

“Arkadia. Mom!” Clarke cried as she realized the implications. Anyone caught out in the rains would likely die. 

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” But there was little time for condolences because the door flew open and in came Ontari and she held Aden with a knife at his throat.


	19. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Ontari face off. Lexa learns the secret to surviving PramFire. No Beta Reader. Sorry for any typos.

Commander’s Boudoir: Chapter 19

Lexa reflexively moved towards Ontari, but came to a dead stop when Ontari pressed the blade into the skin of Aden’s fair throat causing a trickle of black blood to drip down his neck. “Uh-uh,” Ontari warned Lexa then looked at Clarke. She was surprised to see that the Skaigirl had made it to the sanctuary alive. She could just make out the burn marks scarring Clarke’s lower legs. “We haven’t finished what we started.”

Lexa glared at Ontari. 

Clarke stared in disbelief. “You can’t be serious!”

“Deadly.” Ontari poked the tip of her blade into Aden’s chin indicating that she would keep her promise to torture Aden if Clarke didn’t kill Lexa. She looked over at one of Titus’ work tables, then back to Clarke and Lexa. “Each of you grab one of those daggers.”

Lexa took a deep breath and then moved toward the table. She picked up one of the longer, sleeker daggers. She tested its weight in the palm of her hand. Before Clarke could select a weapon of her own, Lexa had rounded and thrown the knife.

Ontari’s wails filled the small chamber. When the missile had pierced Ontari’s right eye, Aden had jumped at the chance to escape. He was moving low, but fast across the room. 

After that, everything happened so quickly, Clarke struggled to keep up. Lexa sprinted across the room, kicked Ontari’s legs out from under her, landing the Azgeda Nightbleeder flat on her back. Lexa pressed her boot against Ontari’s throat. “I could draw this out, you know. I’d enjoy that immensely. But my people are suffering, if any of them have survived at all. I don’t have time to repay you in kind. Consider yourself lucky.” Lexa put all of her weight on the foot she held at Ontari’s throat. Clarke heard the sickening snap as the hyoid bone gave way. When the body gave its last shudder, Lexa pulled the knife from Ontari’s eye socket and flipped her corpse over. 

“Clarke, see if Titus’ kit is over on the altar.” 

Clarke’s legs burned with every step but she managed to make it to the altar and find the leather wrapped bundle that she thought Lexa wanted. She brought it over to her lover. “This it?”

“Yes,” Lexa answered as she pulled the Flame from the incision she’d made along the back of Ontari’s neck. Lexa handed the Flame to Clarke. Then turned her back toward her and went down on her knees. Lexa pulled her long hair over her shoulder, exposing her neck. Clarke could see the scar where Titus had taken the Flame from her. 

“You want me to put this inside you?” Clarke looked warily at the tendrils radiating from the device. What if she messed up? Would it hurt Lexa?   
Lexa sensed Clarke’s hesitation. “Trust me, Clarke. I’ll be fine.”

Aden, who realized the immediate threat of danger was gone now that Ontari was dead, moved closer to the two women. He’d had numerous lectures on the Flame, he knew that one day, he’d likely be merged with it. Looking at it both thrilled and terrified him. 

Clarke took the scalpel from Titus’s leather pouch and held it firmly. She took a steadying breath and realized if she didn’t relax her grip that she wasn’t going to be able to make a decent incision. Slowly and smoothly, she ran the razor sharp tool along the line of the old scar. Lexa didn’t cry out but she did take a wincing breath. Clarke moved the Flame in position just above Lexa’s split infinity tattoo. The tendrils reached downward and started to insinuate themselves into the cavity. Clarke watched closely. She could see the tendrils soaking up Lexa’s black blood as if the device was somehow feeding off of her. Within seconds, the Flame had submerged itself into Lexa’s flesh. Clarke watched in wonder as the wound healed itself from the inside, leaving behind only a light seam scar. 

Lexa felt the return of Bekka in her mind and her soul. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment to commune with the First Commander’s spirit. She could hear Clarke and Aden talking but their voices sounded as if they were at the end of a very long tunnel, their words indistinct.   
Lexa couldn’t hear Bekka’s words as much as she could feel them. She knew that Bekka was guiding her. She wondered if Bekka had attempted to guide Ontari and the girl had refused to follow Bekka’s lead or if Bekka had known that wasting time on Ontari would not save the human race. It didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was getting them all to safety. All their people or what was left of them. For Lexa now knew unequivocally that they were all her people. The twelve clans, including Azgeda, and yes, even Skaikru. Bekka had entrusted her with their survival. What’s more, Bekka revealed the true nature of the Flame to Lexa and Bekka’s Skaikru origins. Lexa was certain that Bekka had never trusted any of the previous Commanders with as much information as she had just uploaded to Lexa’s brain. And Lexa knew instinctively that it was because the AI feared that the sharing of such knowledge was the only way to ensure the survival of the human race. 

Lexa opened her eyes. Clarke and Aden stood before her, worry etched in their brows. When Clarke realized that Lexa was conscious, she threw her arms around her. “Are you okay? You scared me.”

“Clarke, we have to get you treatment. Are you feeling sick?” Lexa asked as she broke the hug.

“No,” Clarke shook her head. “Just the stinging in my legs but it’s getting better.”

“That was Black Rain wasn’t it?” Aden asked. “Like Pramfire?” 

“It was,” Lexa nodded.

“That’s why everyone was falling and their skin was melting off.” Aden confirmed. 

“Did you see any survivors, Aden? Other than Ontari?” Lexa asked. Almost feeling sorry that she’d killed the woman now that she understood the state of things. 

“I didn’t. The guards who were holding me went down pretty fast. Ontari came at me after that. But Luna. She’s a Natblida, right? She’s gotta okay. I mean people were running and screaming. Maybe some of them got to cover.”

“Lexa, my mom. She was out in that.” Clarke realized that Abby would have been caught in the storm somewhere between Polis and Arkadia.

“Your mother?” 

“Yes, Ontari had her. She was going to use her as a bargaining chip to get me to kill you. But Titus helped her escape. That’s when she decided to use Aden instead.”

“Wait! Titus helped you?” Lexa asked.

“Yes, he tried to get us both to leave. He used a hidden entrance to my room. He sneaked her out in the dark of night.” Clarke rubbed her forehead, the thoughts that ran through her brain were just too much. The pain, the death, the suffering, it never ended. 

Lexa took Clarke’s hand and squeezed it gently. “You stayed?” 

“I wasn’t about to leave you.” Clarke answered. Lexa pulled Clarke’s mouth to hers. Aden turned away, embarrassed. Lexa moved her tongue across Clarke’s and then pressed her lips firmly against Clarke’s as she pulled back from the kiss. As much as she wanted to get lost in the taste of Clarke, time was a commodity that they had too little of. 

“Clarke, it’s possible Abby made it back to Polis. And maybe the rains haven’t reached there yet.” Lexa offered hope. “But we have to treat you first because we know that you have been exposed. So that is item one on the agenda.”

“Right,” Clarke agreed her survival mode kicking in. If they stayed on task, stayed organized, it was everyone’s best odds for survival. “But how am I going to make it to Arkadia? The rains.”

“You won’t have to,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke realized Lexa was privy to more information than she’d shared with her and Aden. Lexa looked up to Aden. “Help me move the altar, Aden.” Lexa grabbed one end of the heavy stone table and Aden grabbed the other. Clarke heard the scraping of stone on stone as they slid the marble across the floor. Clarke’s eyes went wide when she saw a hinge on the floor where the altar had stood. Lexa grabbed one of the knives from the altar and then squatted in front of the hinge. She slid the blade into the creases of the secret compartment until she’d popped the seal. She pulled the flap back to reveal a small recess. 

“What is that Lexa?” Clarke asked.

Lexa took the knife that she’d jimmied the lock with and cut a slit along her palm. Black blood oozed from the wound. Lexa held her hand over the recess, letting her black blood fill the hole. 

“A biometric lock?” Clarke moved closer as she heard a clicking noise. But Lexa started moving away from the door, guiding Aden with her back toward Clarke. And Clarke quickly understood why. The door began sinking into the floor leaving behind a spiral stone staircase. What other secrets did Lexa have, Clarke wondered. “Lexa?”

“I’ll explain later. First, we find your treatment. Will you know it when you see it?”

“I think so, yes.” Clarke nodded. 

“Then let’s go.” 

Lexa grabbed a candle from the altar and lit it from one of the braziers that burned in the corner of the room. Then, she led the way down the stairwell. At the bottom was a door. It was locked. Lexa touched the lock with her open palm, covering it with her blood. Nothing happened. “No. no this should work. The treatment is in here. Bekka told me.”

“What do you mean, Bekka told you?” Clarke asked. 

“Just now. When you put the Flame back in.” 

“Okay,” Clarke responded. She didn’t know how much she trusted premonitions received when the body was going through that kind of shock. 

“Look, at the indentation,” Aden said as he studied the lock. “I’ve seen that before.” 

Lexa brought the candle closer to the lock. Aden was right. The symbol, she’d seen it before. It was the symbol of the Fleimkeepa. “We need the pendant.” Lexa bit her bottom lip in frustration. Titus probably had the pendant on him. 

“No,” Clarke whispered and then ran up the stairs. 

“Clarke,” Lexa called after her.

“I’ll be right back, stay put.”

Lexa almost followed her anyway but Aden’s question stopped her. “Is there really a treatment?” 

“What?”

“Is she going to be okay or are you just giving her hope so that she keeps fighting?” 

It was a valid question and a tactic that Lexa had to admit that she would have employed if Bekka had revealed that things were hopeless. Lexa looked at Aden. She admired his savvy. She was proud that he would one day be her successor. “There is treatment Aden. I promise. And when we’ve made sure that Clarke is on the way to recovery, you and I need to talk about the future of our people.” 

“Here,” Clarke called as she came back down the stairs carrying the scalpel that she’d used to open. “Look, look at the end of it.” 

Lexa moved the candle toward Clarke. It was the same symbol and it looked to be the perfect size. Clarke tried to give Lexa the scalpel. 

“No,” Lexa smiled. “It was your Eureka moment. You do the honors.”

Adan nodded his agreeance. 

Lexa held the candle giving Clarke light to work with. But it didn’t take long. As soon as she inserted the handle end of the scalpel the door gave a pop hiss sound and opened in on itself. Generator engines hummed to life and safety lights light up around the entry corridor. 

Aden jumped back, shocked at the electric lights. 

“It’s okay,” Lexa assured, this is tech we can trust.

“What is this place?” Clarke asked?

“Hope.” Lexa answered putting her hand at the small of Clarke’s back. “There’s a med bay down here somewhere. Let’s find it.” The term med bay didn’t roll off of her tongue naturally, it was a phrase she’d picked up in her commune with Bekka. She wondered just how much Bekka had revealed to her subconscious during their brief interlude. 

“Lexa, how long have you known about this place?” 

“I just learned. Bekka.”

“The First Commander?”

“Yes,” Lexa kept her hand at the small of Clarke’s back as they walked along the complex. “I can’t explain it. But when you put the Flame back in, she opened up to me in a way she never has before.”

“There, there is the med bay.” Clarke called excited. 

The three of them walked into the sterile room and started rummaging through the drawers. “Clarke, what are we looking for?”

“Here, here it is. These capsules. Potassium Iodide.” 

Lexa swallowed hard. Relief flooding her green eyes. She looked away so that Aden wouldn’t see her tearing up. But it was too late. Mercifully, he turned the other way and pretended he was inspecting the medical supplies even though he had no idea what any of them were. “That’ll help you?” Lexa asked.

“It should prevent me from absorbing too much radiation.” Clarke popped one into her mouth and swallowed without any water. She counted the pills and started opening other drawers. There was a large supply. “We can save a lot of people Lexa. We have to get back out there and see how many survived.”

“We will. But you are staying here. Aden and I, we are safe. Our blood protects us.”

“But,” Clarke tried to protest.

“Clarke. It isn’t safe for you. And Abby is a priority for me, you have to know that.”

“Honestly, I never thought you two cared much for each other.” Clarke answered honestly. 

Lexa grinned. “You should know by now that I can separate my duty from my feelings, Clarke. She’s a doctor. She, Nyko, Jackson, and Bethesda will be my first priorities. 

“Of course.”

“But first, we are going to eat and I am going to find more suitable clothing for us all.” Lexa looked at the priest robes that dwarfed her and Clarke and Aden’s tattered clothes.


End file.
